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| Chit Chat General discussion of topics of interest to LGBT people of all ages. |
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| | #1 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008 | For my Rhetoric & Writing class, we were assigned to write a conflict narrative, and I decided to pick my "struggle" with coming out and how it impacted my life. He wanted us to show the conflict in multiple perspectives as well. I was just wondering what others in the GLBT community thought of my paper. [link]
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| | #2 |
| look at the good i do Full Member ![]() Gender: Lv. 18 ♂ Orientation: Water / Dragon Out Status: Uncommon Location: Johto Posts: 1,562 Join Date: May 2008 | Commas go inside of quotation marks! Graghhhh! EDIT: Also, em dashes don't contain spaces around them—like that. Also, you need to write out numerals if they're in the single digits. You left a space after the closing parenthesis on the second page before the period. The second person pronouns seem a bit elementary too. All in all, it was a great paper! I liked it. I like your flow of ideas in the organization, and the conclusion was awesome, but seriously—put your damn commas and periods on the inside of your quotation marks. :P EDIT 2: Also, there's a pronoun-antecedent error when you said "The WBC . . . is best known for their phrase . . ." EDIT 3: You used a semicolon incorrectly in the second paragraph. It should be a colon since you're introducing a list after a clause.
__________________ KUDOS ME. I made myshelf pregnant. Last edited by Hoppip; 3rd Mar 2010 at 08:19 PM.. |
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| | #3 | ||
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008 | Quote:
Quote:
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__________________ Last edited by Swamp56; 3rd Mar 2010 at 08:20 PM.. | ||
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| | #4 |
| Well Known Full Member ![]() Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: to everyone but my dad :( Location: Canada Age: 21 Posts: 137 Join Date: Feb 2010 | Well since you did not ask for a grammar lesson, i will not comment on that, all in all i think your paper was very good and you where very brave to write it, A++
__________________ There is no use trying, said Alice; one can't believe impossible things. I dare say you haven't had much practice, said the Queen. When I was your age, I always did it for half an hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.(Lewis Carroll) |
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| | #5 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008 | I uploaded a version that had revised grammar.
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| | #6 | |
| Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: somewhere over the rainbow Out Status: Out to most people Posts: 782 Join Date: Jan 2010 | http://grammartips.homestead.com/inside.html I am the world's biggest grammar pedant, and I will argue to the death that the positioning of commas (and periods) with regards to quotation marks (and parentheses) should be dictated according to logic, as in the British system. The American "put everything inside the quotation marks" rule is an outdated convention based on obsolete technology (namely the printing press). The purpose of punctuation is to provide sense and order to a series of words, and thus should reflect the syntax and semantics of the sentence. ---------- Quote: | |
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| | #7 | |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008 | Quote:
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| | #8 |
| EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,577 Join Date: May 2008 | Nohantes and Chandra, you both MUST read "Eats, shoots and leaves" It is a book written for grammar nazis, and is both a wonderful exposition on grammar and syntax (both the British and American variants) and has a tremendous amount of humor in it. I know I'm a nerd for reading a grammar book for fun, but hey, that's who I am. Chris, I'll look forward to reading your paper a lil later on when I finish up a project I'm working on ![]() |
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| | #9 |
| Empty Closets Advisor EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: somewhere over the rainbow Out Status: Out to most people Posts: 782 Join Date: Jan 2010 | I love that book! The next one on my reading list is The Deluxe Transitive Vampire: A Handbook of Grammar for the Innocent, the Eager and the Doomed. |
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| | #10 |
| Well Known Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Mostly, if someone ask I will tell the truth. Location: AK Age: 23 Posts: 155 Join Date: Feb 2010 | Lovely paper. Your writing kinda reminds me of mine, which I still need to work on. |
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| | #11 |
| Hey Full Member ![]() Gender: imma dude Orientation: Flamboyant (yeahh he's gay ) Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Temple, TX Age: 17 Posts: 192 Join Date: May 2009 | i loved it ![]()
__________________ Years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds, is it all a lie?...... |
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| | #12 |
| who else but me? Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: homo Out Status: I think everyone knows by now Location: New York Age: 21 Posts: 1,301 Join Date: Feb 2009 | A+++++++ paper ![]()
__________________ "It's always darkest before dawn."
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| | #13 |
| EC Addict Full Member ![]() Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Boston, MA Age: 21 Posts: 2,166 Join Date: Aug 2008 | Thanks for the comments. I got the paper back today and I got a C on it. He said my ending was "hurried" and that I didn't spend enough time doing a cultural analysis (describing the point of view of the conflict from other people like my parents or friends). As a matter of fact, 15 out of the 18 people in my class got grades in the C-range.
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