Empty Closets Coming Out Resources and a Safe Place to Chat
Welcome Forum Chat Room Resources News Members

Go Back   Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out > General Chat > Chit Chat

Chit Chat General discussion of topics of interest to LGBT people of all ages.

Reply
 
LinkBack Thread Tools
Old 2nd Apr 2010, 10:04 PM   #1
EC Addict
Full Member
 
MusicIsLife's Avatar
 

Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between.
Orientation: I like girls :)
Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue.
Location: Montréal, QC
Age: 23
Posts: 1,595
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

I have a lot of online friends, and they're all very accepting of homosexuality, and im really the only gay person they know, but they're like totally accepting, for Gay marriage anti-DADT, etc, etc.

But when it comes to Trans issues they're extremely, extremely transphobic. I don't know about my "in real life" friends because I've never brought it up. For this reason im very hush hush about the fact that I consider myself GenderQueer.

I can't really wrap my head around it. Is it because they can't sympathize/empathize with the Trans community? Is it because they genuinely think its wrong?

Anyone have any insight into this?
MusicIsLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd Apr 2010, 10:15 PM   #2
I've got the moves like Jagger
Full Member
 
RaeofLite's Avatar
 

Gender:
Orientation: Sapphicly inclined
Out Status: My closet is for clothes!
Location: BC, Canada
Age: 23
Posts: 3,111
Join Date: Apr 2009


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Well I know that many years ago people weren't really accepting of gays, and anything trans was... well just not even mentioned or thought of for most people.

So maybe... gay is beginning to be more accepted, so trans is the old "gay view" where people aren't accepting.

Non-acceptance usually has to do with one of the following:
-Not seeing it while growing up so it's deemed unnatural
-not being able to empathize with others or try to understand them
-Not having someone close to you who's going through the issues so you don't even care about them as a result

...That's what I understand anyway.
__________________
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund
(and the lesbians)
RaeofLite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd Apr 2010, 10:59 PM   #3
One Is Light. One Is Dark.
Full Member
 
Shevanel's Avatar
 

Gender: The Dude
Orientation: Bi-Winning
Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom.
Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though)
Age: 21
Posts: 7,672
Join Date: Dec 2008


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

There's nonacceptance within the LGBT Community in all aspects. It's pathetic really, but it happens. Homophobia, Sexism, Biphobia, Transphobia. You name it.

Education or Apathy? I guess its your choice

Peace or Annihilation.
__________________

If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now.
Gonna wait it out... Be patient.
Shevanel is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd Apr 2010, 11:04 PM   #4
EC's Film Moron
Full Member
 
ANightDude's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: San Antonio, Texas
Age: 17
Posts: 1,848
Join Date: May 2008


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

It sucks how that happens. I've met a few trans people and they really are pretty nice. One even goes to my school, and she pulls it off fantasticlly well.

I really hate it, though. As a community, we need to realize they go through things tens times worse than we do. At least we don't (usually) get laughed at, denied things, shunned from family, have few friends, all because we just want to be happy. It's ridiculous.
__________________
"Those who deny freedom to others deserve it not for themselves." -- Abraham Lincoln
ANightDude is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 2nd Apr 2010, 11:10 PM   #5
<3
Full Member
 
Strawberry's Avatar
 

Gender: Female
Orientation: Lesbian
Out Status: Some people
Location: The Deep South :(
Age: 17
Posts: 107
Join Date: Jan 2010


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Every community has its inner struggles. I think that RaeofLite really hit the nail on the head; trans is the next struggle. Most people know about gays/bisexuals/lesbians, but I don't think that most people really think about trans people, or if they do, then usually it's something incorrect, such as the idea that trans people are nothing more than "men in dresses".

I think people will become more accepting of it as time goes on.
Strawberry is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 12:34 AM   #6
EC Advisor
EC Admin
 
Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: northern CA
Posts: 5,577
Join Date: May 2008


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

The trans issue is harder to get one's head around. I think people have slowly come to accept the idea of people loving others of the same sex. But when you start talking about people wanting to be the opposite sex (or, more precisely, feeling like they were born with their biology one way and their mind/psyche the opposite way), then I think that's even harder to grasp.

