You May Be... - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

RaeofLite · 19th Mar 2010, 02:36 PM

...a Lesbian:
Taken from: http://www.robinwood.com/Democracy/P...ouLesbian.html
Just a bit of light humour.

If you are a woman and…

You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.
Your idea of "dressing up" is changing into your "good" jeans, you may be a lesbian.
You use your oven primarily for storage, you may be a lesbian.
You frequently look at Christmas presents from your mother and wonder, "What does she expect me to do with this?" you may be a lesbian.
You have no idea how to put on makeup, but know exactly how to fix the toilet, you may be a lesbian.
The phrase "Dykes on Bikes" makes your heart swell with Pride, you may be a lesbian.
Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.
Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
The phrase "act like a Lady" gives you bad flashbacks from your childhood, you may be a lesbian.
Your "good shoes" are the tenny-runners without any holes, you may be a lesbian.
Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
Your idea of "comfort food" is a beer, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever seriously threatened the "perfume girl" in a department store with bodily harm, you may be a lesbian.
You determine if your clothing is "clean enough" by smelling it, you may be a lesbian.
You can pack for a weekend in a "day pack" with room to spare, you may be a lesbian.
You can change to "go out" in less than five minutes, you may be a lesbian.
Your downstairs neighbor calls you to fix her plumbing, her cabinets, her small appliances, etc. you may be a lesbian.
A saleswoman has ever said, "Yes, sir?" to you, you may be a lesbian.
Your closet is totally devoid of skirts or dresses (if you don't count the ones your mother gave you,) you may be a lesbian.
Your idea of a stunning piece of jewelry involves a double-bladed axe, you may be a lesbian.
You own every album ever released by k.d. lang, Melissa Ethridge, and the Indigo Girls, you may be a lesbian.
You never put your car in the shop for an oil change because it's so easy to do it yourself, you may be a lesbian.
You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever been surprised that a friend didn't know how to rewire a lamp, you may be a lesbian.
As a child, you dissected your dolls to find out how the joints worked, you may be a lesbian.
As a child, after you dissected your dolls, you had no problem putting them back together, you may be a lesbian.
You are amazed to find out that Dr. Martin also makes women's shoes, you may be a lesbian.
You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
You know exactly how to use a soldering iron, but are totally at a loss when faced with a curling iron, you may be a lesbian.
You think "lipstick" is an adjective, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever trimmed your nails with a pair of diagonal cutters, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever shaved your legs with your knife, you may be a lesbian.
You think "butch" is a compliment, you may be a lesbian.
You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
You tend to think of food as "fuel," you may be a lesbian.
Your workbench is spotless, but your sink is full of dishes, you may be a lesbian.
Fine china makes you nervous, you may be a lesbian.
You know people who would spend real money for a photograph of you in a dress (but there's no way they are getting it!) you may be a lesbian.
You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
You have ever used a "y" to spell "women," you may be a lesbian.
If the word "Michigan" does not bring to mind a state, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever said, "Ah, good one!" after belching, you may be a lesbian.

Katherine · 19th Mar 2010, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

Your idea of "dressing up" is changing into your "good" jeans, you may be a lesbian.

Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
The phrase "act like a Lady" gives you bad flashbacks from your childhood, you may be a lesbian.
Your "good shoes" are the tenny-runners without any holes, you may be a lesbian.
Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
You determine if your clothing is "clean enough" by smelling it, you may be a lesbian.
A saleswoman has ever said, "Yes, sir?" to you, you may be a lesbian.
Your closet is totally devoid of skirts or dresses (if you don't count the ones your mother gave you,) you may be a lesbian.
You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.
You have ever been surprised that a friend didn't know how to rewire a lamp, you may be a lesbian.
As a child, you dissected your dolls to find out how the joints worked, you may be a lesbian.
You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
You think "butch" is a compliment, you may be a lesbian.
You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
You tend to think of food as "fuel," you may be a lesbian.
Fine china makes you nervous, you may be a lesbian.
You know people who would spend real money for a photograph of you in a dress (but there's no way they are getting it!) you may be a lesbian.
You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.

