Why should he like you femininity?

[Starburst]

This is a response to (For Men) Masculine or Feminine?

Masculinity is definitely attractive, most EC guys have agreed. However, after reading through most of the above thread, another question arises to me, beyond the preference to either m/f-nities.

I bet most people here, who said they liked masculine men, show various degrees of femininity. Some are more feminine than others. Some do not like things guys typically enjoy, such as sports. So do you think you would have a good chance to end up with a more masculine guy?

Given two pieces of information. One is that most gay guys show substantial degree of femininity; say at least 33%. And let's be real. If femininity only takes up 5% of your personality, then it takes place under more intimate conditions or it must not be any obvious display.

Which leads to another point. Masculine gay males must be rare, thus scarce. I don't believe that most of what they portray on TV is true. And there must be a girl in us sometimes. I don't think any of us would turn down being treated like a queen once in a while, right? Anyways, in theory, we will have to compete against each other for our masculine crushes, who are the limiting resource here, gentlemen. In such case, they have a great range of options or choosiness. Whose examples you can often see in life, I guess.

So the ultimate question is: Why should those masculine men be attracted to you and your version of femininity? Why not other feminine guys?

And in the end, just as something for us to think over, is it still fair to expect that craved-for masculinity? Have you ever thought that we are biologically hardwired to like masculine guys, but masculine guys are not necessarily hardwired to be gay and like us.

Sorry for the long post, guys! Have fun elaborating.

[Pepsi]

Well the fact of the matter is that no one can say weather there are more masculine or feminine gay men. I think its interesting that you say that most gay men are feminine because I actually believe the opposite is true. I believe that masculine gay men may have more trouble discovering their sexuality, I would go as far to say that most probably don't even come to themselves. It is because of this, in my opinion that masculine gay men may appear to be "scarce" in supply. Also it is much easier to count gay men when you're walking down the street. The feminine ones may jump out to your eye but that doesn't mean the masculine ones aren't there.


As for the what would masculine men attracted to me, I have no idea.

[IsItSo]

This is depressing.

[Austin]

Nobody ever really finds a guy that is every thing they thought they wanted.

Your soul mate could be a somewhat fem guy, and you could fall completely for him and he could be everything you want.

Just because you want a certain type of guy, that doesn't mean that's who you're going to end up with, and that doesn't mean your going to have to settle.

I'm sure there is plenty of masculine guys who like more feminine guys. Opposites attract.

Crushes on masculine guys are just what they are, crushes.

There's also a shortage of tanned blonde haired blue eyed skinny busty bimbos but straight guys manage.

Also let me point out that I think this topic is dumb.

[Shevanel]

Femininity is a stupid word. >_>

[Phoenix]

Originally Posted by Shevanel

Femininity is a stupid word. >_>

Just cause you can't say it. :]

[Geradeth]

I'd say that masculine gay guys only seem to be rare because:
- Since they can pass for straight they do
- They act straight so they think they are
- Even if they gay how would you know unless they told you?
- Etc...

I like to think that if a genie snapped his fingers and made the whole planet completely fine with all sexual orientations a whole lot more than the estimated 10% of the population would be gay and out! Masculine guys aren't rare, their just harder to find!

And I don't quite agree that fem guys more often fall for masculine guys or that masculine guys aren't really into fem guys.
1) ALL guys, even straight ones, have some girl in them, it's just inherent in our nature as gay guys to be not put off by it and let it out more/at all.
2) I think that a person with any combination of fem/masc traits can fall for another person with any combination of fem/masc traits (two queens, to masculine guys, two half/half each, a fem and a masc, two any other combination...)

take this with a grain of salt, but a poll on EC is probably not a very great sample of the gay population as a whole. not saying that our population isn't full of wonderful people, cause if you look at the support threads you'll notice lots of people here are; but we're mostly here because of some insecurity that we have with our sexuality whether it be current or just lingering habit.

now--jumping from A-Z really quickly--that might mean that our preferences in guys here at EC could be skewed to liking more "normal" or masculine guys--call it compensation if you want. anyway, statistical law states that a larger population will lend itself to a more normally distributed curve. therefore in a real study (if one could be conducted) you might find that just as many guys like femmies as masc.

besides, the population doesn't matter, you only need to find one guy that really likes you and there's probably many of those for any given person.