Add to it the notion of sexual reassignment surgery and I could see that triggering some very, very deep, unconscious fears, particularly in men (since many men, particularly straight men, prize their penises so highly) which probably contribute some to the phobia of trans people.
Chip is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 12:40 AM   #7
EC Addict
Full Member
 
MusicIsLife's Avatar
 

Gender: Not even sure anymore. Something in between.
Orientation: I like girls :)
Out Status: Everyone on orientation 7 people on trans issue.
Location: Montréal, QC
Age: 23
Posts: 1,595
Join Date: Dec 2007


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Chip View Post
Add to it the notion of sexual reassignment surgery and I could see that triggering some very, very deep, unconscious fears, particularly in men (since many men, particularly straight men, prize their penises so highly) which probably contribute some to the phobia of trans people.
Interestingly enough, the most transphobic people ive met are girls, mostly age 17-23. Maybe you're right Rae, and its just something they havent seen so its scary to them, but those who ive seen that are against it vehemently bash FTMs and MTFs alike saying that no matter what they're still females [in the case of an FTM] and vice versa.
MusicIsLife is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 12:56 AM   #8
I've got the moves like Jagger
Full Member
 
RaeofLite's Avatar
 

Gender:
Orientation: Sapphicly inclined
Out Status: My closet is for clothes!
Location: BC, Canada
Age: 23
Posts: 3,111
Join Date: Apr 2009


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by MusicIsLife View Post
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chip View Post
Add to it the notion of sexual reassignment surgery and I could see that triggering some very, very deep, unconscious fears, particularly in men (since many men, particularly straight men, prize their penises so highly) which probably contribute some to the phobia of trans people.
Interestingly enough, the most transphobic people ive met are girls, mostly age 17-23. Maybe you're right Rae, and its just something they havent seen so its scary to them, but those who ive seen that are against it vehemently bash FTMs and MTFs alike saying that no matter what they're still females [in the case of an FTM] and vice versa.
Well from what I've seen, many people haven't even met a gay or lesbian person where I live. And when I come out to them, they pretty much stop slurring gay things and want to know more. *shrug*

There was also a transwoman who attended the school I go to but transferred last year. She was a sweetie. I hung out with her for a bit and was asked by a friend why I hung out with her. I told him he should try to be more accepting of things he doesn't understand basically saying "How would you feel if you were born into a body of the wrong sex?" He didn't realize what he was saying and said, "Really? That's how they feel?" "Well... can you see why they would want to go through being shunned in life if they didn't genuinely feel that way? I don't.."

It's simple things like this that we can do to combat the homo/bi/trans phobia.
__________________
People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund
(and the lesbians)
RaeofLite is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 01:03 AM   #9
Hidden Angel
Guest
 
Posts: n/a


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

I don't know what anyone else thinks of this but this is something I've thought of before. Maybe it's simliar to why people are homophobic in the fact that they fear what they don't understand but being trans is probably even harder for straight people to understand than being gay. I mean we can all understand the feelings of love and attraction whether it is to someone of the same or opposite sex but i don't think that anyone that isn't trans can understand what it's like to be stuck in the body of the opposite sex. I think it's just going to take time for people to realise that they don't need to understand something to accept it.
I'll be the first to say i don't undertand how people can feel that way, i'm perfectly happy being female but i'll also be the first to say I know people do and I'm fine and will be suportive of that.
  Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 01:21 AM   #10
dude99
Guest
 
Posts: n/a


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

well I have heard from certain people out there too that they dont mind gays but not transexuals. Besides living life of a transexual esp in transistion stage can be more stressful than a gay person as they would have to constantly put up with the jokes and people laughing at them. In addition they would have to be put up with bigots that scorn them. I saw that at a place where I worked where there was a guy that worked there and he left for a month and had sex resisgnment surgury and it was a shock to everyone as the person did not tell anyone and dressed in womens clothes and had a new name. This person became the biggest gossip topic at work for months.
  Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 02:53 AM   #11
Just passing through
Full Member
 
