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You May Be...

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by RaeofLite, Mar 19, 2010.

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  1. RaeofLite

    RaeofLite
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    ...a Lesbian:
    Taken from: http://www.robinwood.com/Democracy/Pride/PrideEssays/YouLesbian.html
    Just a bit of light humour. :slight_smile:

    If you are a woman and…

    You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.
    Your idea of "dressing up" is changing into your "good" jeans, you may be a lesbian.
    You use your oven primarily for storage, you may be a lesbian.
    You frequently look at Christmas presents from your mother and wonder, "What does she expect me to do with this?" you may be a lesbian.
    You have no idea how to put on makeup, but know exactly how to fix the toilet, you may be a lesbian.
    The phrase "Dykes on Bikes" makes your heart swell with Pride, you may be a lesbian.
    Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.
    Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
    You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
    You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
    The phrase "act like a Lady" gives you bad flashbacks from your childhood, you may be a lesbian.
    Your "good shoes" are the tenny-runners without any holes, you may be a lesbian.
    Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
    Your idea of "comfort food" is a beer, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever seriously threatened the "perfume girl" in a department store with bodily harm, you may be a lesbian.
    You determine if your clothing is "clean enough" by smelling it, you may be a lesbian.
    You can pack for a weekend in a "day pack" with room to spare, you may be a lesbian.
    You can change to "go out" in less than five minutes, you may be a lesbian.
    Your downstairs neighbor calls you to fix her plumbing, her cabinets, her small appliances, etc. you may be a lesbian.
    A saleswoman has ever said, "Yes, sir?" to you, you may be a lesbian.
    Your closet is totally devoid of skirts or dresses (if you don't count the ones your mother gave you,) you may be a lesbian.
    Your idea of a stunning piece of jewelry involves a double-bladed axe, you may be a lesbian.
    You own every album ever released by k.d. lang, Melissa Ethridge, and the Indigo Girls, you may be a lesbian.
    You never put your car in the shop for an oil change because it's so easy to do it yourself, you may be a lesbian.
    You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever been surprised that a friend didn't know how to rewire a lamp, you may be a lesbian.
    As a child, you dissected your dolls to find out how the joints worked, you may be a lesbian.
    As a child, after you dissected your dolls, you had no problem putting them back together, you may be a lesbian.
    You are amazed to find out that Dr. Martin also makes women's shoes, you may be a lesbian.
    You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
    You know exactly how to use a soldering iron, but are totally at a loss when faced with a curling iron, you may be a lesbian.
    You think "lipstick" is an adjective, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever trimmed your nails with a pair of diagonal cutters, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever shaved your legs with your knife, you may be a lesbian.
    You think "butch" is a compliment, you may be a lesbian.
    You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
    You tend to think of food as "fuel," you may be a lesbian.
    Your workbench is spotless, but your sink is full of dishes, you may be a lesbian.
    Fine china makes you nervous, you may be a lesbian.
    You know people who would spend real money for a photograph of you in a dress (but there's no way they are getting it!) you may be a lesbian.
    You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever used a "y" to spell "women," you may be a lesbian.
    If the word "Michigan" does not bring to mind a state, you may be a lesbian.
    You have ever said, "Ah, good one!" after belching, you may be a lesbian.
     
    #1 RaeofLite, Mar 19, 2010
  2. Katherine

    Katherine
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    All of these are true for me.

    Guess I'm a lesbian then. :lol:
     
    #2 Katherine, Mar 19, 2010
  3. prismaticlight

    prismaticlight Guest

    Remove all references to being a woman and liking women and this lists shows me that I'm clearly a lesbian:dry:

    I am so confused right now.
     
    #3 prismaticlight, Mar 19, 2010
  4. Maddy

    Maddy
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    Gender Pronoun:
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    Sexual Orientation:
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    Out to everyone
    You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.
    I own two pairs of shoes, but I don't own power tools :confused:

    Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.
    Does an enormous backpack count?

    Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
    THIS

    Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
    Indeed.

    You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
    But... a lot of them are!

    You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
    But girlie stuff is boring.
     
