What if? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

27th Apr 2010, 08:26 PM

You lived in a place where there was no real gay community and the guys you could meet in that town were only looking for sex, not a relationship like you wanted....would you look at other places within an hour or two away and consider moving away if you met the right person.....?

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This is theoretical right now of course, havent met anyone serious yet

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I guess basically what im asking is would you relocate for someone you love and when would you decide if you would relocate?

mattypants · 27th Apr 2010, 08:32 PM

for a relationship? i'd consider... though, an hour or two away can mean different things distance wise... here, an hour or two can still be within a 30 mile radius sometimes

Quote:

I guess basically what im asking is would you relocate for someone you love and when would you decide if you would relocate?

think i unread that part... but i would when the conditions where right for both parties

27th Apr 2010, 08:42 PM

Well with about 100 miles of me are several metropolitan areas where there IS a gay community

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Which 100 miles is about 1-1/2 to 2 hour drive

RaeofLite · 27th Apr 2010, 08:45 PM

...Put it this way. I moved from one place where there was sort've a gay community, to a place where there is a nonexistant gay community... Let's put it this way, I'm only here to save up money to move to a place where there is some gay community/kindship happening. Die Homophobia, die!!

27th Apr 2010, 08:47 PM

nice

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I guess I should clarify some - Ive been talking to a guy for a while and things seem to be going well, we haven't talked about meeting quite yet, but it just hit me that this is the real deal, if things do work that is, and that he lives elsewhere, which brought me to the question, if down the road we did meet and fall in love, would I move...

27th Apr 2010, 10:08 PM

I'm still young and not out yet, but in the place where I live, there is no such community. There's a GSA, but I'm too scared to join. I'm still trying to hide my secret from others until I am satisfied with myself. I want to be strong, fearless, and able to socialize. I am none of those things, and I fear that it will take my years to accept myself and others.

4 seat · 27th Apr 2010, 10:21 PM

I live in a place where there's no real gay community. Laguna Beach kinda has some, I guess. Moving somewhere where there's no gay community would be no prob. Moving other places might be harder. But if it's for someone I love then it would be hard, but I'd do it. I'd do anything for someone I love. Just gotta find that someone, you know?

28th Apr 2010, 03:55 AM

I'd move away for a relationship. No doubt about it.

Either way I am going to move away. :P

28th Apr 2010, 04:04 AM

if i lived in a place that had nothing to offer really i would definitly travel. i am lucky to have a car so would be able to go elsewhere easily. depends on if it was worthwhile going i guess. right now im actually looking outside my own city.

Metaphysical · 28th Apr 2010, 06:27 AM

Lol The city I live in is pretty much like that.

All the males seem to think with whats between their legs, as apposed to what counts.

X_x;

British Lad · 28th Apr 2010, 08:49 AM

Gay commuaty, ha, what gay communaty i dont think there is even one were I life because of all the bloody homophoes. I need to move I think when i leave home i might try and get a place in london.

EddyT · 28th Apr 2010, 09:25 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by British Lad

...I need to move I think when i leave home i might try and get a place in london.

Hmm London is expensive xD you really wan't to go there? We could go together

fragomatrick · 28th Apr 2010, 10:08 AM

I live in a place where there is absolutely no gay population ....and it sucks to be alone.. so basically what i am saying is that i fell your pain ... and i have no suggestions!

starfish · 28th Apr 2010, 06:14 PM

Sure, you can always move back.

I moved about 2 years ago for that job that I now absolutely loathe. I'm currently looking for another job. Best part is that now I can move anywhere in the country. I have already gotten over the fear of moving away from home and I have nothing keeping me here.

28th Apr 2010, 09:20 PM

Sometimes i kind of feel like a freak, living in this part of the country, but thanks guys, you make me feel better

starfish · 29th Apr 2010, 08:17 AM

What part of Oklahoma are you in? My parents live up in Northeast Oklahoma near Grand Lake.

It might not be easy to find, but there are other gay people where you are.

+ YouTube Video

someguy82 · 29th Apr 2010, 01:47 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelinsoul21

You lived in a place where there was no real gay community and the guys you could meet in that town were only looking for sex, not a relationship like you wanted....would you look at other places within an hour or two away and consider moving away if you met the right person.....?

----------

This is theoretical right now of course, havent met anyone serious yet

----------

I guess basically what im asking is would you relocate for someone you love and when would you decide if you would relocate?

I live in a place like that, and honestly, it sucks hard.

I generally do drive an hour or two away for dating (or just hanging out in general with other gay guys), and I plan to relocate the moment I'm done with law school and taking the bar.

British Lad · 29th Apr 2010, 02:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EddyT

Quote:

Originally Posted by British Lad

...I need to move I think when i leave home i might try and get a place in london.

Hmm London is expensive xD you really wan't to go there? We could go together

Lucky my Dad (technaly his wife)owns a place in london, I could ask him if I could crash there for a bit. And if your coming with me, your on the sofa coz it is a one bedroom place am i dont real fancy you m8, soz

SlickyPants · 29th Apr 2010, 10:34 PM

It is really hard for me to answer that because I've never lived in a small city or town in my post-pubescent life so I really have no idea what it would be like. I guess my only answer would be that I wouldn't move to a place like that to begin with but that wasn't what you were asking.

