It's Wrong

[RaeofLite]

So I was at a house party last night. I had a couple drinks, and danced near the turntables and what not. I went to the balcony for a bit but it was too cold to stay outside, so I went back inside. I had a couple blips on my gaydar who were sitting on the couch. The guys were chilling out so I decided to join them.

We started talking and what not. I asked one guy if he had a boyfriend here. He looked at me as if I had just ushered the most prohobited words in the world. Thinking I may have just made a mistake and basically asked a punk/scene dude if he was gay, I backtracked. "Well, I'm sorry. I thought you were gay."

He flushed, and said, "Oh... Well yea, I am."

I don't know, this confused me. He was pretty darn flamboyant. Then again, some people always stick to parts of their personality (ie: feminine or masculine), if they are Out or not.

"Oh. Sorry. I didn't mean to offend you. And if you're in the closet, I'm sorry to almost have outed you."

"Oh, yea, it's alright." He seemed to warm up a bit. We started talking about life, schools we were going to, our interests etc. It got to the point of the conversation and I brought up my girlfriend. I showed him pics of her and he smiled. "She's pretty." I nodded. He said, "Well... I'm going to have a wife."

....say Wha?

Me: "But I thought you're gay..." I said, pretending to not understand.
Him: "Well yes, I am. But it's not right."
Me: "But it's not a choice. I mean, you don't choose to be attracted to the same sex. Right?"
Him: "Yes, I know. It's just wrong."
Me: "What's not right about loving someone?"
Him: "Well it's in the Bible."
Me: "...so you would sacrifice your happiness to be in a loving relationship with a consenting adult, not committing adultery, while wasting someone elses' time to follow a set of instructions made by several people, translated several times over that dictate how to life your life? While this book has ruined people's lives, caused wars, famine, slavery, sexism, and told people to have sex with the opposite sex to populate the planet in order to have more children who would believe in religion, thus filling the church coffers?"

We had a good debate about it. I ended up giving him my name for facebook and number if he ever wanted to chat or hang out. While it angered me a bit that this religion had obviously ruined his perspective of life (or that he needs to find an accepting church), I also felt incredibly saddened. I ended up giving him a big hug and telling him that he has to live his life and be happy. And that he alone is responsible for true happiness and that God, nor parents etc could take that away from him.

..I cannot remember having such a deep conversation at a party. Wow. I felt so drained afterwards.

What do you think? I probably could have handled it better somehow but... that's all I could think of at the time. (I hope this in the right section.)

[No One]

That is really good. I never know what to say when it comes right down to it.

[padre411]

It sounds like you did a nice job of staying connected with him even with the bumps in the road. He must have been interested and intrigued because he stayed with the debate.

I will say that if the Bible or religion is important to someone, shooting them down completely won't open their eyes. Did you just give him your opinion of the bible or did you suggest that there are different interpretations in other Christian churches?

peace, Mike

[Étoile]

See, this is where I'm saddened. For some, religion can be an uplighting and beneficial concept but far too many times, people warp and distort it and pass it off as the truth. They end up tainting it and people are left confused and hurt. That guy is destined for misery, along with his wife and possibly kids.

I hope that guy lives his life happy, not by what someone else wrote.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by padre411

I will say that if the Bible or religion is important to someone, shooting them down completely won't open their eyes. Did you just give him your opinion of the bible or did you suggest that there are different interpretations in other Christian churches?

This.

[djt820]

You did a great job with that rebuttal of yours. I lol'd whole-heartidly and I completely agree with you as well. You did the right thing.

[TheEdend]

I think you handled it pretty well for not knowing what you were getitng yourself into. I think the kid is pretty lucky to have run into you like that and that you had such a good gaydar(kinda jelouse haha)

I agree with Padre though. In order to help him you are going to have to show him a different interpretation of the bible and not just shut it down. There is a video on a thread in the site that really got to me when I saw. Pretty long but worth a watch. Might help you help him or something.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04AVRslVRbY
thats part one

I don't understand how he expects to find a woman who'll agree to marry him if he's openly admitting to everyone that he's gay.

[djt820]

Originally Posted by egnvectr

I don't understand how he expects to find a woman who'll agree to marry him if he's openly admitting to everyone that he's gay.

Well, he IS a scene kid...
XD

[TheEdend]

found the trailer of the documentary I was talking about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpJAu...eature=related

[djt820]

Originally Posted by TheEdend

found the trailer of the documentary I was talking about
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpJAu...eature=related

A very meh documentary in my humble opinion. I really wanted to like this one too but it just didn't do it for me.

[Just Adam]

i think you did great, i could never of done that :d id of called him and f'ing idiot an gone for another beer. haha

i think u handled urself pretty good imo. my reaction woulda been that the bible is a pile of crap that someone wrote one day when they got bored.