Transition

[joezimm48]

Has anyone started out bisexual but then turned totally gay?? Thats whats happening to me and i just wondered how you handle it?

[IsItSo]

I'm not a professional or whatever so don't take what I say to too seriously, but you probably never really were bisexual. Until puberty, people really don't feel sexual attraction. Because of societal norms, you were probably subconciously (or conciously, I don't know your whole story) pressured into liking girls - not necessarily due to homophobia or whatever, but just because that's what's expected. When you began puberty and first began to feel sexual attraction, you realized that you were attracted to men, and you're gradually realizing that you really aren't attracted to women. Before one begins to feel actual sexual attraction, one can be tricked or trick oneself into being attracting to anything really.

Someone more knowledgeable, please provide feedback. I don't want to go screwing up the youth!

[Darkwing65]

Good question. I often wonder if i truly am bi and not Gay.

[Phoenix]

I think it's often due to something I've seen Chip talk about-the 5 stages of grief. It's like the bargaining stage (I think) where you're like, "Well I might like the same sex, but I still like the opposite sex too." The further along you get in your discovery of yourself you realize you really had no interest in the opposite sex at all, you were just using it as a way to keep your grip on being "normal"; or in actuality, society's heterosexist version of normal.

[Zach1992]

Bisexuality seems to be a common stop before pulling into the gay station.

[Revan]

I believe in the existence of both bisexuality and homosexuality. I think you however are one or the other frankly. If you wind up gay, then you never were bi. But there are some people who stay bi their entire lives. That's just my opinion.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by Phoenix

I think it's often due to something I've seen Chip talk about-the 5 stages of grief. It's like the bargaining stage (I think) where you're like, "Well I might like the same sex, but I still like the opposite sex too." The further along you get in your discovery of yourself you realize you really had no interest in the opposite sex at all, you were just using it as a way to keep your grip on being "normal"; or in actuality, society's heterosexist version of normal.

Derek and SexualTeen both nailed it; the "bisexual" label, at least for some, is part of the 5 stages of loss, in this case the loss of the "straight" identity and so the bisexuality sort of serves as a bridge of sorts from the view of self as straight to the view of self as gay.

That said, there are plenty of people who are genuinely bisexual, and depending on how we define it, Kinsey says 90% of people are bisexual, in that only 10% are Kinsey 0 or Kinsey 6.

Describing ourselves as bisexual is safer and less threatening, and many times, when we're trying to cushion the blow to family or friends, by saying we're bi, we can allow them to have some time to come to terms with the fact that we may not be completely straight.

looking at your age, something is bound to be changing. i remember liking girls when i was in elementary school, and i noticed a couple guys once or twice. then at the beginning of middle school i started looking at guys more and by high school i didn't even want to look at girls.

i don't honestly know what happened in that whole period, but i guess it doesnt really matter in the end. it's not any more difficult being gay than being bi i'm sure, at least people know that gay exists. i have friends that still think bi is just a stepping stone to gay.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Chip

Describing ourselves as bisexual is safer and less threatening, and many times, when we're trying to cushion the blow to family or friends, by saying we're bi, we can allow them to have some time to come to terms with the fact that we may not be completely straight.

This is one of those "this is completely true yet completely false" statements. I know that doesn't make sense but I don't really know how else to describe it? I understand how others can see that it'd be easier to be bi, and that it wouldn't be "as bad" as being gay to others, and to themselves. But coming out as bi is a whole different barrel of monkeys, which really makes the whole "Coming out as bi is easier" thing moot in a way. Well at least in a practical sense.

I guess its like the whole "I want straight hair" when you have curly hair and "I want curly hair" when you have straight hair thing. Both sides want the opposite and don't really understand how the opposite side can want what they so desperately don't want.

It's confusing as hell. But people still do it. *shrug*