    #4 Maddy, Mar 19, 2010
  5. Katherine

    Katherine
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    I completely agree with everything in the above post. :lol:
     
    #5 Katherine, Mar 19, 2010
  6. Strawberry

    Strawberry
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    I guess I fail as a lesbian, then. Haha! There are a couple that I agree with, though.

    You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
    A lot of models are indeed ridiculously skinny.

    You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
    I eat 24/7. :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes: An awful habit, really. Fortunately it hasn't caused me to gain weight in quite a while.

    You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
    If I wear something with pockets, my hands automatically seem to go to them.

    You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
    I play the guitar, therefore I cannot have pretty nails.
     
    #6 Strawberry, Mar 19, 2010
  7. xCrazyInsanity

    xCrazyInsanity
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    Funniest shit I've read in awhile.
     
    #7 xCrazyInsanity, Mar 19, 2010
  8. Apocalypte

    Apocalypte
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    I find myself nodding in agreement with so much of that.
     
    #8 Apocalypte, Mar 19, 2010
  9. Super Trouper

    Super Trouper Guest


    I absolutely agree with this :eusa_clap
     
    #9 Super Trouper, Jul 22, 2010
  10. 4 seat

    4 seat
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    Hmmm....I think I'm a lesbian.
     
    #10 4 seat, Jul 22, 2010
  11. AnneChaos

    AnneChaos Guest

    I fail! xD totaly...

    You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.

    I have more than 20 pairs of shoes (even if I only use 2: one of the prescious pairs of converse and a pair of flip-flops) and no power tools :/

    You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.
    I think combing my hair ONCE a day is a waste of time :slight_smile: Most days I don't do it. It look fine so...why bother?

    You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.

    True...

    You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian

    I pass almost all day eating xD (And I don't get fat so I just keep this habit)

    You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
    I normally don't dismiss them because they're too skinny (unless it's really exagerated) just because of because of being too skinny they have no boobs and so when I pass by fashion TV I have nothing good to look at xD haha

    (Not trying to offend anyone, my most beautiful friend has no boobs and she's completly gorgeous and this doesn't make me like girls more or less :slight_smile:)
     
    #11 AnneChaos, Jul 22, 2010
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 22, 2010
  12. starfish

    starfish
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    It would have been funnier if they refereed to diagonal cutters as dikes.
     
    #12 starfish, Jul 25, 2010
  13. carrie90

    carrie90
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    I fail at every single one of these :frowning2:
     
    #13 carrie90, Jul 25, 2010
  14. Connor22

    Connor22
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    ok everyone on EC I have something I need to tell you...


    I'm a lesbian
    !!!!!!!!!
     
    #14 Connor22, Jul 25, 2010
  15. EssJaye

    EssJaye
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    lol..iFAIL miserably @ this.
    I enjoyed reading it though
    hehe. xD
     
    #15 EssJaye, Jul 25, 2010
  16. Winny719

    Winny719
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    I'm a total Fem so...BUT it did match my wife very well LOL
     
    #16 Winny719, Jul 28, 2010
  17. chrisg

    chrisg
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    Haha... "lipstick" is an adjective...
     
    #17 chrisg, Jul 28, 2010
  18. loveless1937

    loveless1937
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    Hmmm... Lol I fail at most of this. But I have got to say that most models are waaaaaayyyyyyy too skinny.
     
    #18 loveless1937, Jul 15, 2012
  19. lilbitlost

    lilbitlost
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    These ones all apply to me :lol:
     
    #19 lilbitlost, Jul 15, 2012
  20. Caoimhe Fayre

    Caoimhe Fayre
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    Me too, Strawberry - what type of guitar do you have? What kind of music do you like to play?


    Also... isn't lipstick an adjective? :confused:

    And yeah... definite "ouch" to the long nails! :grin:

    oh, and I do sometimes decide if clothing is clean by smell, but that's just when I've been lazy about doing laundry... and really, doesn't everyone do that from time to time?
     
    #20 Caoimhe Fayre, Jul 15, 2012
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