There are so many variables to take into account that I'd need Deep Thought to calculate the outcome but I'll take a guess. I would say that I would move to a bigger city whenever I was financially able but being gay wouldn't be the only reason. I think there are many more reasons to do so including employment opportunities, entertainment, recreation, shopping, etc.

I suppose I am a little biased because I do live in a decent-sized city and I take for granted some of the things that you just don't see in smaller places. (Concerts, sporting events, shopping malls and so on) Not to mention there is a nice gay community where I live.

Harve · 30th Apr 2010, 04:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Metaphysical

Lol The city I live in is pretty much like that.

All the males seem to think with whats between their legs, as apposed to what counts.

X_x;

Generalising a bit, but i'd agree with said city D:. Tbh, there isn't even an under-50's community in my surrounding villages, straight/gay w/e.

27th Apr 2010, 08:26 PM	#1
travelinsoul21 Guest Posts: n/a	What if? You lived in a place where there was no real gay community and the guys you could meet in that town were only looking for sex, not a relationship like you wanted....would you look at other places within an hour or two away and consider moving away if you met the right person.....? ---------- This is theoretical right now of course, havent met anyone serious yet ---------- I guess basically what im asking is would you relocate for someone you love and when would you decide if you would relocate?

27th Apr 2010, 08:42 PM	#3
travelinsoul21 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? Well with about 100 miles of me are several metropolitan areas where there IS a gay community ---------- Which 100 miles is about 1-1/2 to 2 hour drive

27th Apr 2010, 08:45 PM	#4
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: What if? ...Put it this way. I moved from one place where there was sort've a gay community, to a place where there is a nonexistant gay community... Let's put it this way, I'm only here to save up money to move to a place where there is some gay community/kindship happening. Die Homophobia, die!! __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

27th Apr 2010, 08:47 PM	#5
travelinsoul21 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? nice ---------- I guess I should clarify some - Ive been talking to a guy for a while and things seem to be going well, we haven't talked about meeting quite yet, but it just hit me that this is the real deal, if things do work that is, and that he lives elsewhere, which brought me to the question, if down the road we did meet and fall in love, would I move...

27th Apr 2010, 10:08 PM	#6
AlexPatrickMorrissey Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? I'm still young and not out yet, but in the place where I live, there is no such community. There's a GSA, but I'm too scared to join. I'm still trying to hide my secret from others until I am satisfied with myself. I want to be strong, fearless, and able to socialize. I am none of those things, and I fear that it will take my years to accept myself and others.

27th Apr 2010, 10:21 PM	#7
4 seat EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Irvine, CA Age: 25 Posts: 320 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: What if? I live in a place where there's no real gay community. Laguna Beach kinda has some, I guess. Moving somewhere where there's no gay community would be no prob. Moving other places might be harder. But if it's for someone I love then it would be hard, but I'd do it. I'd do anything for someone I love. Just gotta find that someone, you know?

28th Apr 2010, 03:55 AM	#8
Lady Gaga Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? I'd move away for a relationship. No doubt about it. Either way I am going to move away. :P

28th Apr 2010, 04:04 AM	#9
gaz83 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? if i lived in a place that had nothing to offer really i would definitly travel. i am lucky to have a car so would be able to go elsewhere easily. depends on if it was worthwhile going i guess. right now im actually looking outside my own city.

28th Apr 2010, 06:27 AM	#10
Metaphysical Lets-get-metaphysical Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: England - Derby Age: 21 Posts: 15 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: What if? Lol The city I live in is pretty much like that. All the males seem to think with whats between their legs, as apposed to what counts. X_x;

28th Apr 2010, 08:49 AM	#11
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: What if? Gay commuaty, ha, what gay communaty i dont think there is even one were I life because of all the bloody homophoes. I need to move I think when i leave home i might try and get a place in london. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

28th Apr 2010, 10:08 AM	#13
fragomatrick Perpetually Bored! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Age: 21 Posts: 732 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: What if? I live in a place where there is absolutely no gay population ....and it sucks to be alone.. so basically what i am saying is that i fell your pain ... and i have no suggestions! __________________ The man who smiles when things go wrong has thought of someone to blame it on. - Robert Bloch

28th Apr 2010, 06:14 PM	#14
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,108 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: What if? Sure, you can always move back. I moved about 2 years ago for that job that I now absolutely loathe. I'm currently looking for another job. Best part is that now I can move anywhere in the country. I have already gotten over the fear of moving away from home and I have nothing keeping me here. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

28th Apr 2010, 09:20 PM	#15
travelinsoul21 Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What if? Sometimes i kind of feel like a freak, living in this part of the country, but thanks guys, you make me feel better

29th Apr 2010, 10:34 PM	#19
SlickyPants EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Winnipeg, MB, Canada Age: 26 Posts: 542 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: What if? It is really hard for me to answer that because I've never lived in a small city or town in my post-pubescent life so I really have no idea what it would be like. I guess my only answer would be that I wouldn't move to a place like that to begin with but that wasn't what you were asking. There are so many variables to take into account that I'd need Deep Thought to calculate the outcome but I'll take a guess. I would say that I would move to a bigger city whenever I was financially able but being gay wouldn't be the only reason. I think there are many more reasons to do so including employment opportunities, entertainment, recreation, shopping, etc. I suppose I am a little biased because I do live in a decent-sized city and I take for granted some of the things that you just don't see in smaller places. (Concerts, sporting events, shopping malls and so on) Not to mention there is a nice gay community where I live.