Gender: Something
Orientation: Dunno
Out Status: If they ask i will tell them
Location: Wherever
Age: 23
Posts: 6,002
Join Date: Mar 2009


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

i just dont care, aslong as they are happy with who they are then im content with whatever, i just see people as human anyway so transexuals dont seem any different than anyone else to me
__________________
There Used To Be A Point Of Things.
Just Adam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 03:58 AM   #12
EC's Sailor Uranus
Full Member
 
pirateninja's Avatar
 

Gender: Biologically Female
Orientation: Heterosexually Challenged
Out Status: Most people
Location: Bath, England
Age: 21
Posts: 5,853
Join Date: Sep 2007


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Ironically enough, the religion of Islam forbids homosexuality but allows sexual reassignment surgery.

I remember when the Thomas Beattie thing was on the news and everything, and everyone I know either said 'ew' or 'wtf'. Of course because of EC I knew the details and usually wound up explaining it. Some still didn't get it after an explanation, some said 'that's messed up' and only my mom said 'good for him'.

I think being trans is very difficult for straight people to understand and, as they say, with understanding comes acceptance.
pirateninja is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 09:13 AM   #13
EC Addict
Full Member
 
Kenko's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Gay
Out Status: A few friends + parents
Location: Canada
Age: 26
Posts: 1,407
Join Date: Jan 2007


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

I think it's a fear of the unknown. Some Transphobic people might have in their mind that Trans people are walking circus acts or something.

They would probably have less of a problem if they realized that much like gay people, Transgendered people are otherwise boring ordinary people. Homosexuals have a higher profile in the media and society, so people are more likely to know we're boring.
__________________
Some of us are at different harmonics, but we all have the same fundamental frequency.
Kenko is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 10:40 AM   #14
Occasionally Caddy
Full Member
 
Beachboi92's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: queer
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Frederick Maryland
Age: 19
Posts: 2,226
Join Date: Jul 2009


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

I think the "transphobia" is a result of the same thing as any other of the LGBT phobias. It is a result of ignorance and a lack of education. People are generally not all that empathetic when faced with something so different, i personally get angry when someone bashes trans people or the idea and defend it adamantly (my aunt was trans mtf). When ur friend sais "they are still female" i'd say "and who gets to decide that, you? What is it that even makes them male and female, is it genitalia cause that can be changed, people are born with indiscriminate parts all the time. Is it biology or hormones, cause those can be changed, those can even be biologically more like then opposite of the sex the person appears to be. Is it wearing a dress and being feminine cause that is just a societal norm." For trans people to go about denying who they are is to drive themselves insane (like anyone else who would deny themselves who they are). Who gave other people the right to pass judgement on what is normal, right, or ok, especially when they don't even know what they are talking about.
__________________
All men are created equal, it is only men themselves who place themselves above equality.
David Allan Coe
Beachboi92 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 3rd Apr 2010, 11:07 AM   #15
Mad and dead as nails
EC Advisor
 
Mogget's Avatar
 

Gender: Male
Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies
Out Status: Out to everyone
Location: Alaska
Age: 22
Posts: 2,019
Join Date: Mar 2010


Default Re: what is with this gay/bi/lesbian is OK but Trans is BAD?!

Quote:
Originally Posted by pirateninja View Post
Ironically enough, the religion of Islam forbids homosexuality but allows sexual reassignment surgery.
Which is why Iranian law expects gay and lesbian people to get SRS, even if they don't want it.
Mogget is online now   Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
Comming out as Trans. Spit Fire Support and Advice 19 8th Mar 2010 07:40 PM
Trans Activist Calls for Boycott on Avatar Revan LGBT News, Rights, Issues and Equality 40 19th Dec 2009 08:48 PM
trans Steve Chit Chat 19 7th Jan 2009 08:13 PM
Keep ENDA Trans Inclusive! beckyg Chit Chat 4 2nd Oct 2007 06:04 PM
Trans Youth beckyg Support and Advice 2 27th Aug 2007 09:56 AM


All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:13 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
SEO by vBSEO 3.6.0
Copyright ©2004 - 2012, Empty Closets. The Empty Closets name and logo are registered trademarks.

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11