Just a phase

[Connor22]

can I just ask a genuine question because this just hit me, People whom I have come out to keep saying that I am going through a phase, so can I ask does anyone actually know of someone who went though a "gay phase"?

[Zach1992]

Nope. Usually a 'gay phase' is for some one who thinks they are 'cured' of their gayness.

[csm123]

hi,good question?

My own thoughts on this are that some bi people may date the same sex but end up marrying the opposite sex,often to get the easy way out of family issues etc.
This in turn leaves others to think that he/she has grown out of that phase,so anyone with same sex attraction will grow out of it.

PS no offence to the bi's,good luck to them.

[Phoenix]

I do know of one. One of my good friends really really wants to be a lesbian. She frequently wolf whistles at women and would love to be sexually attracted to them. When she was in her teens there was a time when she legitimately thought she was gay and tried several times to sleep with women but she couldn't orgasm and concluded she was straight. So I'm sure it genuinely does happen but most of the time gayness isn't a phase.

phoenix has it in his wee orientation bit !! gayness is constant, straightness varies. so therefore i think that being straight is just a phase.

[Bryan90]

Well I suppose it is a possibility that for some people, sexuality is fluid.

Statistically wise, not many people I know identify as straight subsequent to having identified as gay in the past.

Though there is always a possibility that we are the so lucky few with fluid sexuality.

So whenever ppl tell me "maybe it's a phase", I usually go "Well.. there is a chance that it's a phase.. but since I am in one, might as well live the best of it"

[Chip]

Remember that only 10% of the population, based on the best data we have, is 100% straight or 100% gay, so the balance are somewhere on the continuum.

As such, it's quite possible for a guy or girl who is 90% straight to date someone of the same sex, genuinely be in love with them, and later fall in love with and marry a person of the same sex, or for a 90% gay person to fall in love with and marry an opposite sex person.

But... the *majority* of people seem to have relatively stable sexuality over time, so my sense is that very, very few people who are gay can actually be said to be "going through a phase."

[Revan]

Originally Posted by Phoenix

I do know of one. One of my good friends really really wants to be a lesbian. She frequently wolf whistles at women and would love to be sexually attracted to them. When she was in her teens there was a time when she legitimately thought she was gay and tried several times to sleep with women but she couldn't orgasm and concluded she was straight. So I'm sure it genuinely does happen but most of the time gayness isn't a phase.

See this is why I have a problem with the youth of today (though I know I'm still young). They all are saying they're bi just so they can experiment. But really, they're straight or gay and just keep saying bi even though they know who they are. (Tho no offense to those who are truly bisexual, I'm just saying a lot of teens I know and even don't know are saying they're bi when they really aren't and it's why many people are believing bisexuality doesn't exist -_-)

[Chandra]

Life is just a phase.

I think people get this "gay phase" idea because of things like the whole gay-until-graduation phenomenon - people who are maybe bi-curious or sexually fluid, who decide to experiment for a while but then get "serious" and return to hetero relationships once they've satisfied their curiosity.

[SlickyPants]

When I was really young (maybe 9-12) I had a friend and we messed around a bit. I haven't really talked with him for like 10 years but apparently he is married to some woman and has a kid if his facebook profile is accurate.

I really do think it was a phase but not a gay one necessarily. More of a going through puberty phase and the curiosity getting the better of us. (Although at the time I was fairly certain that I was into guys rather than gals).

[Revan]

The Kinsey scale also comes into effect here too...

[fanfreek]

Parents just can't stop themselves from using this sentence... "It's just a phase." Well, not in my case. Heh.

[Beachboi92]

I am a firm believer in the idea that sexuality is fluid to some extent. We know that it is at least a combination of genetic and environmental factors so we can conclude that people will land in all sorts of different places (think Kinsey scale). Sure there are some people who experiment and then never touch it again because they find they prefer it the other way, there are people who are gay experiment but keep it hidden and then go and marry a women because they are afraid of being out, there are bi people who find they are happiest with a person of the opposite gender or same gender (same with Pan), there are all kinds of people who can be viewed as "going through a phase" by people who do not really understand the dynamics of sexuality.

Ultimately this existence of "the phase" is a result of an ingrained idea of a "hetero vs homo" mentality (the same one that results in people being ignorant enough to tell bi people to "choose a side"). The truth is (imo and what i feel most people will take on as a view if LGBT people are ever to be truly viewed as 100% equal in society) there is just sexuality. People are sexual, it is based in urges and attraction and generally things we do not control. It varies from person to person and ultimately i think we will find more and more people taking on the views and ideas of pansexuality as time progresses (where it is about the person and their sex does not really matter or make a difference it is just what you are attracted to).

If you get what i am saying idk i have been up to long xD

[TheEdend]

Originally Posted by SlickyPants

When I was really young (maybe 9-12) I had a friend and we messed around a bit. I haven't really talked with him for like 10 years but apparently he is married to some woman and has a kid if his facebook profile is accurate.

I really do think it was a phase but not a gay one necessarily. More of a going through puberty phase and the curiosity getting the better of us. (Although at the time I was fairly certain that I was into guys rather than gals).

I had the same thing happened with a couple of friends and me. When we were around 12-13 we used to mess around during sleep over and just random dares. I was the only one that turned out actually liking guys xD My other friends were just playing and being curious.