Getting hit on

[4 seat]

So, I always go out with my straight guy friends to straight bars and I always have a blast with them, regardless of where we go, what we do, etc. My friends are pretty good-looking and tend to get girls here and there. I obviously don't try and pick up girls, and all of the guys know why, haha, but the girls don't cuz I'm 100% straight-looking/acting. I don't wanna sound cocky, but every once in awhile I get hit on, and I don't quite know what to think or do, cuz I'm too scared to out myself to them. I'm not that great looking, so if I did, I feel like they would just be like "Meh, ok" and then move on and I could save them some trouble but embarrass myself....

Anyone know what to do when you get hit on by the sex you're not attracted to? I guess this only applies if you're mostly closeted like me.

BTW, went to a bar in Downtown SD last night that had Fat Tire AND Stella AND Stone all on tap, ANNNNNNNNNND PIZZA. It was amazing......

[Connor22]

if/when girls ask me out (believe it or not it has happened!) I just go "I don't roll that way", those girls that get it understand enough to know it isn't going to happen, and those that don't just think you're weird and give up win win

[Owen]

I usually wear some sort of pride paraphernalia when I go out (like a bracelet or this necklace), so I just call attention to that if I am hit on or someone makes a statement that shows that they assume I am straight. If it's the necklace, I'll wave my wrist in the air and do a throat-clearing "mm-hm". If it's the necklace, I'll just move it up and down with my fingers and say, "Yeah, about that..." or something like that.

If you are still in the closet, you may not want to wear any sort of pride paraphernalia, so you'll probably just have to tell them you are gay. If you do it in a humorous or witty way, you won't embarrass yourself. This may also be difficult for you, but with time, it will be easier. It helps to mentally practice whatever you plan to say in such a scenario; that way, when it happens, you won't be caught off guard.

Originally Posted by 4 seat

Anyone know what to do when you get hit on by the sex you're not attracted to? I guess this only applies if you're mostly closeted like me.

One of the downsides of being straight acting is that we need to constantly come out of the closet because our mannerisms don't do that job for us. As such, any advice in this thread applies both to people who are closeted and people who are straight acting, like myself.

[Shevanel]

The only people that hit on me are 40+ year old women who I ring up as a cashier at Sears xD It's horrible xD

Say you're seeing someone. It's what I used to do. Now I just get my friends to tell them.

[s5m1]

I have a lot of fun telling them I am gay. Once you do it a couple of times, you can have a good time with it.

[RaeofLite]

I agree with s5m1. You can score some pretty amusing reactions. And since you're a gay male, most females shouldn't make a bit deal about it. Whereas when you're a gay female, and you out yourself to males, some take it to heart and become angry or they think they can change you. :P

But just mention that you're flattered but that they aren't your type in a polite manner.

[cpt doodles]

thers a girl i know called naimh (neve) and she was the first person i ever told that i thought i might be gay, that was about 10 months ago...
shes still trying to get me lol shes a fighter i'll give her that XD

[4 seat]

Ahahaha, I feel bad, cuz I definitely don't give them any hints that I'm gay, but I also don't say I'm not. I just kinda talkt to them. It's weird.

Also, I think I'd feel bad if I shot them down immediately, cuz I'm actually a pretty good wing man for my friends. I don't know, do most girls think it's kool or weird if a straight guy has a gay best friend? Haha. Hopefully, one day, my friends will return the favor for me and be my wing men. If that day ever comes.....

Also, I just got some pics up. How the eff do I comment on my pictures? It won't let me. Haha. Sorry, I'm kind of a noob.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by 4 seat

Also, I just got some pics up. How the eff do I comment on my pictures? It won't let me. Haha. Sorry, I'm kind of a noob.

Can't comment on pictures (even your own) till you are a full member. Apply when you have over 50 posts and have been active for at least two weeks. If you're trying to respond to someone else's comment on your pictures, it is much more effective to write on the commenter's wall with your response rather than commenting on your own picture as they won't get any notification.

[Austin]

Oh cool I thought non-full members couldn't even put up pictures a while ago.

