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It's over. For good.

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by goratrix, Oct 17, 2005.

  1. goratrix

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    I'm feeling a mixture of happyness and dissappointment.

    After talking it over with my three closest friends, and realizing that SF was a warp speed bitch, I finally decided to talk to AC. My crush for the las 8 months.

    It was fantastic.

    First, I actually and directly asked him out. He didn't understand me!!! It took me about 10 minutes to make him understand what I meant. I don't like going to the point, as you might have seen in some of my posts...

    When he finally understood he told me he appreciated me as a friend (i.e. as in JUST a friend, and NOTHING more). It hurts, but not as much as I expected... It's like, ok, he isn't interested in me, fine... I'll move on!

    It was the first time in my life I went up to a guy and faced him. And it wen't all right, considering that he is straight.

    One other thing worth mentioning, when I asked him: and now what?

    He answered: I'll keep seeing you as a friend, and you'll see me as JUST a friend.

    and I replied: it will take me some time...

    and he smiled.

    He was so... great!

    Oh, and yeah, now I'm completely certain that EVERYONE at tkd know I have/had a crush on him... or at least know I'm gay...

    I don't get it, I just ot rejected by the guy that drove me crazy for the last 8 months, and I'm feeling happy!!!! It doesn't make sense!!!

    Oh, great, now I won't be able to sleep, and I'll perform poorly in my Physics exam...
     
  2. drhladnjak

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    No, it actually makes a lot of sense why you're happy. You have closure about this guy. You're not going to date him because of something outside of your control (he's straight), not because of something within your control (not asking him out, being unsure of your feelings, his own insecurities, etc.). It's not a rejection of who you are as a person; it's a recognition on your part that the relationship can never work because of inherent factors.

    It means you can move on and find some new (gay) boy to obsess over!

    Moreover, it sounds like you guys can still be friends, which says a lot about how much AC accepts your sexuality and views you as a friend. He didn't run away screaming when a lot of guys would have done just that. He wants to stick around, which means he's not some fly by night friend.
     
  3. Paul_UK

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    I agree with ^

    The relief is because you now have a resolution and a closure. There is no more wondering, wishing and hoping. So you can move on.

    It has actually worked out really well for you.

    Firstly AC is accepting of the situation and seems happy to remain friends as before, which is great. I guess for him it explains some of your odd behaviour over the last few months.

    Secondly you are out to not only him but probably the whole group without having to go through the process of telling most of them. Hopefully they will continue to accept you as well (although there's bound to be a bit of gossip). The fact that it happened (for them) without a big scene should mean they see it as less of a big-deal.

    So although AC isn't gay and hot for you, which would have been the fairy tale ending, it's still worked out very well for you. Now you need to try to find someone who is gay, is interested, and perferably is a couple of years older. Go for it! :eusa_danc
     
  4. goratrix

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    Thanks guys :slight_smile: