Open Relationships

[Micah]

Well I've had discussions with some of my friends, and since (from my experience) 'open relationships' tend to occur more frequently in gay relationships, I figured I'd bring it to the boards.

Just to clarify, by 'open relationships' I mean two people who are together and love each other, but allow for each other to have sex or similar with other people, usually upon discussion.

I can't stand the idea of my boyfriend with another guy, and personally I think that if you need to look outside the relationship for sexual relief then your partner isnt doing something right...So what do you guys think about this?

[goratrix]

Well, I think that each couple should decide on it's own. However, I don't think I'd be able to have an open relationship... both for my insecurity and my extreme jealousy.

but that's just me... I still have too much of the old 'relationship' image my parents taught me, and it's hard to ignore it...

[drhladnjak]

I guess I take a live and let live sort of approach to open relationships. If that's what works for a particular couple, then good for them. It's better to be honest up front if both people are interested in pursuing other people on the side rather than for secretive cheating to occur. That said, some people who think they want one do get hurt still or the openness affects the closeness of the primary relationship.

And of course for a lot of (probably most) people, an open relationship just has no appeal at all. I admit it's not something I'm personally interested in, but I've met other people (most were actually straight too) for whom it works well.

I don't think I could be involved in one - I'd be too jealous. But if it works for people.....

[Paul_UK]

A friend of mine, Nigel, has been in an open relationship for a few years. He and his partner have their own homes (around 30 miles apart), jobs and friends etc in their own areas. They spend some weekends together (roughly every fortnight).

When they are not together they can both see and sleep with other guys, and have agreed that whatever they do when they are apart is their own business and they don't need to discuss it with each other.

Nigel has had a few closer relationships previously and found them too restrictive (sharing the house with someone limits his freedom etc). For him and his partner their open relationship works very well. In fact Nigel says that he has only had a couple of one-nighters over the whole period of his open relationship.

As others have said here, it couldn't work for me. But Nigel and his b/f are proof that it does work well for some people.

[ill fated lover]

i've been in an open relationship but if your gonna be in one you gotta set boundaries because sometimes you will get jealous when you know your lover is out having sexually relationships with other men or women so if you decide to have an open relationship make sure your both comfortable with it so no body gets hurt in the end