Homophobic Job Interview

I know 1994 is ancient history but this is still a (sadly) hilarious story for me. I was interviewing at a church for an associate rector's position. Part of the process is an interview with the search committee and the rector. So it's me with about 8 lay people and the rector. Here's the line of questioning that ended the interview:

Interviewer: So, Mike, I see you have an interest in cooking.

Me: Yes, for quite a while. I set the kitchen on fire making breakfast when I was three. I even took a cooking course when I was in high school.

Interviewer: So what else did you do in high school? Did you play sports?

Me: Well, I played football in 8th grade because my uncle threatened to beat me if I didn't. I played soccer my junior year because my closest friends did but I was terrible. I wasn't any good at sports. I was the fat smart kid. I gravitated towards things I was good at. (They don't seem pleased with my response. I realize they are now trying to figure out my sexual orientation without asking)

Interviewer: What about cars? Did you work on cars? :dry:

Me: I inherited my mother's MGB when I turned 16. If you know anything about British cars you know that you either spend a lot of money or learn to work on them. I can't say working on the car was my favorite thing to do but I was pretty good at it. (I'm becoming frustrated but trying not to show it. Working on the car is a point for hetero, small British sports car is a point for gay).

Interviewer: So what kind of music do you listen to?

Me: I enjoy classical and jazz but I don't know very much about them. I don't like country music. I spend most of my time listening to progressive rock. I think the fact that I still like their music helps me relate to high school students.

Interviewer: What about contemporary Christian music?

Me: I don't listen to much of that.

Interviewer: Why not? (Now I've had it)

Me: Well I find the theology in most of it pretty shallow. It's usually some sort of prosperity gospel where if you believe in Jesus, everything will be wonderful for you. Or the songs wallow in the darkness of sin. What's interesting to me is that there's a fair amount of profound theology in the progressive music I listen to. In fact, there's a band I like called "The The." There's a song (Armageddon days) on their album "Mind Bomb" with the line "If Jesus Christ were to come back today, he'd be gunned down cold by the CIA." I think there's a fair amount of truth in that.

Rector: "Well, I think we've asked enough questions tonight. I think it's time to let Mike get on his way. Mike, I'll be in touch with you (he never did).

I leave, pissed off and glad to be on my way.