All of these are true for me.

Guess I'm a lesbian then.

19th Mar 2010, 03:11 PM

Remove all references to being a woman and liking women and this lists shows me that I'm clearly a lesbian

I am so confused right now.

**Maddy** · 19th Mar 2010, 03:36 PM

You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.
I own two pairs of shoes, but I don't own power tools

Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.
Does an enormous backpack count?

Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
THIS

Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
Indeed.

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
But... a lot of them are!

You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
But girlie stuff is boring.

Katherine · 19th Mar 2010, 03:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Maddy

You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.
I own two pairs of shoes, but I don't own power tools

Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian.
Does an enormous backpack count?

Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian.
THIS

Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian.
Indeed.

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
But... a lot of them are!

You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian.
But girlie stuff is boring.

I completely agree with everything in the above post.

Strawberry · 19th Mar 2010, 06:33 PM

I guess I fail as a lesbian, then. Haha! There are a couple that I agree with, though.

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
A lot of models are indeed ridiculously skinny.

You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
I eat 24/7. :p An awful habit, really. Fortunately it hasn't caused me to gain weight in quite a while.

You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
If I wear something with pockets, my hands automatically seem to go to them.

You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
I play the guitar, therefore I cannot have pretty nails.

xCrazyInsanity · 19th Mar 2010, 06:53 PM

Funniest shit I've read in awhile.

Apocalypte · 19th Mar 2010, 07:25 PM

I find myself nodding in agreement with so much of that.

Super Trouper · 22nd Jul 2010, 12:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Strawberry

I guess I fail as a lesbian, then. Haha! There are a couple that I agree with, though.

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
A lot of models are indeed ridiculously skinny.

You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian.
I eat 24/7.

An awful habit, really. Fortunately it hasn't caused me to gain weight in quite a while.

You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian.
If I wear something with pockets, my hands automatically seem to go to them.

You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian.
I play the guitar, therefore I cannot have pretty nails.

I absolutely agree with this

4 seat · 22nd Jul 2010, 12:38 PM

Hmmm....I think I'm a lesbian.

AnneChaos · 22nd Jul 2010, 02:36 PM

I fail! xD totaly...

You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian.

I have more than 20 pairs of shoes (even if I only use 2: one of the prescious pairs of converse and a pair of flip-flops) and no power tools :/

You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian.
I think combing my hair ONCE a day is a waste of time

Most days I don't do it. It look fine so...why bother?

You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian.

True...

You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian

I pass almost all day eating xD (And I don't get fat so I just keep this habit)

You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian.
I normally don't dismiss them because they're too skinny (unless it's really exagerated) just because of because of being too skinny they have no boobs and so when I pass by fashion TV I have nothing good to look at xD haha

(Not trying to offend anyone, my most beautiful friend has no boobs and she's completly gorgeous and this doesn't make me like girls more or less

)

starfish · 25th Jul 2010, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

You have ever trimmed your nails with a pair of diagonal cutters, you may be a lesbian.

It would have been funnier if they refereed to diagonal cutters as dikes.

carrie90 · 25th Jul 2010, 02:19 PM

I fail at every single one of these

Connor22 · 25th Jul 2010, 03:27 PM

ok everyone on EC I have something I need to tell you...

I'm a lesbian
!!!!!!!!!

EssJaye · 25th Jul 2010, 06:39 PM

lol..iFAIL miserably @ this.
I enjoyed reading it though
hehe. xD

Winny719 · 28th Jul 2010, 06:28 AM

I'm a total Fem so...BUT it did match my wife very well LOL

chrisg · 28th Jul 2010, 11:18 PM

Haha... "lipstick" is an adjective...

19th Mar 2010, 02:36 PM	#1
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	You May Be... ...a Lesbian: Taken from: http://www.robinwood.com/Democracy/P...ouLesbian.html Just a bit of light humour. If you are a woman and… You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian. Your idea of "dressing up" is changing into your "good" jeans, you may be a lesbian. You use your oven primarily for storage, you may be a lesbian. You frequently look at Christmas presents from your mother and wonder, "What does she expect me to do with this?" you may be a lesbian. You have no idea how to put on makeup, but know exactly how to fix the toilet, you may be a lesbian. The phrase "Dykes on Bikes" makes your heart swell with Pride, you may be a lesbian. Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian. Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian. You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian. You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian. You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian. The phrase "act like a Lady" gives you bad flashbacks from your childhood, you may be a lesbian. Your "good shoes" are the tenny-runners without any holes, you may be a lesbian. Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian. Your idea of "comfort food" is a beer, you may be a lesbian. You have ever seriously threatened the "perfume girl" in a department store with bodily harm, you may be a lesbian. You determine if your clothing is "clean enough" by smelling it, you may be a lesbian. You can pack for a weekend in a "day pack" with room to spare, you may be a lesbian. You can change to "go out" in less than five minutes, you may be a lesbian. Your downstairs neighbor calls you to fix her plumbing, her cabinets, her small appliances, etc. you may be a lesbian. A saleswoman has ever said, "Yes, sir?" to you, you may be a lesbian. Your closet is totally devoid of skirts or dresses (if you don't count the ones your mother gave you,) you may be a lesbian. Your idea of a stunning piece of jewelry involves a double-bladed axe, you may be a lesbian. You own every album ever released by k.d. lang, Melissa Ethridge, and the Indigo Girls, you may be a lesbian. You never put your car in the shop for an oil change because it's so easy to do it yourself, you may be a lesbian. You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian. You have ever been surprised that a friend didn't know how to rewire a lamp, you may be a lesbian. As a child, you dissected your dolls to find out how the joints worked, you may be a lesbian. As a child, after you dissected your dolls, you had no problem putting them back together, you may be a lesbian. You are amazed to find out that Dr. Martin also makes women's shoes, you may be a lesbian. You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian. You know exactly how to use a soldering iron, but are totally at a loss when faced with a curling iron, you may be a lesbian. You think "lipstick" is an adjective, you may be a lesbian. You have ever trimmed your nails with a pair of diagonal cutters, you may be a lesbian. You have ever shaved your legs with your knife, you may be a lesbian. You think "butch" is a compliment, you may be a lesbian. You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian. You tend to think of food as "fuel," you may be a lesbian. Your workbench is spotless, but your sink is full of dishes, you may be a lesbian. Fine china makes you nervous, you may be a lesbian. You know people who would spend real money for a photograph of you in a dress (but there's no way they are getting it!) you may be a lesbian. You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian. You have ever used a "y" to spell "women," you may be a lesbian. If the word "Michigan" does not bring to mind a state, you may be a lesbian. You have ever said, "Ah, good one!" after belching, you may be a lesbian. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

19th Mar 2010, 03:11 PM	#3
prismaticlight Guest Posts: n/a	Re: You May Be... Remove all references to being a woman and liking women and this lists shows me that I'm clearly a lesbian I am so confused right now.

19th Mar 2010, 03:36 PM	#4
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: You May Be... You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian. I own two pairs of shoes, but I don't own power tools Your "everyday purse" is a photographer's vest, you may be a lesbian. Does an enormous backpack count? Your first thought when you see long, perfectly polished fingernails is "ouch!", you may be a lesbian. THIS Your clothing is always chosen for comfort, not fashion, you may be a lesbian. Indeed. You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian. But... a lot of them are! You have ever referred with disdain to "Girlie Stuff," you may be a lesbian. But girlie stuff is boring. __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

19th Mar 2010, 06:33 PM	#6
Strawberry <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Some people Location: The Deep South :( Age: 17 Posts: 107 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: You May Be... I guess I fail as a lesbian, then. Haha! There are a couple that I agree with, though. You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian. A lot of models are indeed ridiculously skinny. You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian. I eat 24/7. :p An awful habit, really. Fortunately it hasn't caused me to gain weight in quite a while. You habitually keep your hands in your pockets, you may be a lesbian. If I wear something with pockets, my hands automatically seem to go to them. You think "fixing your nails" involves a pair of clippers. Period. you may be a lesbian. I play the guitar, therefore I cannot have pretty nails.