[RaRa]

Well if you don't just wanna say you're gay, you're gonna have to make excuses. Saying you're already in a relationship is a good one (but beware the peeps who still try even when you say that). But it's probably better to be honest. And if you're gonna turn the girl down, do it fast because it's not fair for her to waste her time when she can potentially hook up with another guy.

[Z3ni]

Originally Posted by Shevanel

The only people that hit on me are 40+ year old women who I ring up as a cashier at Sears xD It's horrible xD

Same here! lol

[Beachboi92]

lol me and my friends where joking about this with me today haha
Alex (girl): I can make your bed rock
Me: no you can't
Aaron (guy): your not man enough for him (i have not tech come out to him but he has heard)
Me: Do you fully grasp the entirety of what you said?
Him: Oh yeah i guess i do now
Alex: So now you know how to react if a girl ever hits on you

So the lesson today is
-Girl hits on you
-response: You are not man enough (or something along those lines haha)

Generally just being witty or nonchalant about it makes it easy in my experience, then again i am very open and out.

[s5m1]

The real issue here may not be figuring out what to say when you are hit on. Rather, it sounds like you are still getting comfortable with being gay. We all go through it at some point. Ask yourself, why are you uncomfortable with a stranger in a bar knowing you are gay? Why does it matter what someone you will likely never see again will know you are gay? I think you will be surprised at how positive the reactions will be if you are open about your sexuality. I know this may sound scary to you. It did to me too. The key here is accepting yourself for who you are. Once you do that, the rest becomes easy.

[The BC]

People always want what they can't/don't have. Human nature. For the last year I've been hit on by some of the most beautiful women and my roommates hate me for it (trust me, I'm not Mr. GQ - but unattainable for women, yes), . I just let it fizzle or give the 'that's nice, but you're not my type' smile and responses. At least you are out! Be a wing man and hook your friends up!!! You have some serious influence as an objective observer. Your friends will appreciate it, haha.

I got hit on by a guy one time when I thought I was straight. I just played it off as them being really nice and made it apparent that I was there for the girls but subtly. That was before - I find myself caring less and less.

But seriously, I can't say too much as I'm not 'out,' yet. Wing man. DO IT

* Absolutely nothing to be embarrassed about. Especially if you are out with friends who know and support you.

[SlickyPants]

I usually just tell her that her dick's an innie and not an outie..

On to the more important part of your post. You had me excited there when you mentioned you found Stone and Fat Tire in SD. Unfortunately I thought you meant South Dakota rather than San Diego which is just a wee bit too far for a beer run. South Dakota is only about 6 hours. Funny story (well, not that funny but I digress): I was on a beer run to Minneapolis one weekend and it was a Sunday so the liquor stores were closed so I had to go to Wisconsin and I passed up a mixed 12er of New Belgium beers (a few Fat Tires were in there) in favour of some Avery and Dogfish Head brewskies. While I don't regret buying the ones I bought, I sort of regret not also buying the New Belgium taster pack. Oh well.

Finally, allow me to just say that I envy anyone living in California because they apparently have an awesome beer selection and bars with decent stuff on tap.

flirt back maybe i'm a little mean, but flirting is just kinda fun. just..dont buy them drinks or get their numbers or anything that might commit you to seeing them again.

or if you don't wanna flirt at all you could bring up politics or psychology or sneeze on them or something and see how long it takes for them to walk away.

[Brandford]

The rare times I do get hit on, I pretend I don't notice which I usually do and if they start getting making little comments then I usually pretend they didn't anything. Of course, then they resort to touching you and thats when I get a little irritated and have to be more forward and ask them not to touch me or just keep moving their hand away. I remember in gym class we were walking on the track and this girl in my class came up next to me talking to me and then I noticed she had her hand on my butt and I had to keep moving it away until she finally apologized and went away. I try not to be mean about it though.

[Roralo]

Tell me about it. I embody all the sweetness that girls want, but the downside is that I'm gay. So when girls hit on me, I just give off the 'friend' vibe to discourage them. I do find it flattering and very funny though. Then I tell them that their shoes are amazing or a comment like that to throw them off without actually saying I'm gay. Hahaha.