[Owen]

Originally Posted by Starburst

So the ultimate question is: Why should those masculine men be attracted to you and your version of femininity? Why not other feminine guys?

I guess I'm lucky. I am a masculine-acting guy (most of my friends tell me that if I didn't tell them I am gay or it wasn't on Facebook, they would never has suspected) and I'm not particularly picky about guys. I can go for masculine guys, feminine guys, and even flamboyant guys (though I draw the line on that after a certain level). The only thing even remotely feminine about me is my hair, and it's not that feminine for long hair. That's why guys should be attracted to my version of femininity.

[starfish]

Originally Posted by paco

take this with a grain of salt, but a poll on EC is probably not a very great sample of the gay population as a whole.

As part of my volunteer work I helped with a gay mens health survey a few months back.

I'm not going to get into all of the statistical analysis and verification we did. However we believe that it accurately represents gay men over 18 in the Austin area.

I don't have the data in front of me, so I am recalling these figures from memory. So they are not exact. The data showed that masculine gay men are more common than feminine gay men. The ratio was 3:1. Our data also showed that gay men prefer their partner to be masculine. The ratio was somewhere near 3:1 also. Now here is the important part. There was no statically significant correlation between the two.

So what does not mean. An individual's feminine or masculinity traits does is not an indication of the traits said individual seeks in a partner.

In reading the OP see the relation to the age old warning about insisting upon Mr Right. However I contend the OP takes it too far.

[Bryan90]

So the ultimate question is: Why should those masculine men be attracted to you and your version of femininity? Why not other feminine guys?

Lets think about this a little.

Granted, if everyone is attracted to "masculine" men, there's really no reason for "masculine" men to be attracted to "feminine" men.

1. Though for this case, should "feminine" men stop liking "masculine" men? I mean, should "physically unattractive" men stop liking "physically attractive" men? Are we not allowed to like qualities in other men that we do not possess and qualities we deem inferior? That would be pretty sad wouldn't it?

2. "Feminine", "Masculine", "Physically unattractive", "Physically attractive", they all sound rather relative to me don't they? Is there an "absolute femininity". You might be seen as "feminine" to some, and "masculine" to others; or even "feminine" in some scenarios and "masculine" in other scenarios. In that case, a "feminine" guy who is interested in a "masculine" guy might find a "masculine" guy who is either interested in "feminine" guys or perhaps doesn't find him "feminine" at all.

Though I can say as much as I want.. in the end, we're all trying to be happy.. and in the end.. we are all capable of making ourselves happy regardless of what we have - "feminine" or "masculine", desired by many, or desired by none.

Originally Posted by Shevanel

Femininity is a stupid word. >_>

I like homolicious better.

[stratavos]

back on topic:

he should like my femininity because...
1. without it I'm considerably less interesting
2. without it my face wouldn't exist anymore
3. all the right curves in all the right places honey (lol)

(this is probably more of a fun and games kinda response)

[partietraumatic]

there is alot of stereotyping and assumptions made in that post

i'm not feminine, but i'm not masculine either. I like both sports and shopping etc etc. So does that mean neither feminine nor masculine guys are gonna like or be attracted to me? I certainly hope not!!

Also i don't find masculinity an attractive trait, but i don't like over the top femininity either.

[TheEdend]

I think the problem is that we are labeling people waayy too easily.
Like partietraumatic said, most people have both sides in them.

I like a guy that can be a guy but I also like a guy that is not afraid of getting sentimental/cute because he is afraid of being too feminine.

masculine and feminine are just labels and nothing else.

[BasketCase]

I would guess I qualify as a masculine guy and would certainly have no problems with feminine guys (Though I am not sure entirely what that means).

[Lexington]

Because I kick so much ass, that's why. How could you not like me?

Lex

i like a guy with enough feminine qualities that he's cute. extremely masculine guys don't do much more for me than extremely feminine guys, one is hot but not cute, the other is cute but not hot. it's all about balance.