19th Mar 2010, 06:53 PM	#7
xCrazyInsanity Gay, no. Fabulous, totally. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: All BUT family Location: South-East Pennsylvania Age: 17 Posts: 750 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: You May Be... Funniest shit I've read in awhile. __________________ This is love, this is not treason.

19th Mar 2010, 07:25 PM	#8
Apocalypte Ytse Jamming. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dublin, Ireland Age: 27 Posts: 2,217 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: You May Be... I find myself nodding in agreement with so much of that. __________________ "I like my beer cold...my TV loud...and my homosexuals flaming." - Homer Simpson

22nd Jul 2010, 12:38 PM	#10
4 seat EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Irvine, CA Age: 25 Posts: 320 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: You May Be... Hmmm....I think I'm a lesbian. __________________ Just sit back and relax, it'll all be over before you can say "Cat in the Hat"

22nd Jul 2010, 02:36 PM	#11
AnneChaos __ Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: just sexual ;) Out Status: I like to randomly tell my friends :) Location: Lisbon Age: 16 Posts: 264 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: You May Be... I fail! xD totaly... You own more power tools than you do pairs of shoes, you may be a lesbian. I have more than 20 pairs of shoes (even if I only use 2: one of the prescious pairs of converse and a pair of flip-flops) and no power tools :/ You think combing your hair more than once a day is a waste of time, you may be a lesbian. I think combing my hair ONCE a day is a waste of time Most days I don't do it. It look fine so...why bother? You love getting flowers, but are somehow ashamed to admit it, you may be a lesbian. True... You eat whenever you are hungry, you may be a lesbian I pass almost all day eating xD (And I don't get fat so I just keep this habit) You dismiss most models as "too skinny," you may be a lesbian. I normally don't dismiss them because they're too skinny (unless it's really exagerated) just because of because of being too skinny they have no boobs and so when I pass by fashion TV I have nothing good to look at xD haha (Not trying to offend anyone, my most beautiful friend has no boobs and she's completly gorgeous and this doesn't make me like girls more or less ) Last edited by AnneChaos; 22nd Jul 2010 at 02:38 PM..

25th Jul 2010, 02:19 PM	#13
carrie90 The square root of 4 is rainbows Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: everybody really Location: Originally Montana but currently San Fransisco Age: 21 Posts: 1,327 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: You May Be... I fail at every single one of these __________________ I empower my Cheerios to live in fear by creating an enviorment of irrational, random terror -Sue Sylvester

25th Jul 2010, 03:27 PM	#14
Connor22 Stopped being (as) vague Full Member Gender: yes Orientation: up the bender Out Status: burned Narnia :D Location: Norn Iron Age: 17 Posts: 1,547 Join Date: Nov 2009	Re: You May Be... ok everyone on EC I have something I need to tell you... I'm a *lesbian* !!!!!!!!! __________________ Kindness is a gift. Share it.

25th Jul 2010, 06:39 PM	#15
EssJaye InTheCloset Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: about 2 people. Location: Fl Posts: 16 Join Date: Jul 2010	Re: You May Be... lol..iFAIL miserably @ this. I enjoyed reading it though hehe. xD __________________ L.O.V.E.

28th Jul 2010, 06:28 AM	#16
Winny719 FAB Newbie!! Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 23 Posts: 14 Join Date: Jul 2010	Re: You May Be... I'm a total Fem so...BUT it did match my wife very well LOL __________________ homosexuality is a redundant characteristic of birth just as is being left-handed. If heterosexuality is the norm, that doesn't mean those naturally born homosexual are any less blessed by God.

28th Jul 2010, 11:18 PM	#17
chrisg EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All over the place. Age: 23 Posts: 356 Join Date: Jan 2006	Re: You May Be... Haha... "lipstick" is an adjective... __________________ "I have had a perfectly wonderful evening, but this wasn't it." -Groucho Marx