Interesting Though Possibly Asked Before Question

[Revan]

Hello Everyone!
So I have been meaning to ask this of everyone. Why do you think that being gay is such a huge elephant in the room? And please forget all religious and conservative views. Just plain old logic, why is it this way? Do you think it's because it's against the norm? Is it just another thing for people to discriminate against? Or is it simply because people just can make it an elephant? I always just wondered what you guys thought about this from a simple aspect rather than a religious or conservative one.
Revan

[Austin]

I think it's because it's different, and it's a very prominent issue right now, so people are really opinionated about it right now.

But, it being an "Elephant" is much better than how it was years ago when it was a "planet" they'd probably beat you and burn you.

This all stems from our xenophobia that we are naturally born with.

[RaeofLite]

A few ideas of mine:
1) It's rare. Come on. It really is if you think about it. We could argue that gays or people attracted to the same sex in some way enough to display it (are 2-10% of the population at any given time?) so most people have never talked to a gay (or "out" gay,les,bi) person.
2) Reproduction. Men are meant to pursue women to marry, raise a family, continue the human race. Gays can't do this on their own (without surrogacy, 'turkey basters' or other methods).
3) Weird factor. I've been asked, why be with a chick if you do the same thing during sex as you do with a guy since you use dildos all the time? People are unsure with what they don't know. And one of those things many don't know, are how we "do it", whether it's a gay or lesbian couple being asked because "the parts don't fit".

Those are my thoughts.

[SlickyPants]

I really don't think you can answer that without religion being involved in some way. Even if someone was not brought up with any religion in their life it is still an influence indirectly through their peers, parents, grandparents (and all the way up the tree) and society in general.

I also think it is a simple matter of being different than most people. Nobody knows the ratio but it appears that gays, lesbians and bisexuals are a minority and it doesn't help that some are still in the closet. I think it is only natural for someone to 'notice' it even if it they aren't consciously aware of it because it is different than the norm.

In my experience, the elephant in the room thing goes away in time. It was present when I first came out to co-workers and friends but after a little while the initial shock wore off and they realized I was the same person as I was before I came out and things were just like old times again.

Lastly, I think it is highly illogical to hold some unspoken stigma about a person's sexual orientation. There is no logical reason why such would exist. In a hypothetical atheist society I would imagine that nobody would even notice I was gay even if I was holding hands/making out/whatever with another guy, much less even care. It would be irrelevant.

To summarize I think that any kind of elephant in the room can be traced back to religion of kind. There is no avoiding it because our society is one that has roots in religion and certain influences have survived the generations even if some of us our no longer religious. Sort of like why I still celebrate Christmas even though I don't consider myself religious.

[Revan]

Really? This is all we have for opinions? Three people? (Whose ideas were awesome of course! Just saying)

[Harve]

Originally Posted by RaeofLite

A few ideas of mine:
1) It's rare. Come on. It really is if you think about it. We could argue that gays or people attracted to the same sex in some way enough to display it (are 2-10% of the population at any given time?) so most people have never talked to a gay (or "out" gay,les,bi) person.

Tbf, i'm pretty sure most people have talked to way more than 10-50 people in their lifetime.

I think that it's such an issue, even to non-conservative or religious people simply because society before didn't accept it whatsoever so there's a stigma lingering today, particularly amongst immature or naive people (most people under 18 or over 50). It tends to be hushed up quite a bit as a kid, which means that some people get the wrong idea for their whole lifetime. Mind this is being rapidly broken down i think/hope simply because there are more out gays, so more people know someone that isn't straight and hopefully one day it'll be as much as an issue as it is to be left handed or something, thank god.

[Étoile]

It's the unknown factor. The majority of the population were raised around straight people. They came into little to no contact with out gay people. They definately didn't befriend any. So when they meet someone who's out or obviously gay, it comes as a surprise, they're taken aback. It's a new experience for them, some approach it better than others. Gays who had little contact with other gays experience this too.

Then it's the 'Ew' factor. We're raised to believe that men and women are supposed to fall in love, get married, and have a family. We see it in our parents, family members, cartoons, movies, music; hetero love is everywhere we go. When you go 10, 20, 30 years surrounded by heterosexuality and suddenly you see someone sexually attracted to the same-sex, it can muck up your mind. Homosexuality goes against everything that person is used to and was raised around. They can't comprehend why someone would want to kiss or date their own gender because that doesn't fit into their perfect little puzzle, so they react in disgust and may even feel threatened. It's immature, but it's like a gut reaction for many.

Throw in gender stereotypes and social stigmas, and you've got yourself a monster. Being gay is very similar to being Black the decades before us. It was once seen as weird to befriend different-raced people, dating outside your race was a no-no, and interracial marriage was illegal. Racism is still alive and well, but things have largely improved since the 1960s. I believe the same will happen with homophobia.

[Sylver]

Being gay is different. What's the one common thread to all prejudices? They single out and focus solely on the differences. When you think about it, being gay is probably no more than 0.1% of the total package of attributes and qualities that make us human. And yet if this were the only difference, it would still stand us miles apart in the minds of many. It's always baffled me why two people will strongly tend to focus on the 0.1% of things that are different between them rather than the 99.9% of things that are similar.

I think another aspect is that homosexuality deals with the broader topic of sexuality, and our society long repressed all discussion on the topic of sexuality. It is the great puritan taboo. We don't speak of sexuality in public, we are afraid of nudity and the human body, and sex therapy is the devil's play. Even hetero sex is taboo - it should only happen behind closed doors, and only between two married people (man and woman no less), and (if you're Catholic) only to make babies, and then still only in the missionary position.

So when a topic is this taboo, and we then we venture into the 5-10% fringes of it, well, now it's just gone too far! That's why I don't think it's a coincidence that homosexuality is more accepted in countries with an open view to sexuality in general, and also that homosexuality is becoming more accepted in North America as we also get more comfortable with being openly sexual beings. It's almost ironic that heterosexuality is having to come out of the closet along with us...

Just my two cents...

[Chandra]

Originally Posted by JamesENL

I think another aspect is that homosexuality deals with the broader topic of sexuality, and our society long repressed all discussion on the topic of sexuality. It is the great puritan taboo. We don't speak of sexuality in public, we are afraid of nudity and the human body, and sex therapy is the devil's play. Even hetero sex is taboo - it should only happen behind closed doors, and only between two married people (man and woman no less), and (if you're Catholic) only to make babies, and then still only in the missionary position.

This. Most human societies, for whatever reason, are totally neurotic about sex. Plain vanilla missionary-style sex is barely acknowledged, and then only under deeply ritualized layers of ceremony and propriety. Anything deviating from this norm is scandalous, with homosexuality being on the furthest end of the deviation scale.

I'm exaggerating somewhat, of course. But I think this is more or less what it boils down to.

[Meropspusillus]

I think there was some psychological study that they did where they took a bunch of random children and dressed them in red or blue, and the children associated mainly with kids dressed in their color. Basically, we have an innate fear or distaste of people that are different from us.