Getting REALLY Pissed Off at Gay Men

Sexuality doesn't affect the tendency to cheat.

 

weird, because in one of the scandinavian countries, they found gay men have a lower rate of divorce and most heterosexuals, but gay woman have the highest rate of divorce of all.

 

Question where are you meeting said men?

 

Having never been in a sexual relationship myself, I can only conjecture on this topic, but I will still try. What I know is that our society (American society; I don't know whether it is different where you live) raises men and women to have different attitudes towards sex. Women are constantly told while growing up that they should never let a man force them into having sex, while men are told that if a woman says no, that's it, sex isn't going to happen. The reverse never happens: men are rarely if ever told that they can say no to a woman, and women are rarely if ever told that if a man says no, that's it, sex isn't going to happen. Thus the decision of when sex happens ultimately lies in the hands of the woman, while men are conditioned and pressured to accept sex whenever offered.

How does this apply to gay relationships? Well, put two men together, who have probably never been taught how to say no to sex (unless they had really good parents), and if they are both horny, they are likely to have sex. After all, they have been conditioned by their society to have sex if it is offered, so if they both want to have sex, there's no woman in the equation to stop them. Thus I think that men are more likely to sleep around because they aren't encouraged to say no to sex, while women are, and if you take the woman out of the equation, sex simply becomes more likely.

There's also the evolutionary aspect of it: we are biologically conditioned to spread our genes as far and wide as possible. Such widespread procreation allows for more diversity in the species, and diversity makes survival more likely. Because women are taught to be more prudent about having sex, I'd imagine that they are more able to sublimate those urges than men are. As such, take a woman out of the equation, and the desire to spread our seed far and wide goes unchecked.

Ultimately, though, even though society and evolution may be the cause of men's inability to commit, the true reason behind it is the weakness of character of the men who cheat. If women are able to not say yes to sex whenever it is offered, there's no reason we can't, even though our society has raised us to believe we shouldn't. After all, our society raised us to believe we should date women, but we ignore that, so why can't we ignore the pressure to sleep around? In the end, I think men cheat because they would rather take the easy way out than overcome the societal pressures and evolutionary drives that lead them to do so.

 

Yeah... I am guilty as charged... Though not sexually though... I just tend to get bored of the person after like a few months...

I am trying to figure out why

People say it's just because I haven't found the right one yet... :S

 

I have not been in a relationship yet but I will try monogames relsionship with him and If he cheats I will show him the door.

 

Good question. Another good question is what kind of men do you usually go for.

It's difficult to fix others so that they will remain committed, but one thing that you do have some control over is who you are going for and what kind of relationships you are getting into. Try to see if there is anything that you can change to increase the likelihood of finding a committed loving relationship. They do exist, I promise.


(I just wanted to make it clear that I am not trying to put any of the blame on you for the problems you have had with relationships. I know I am saying to look what is going on with you, but I don't mean to imply that you are doing anything wrong or are the one at fault. Given the information provided though, this advice just seemed practical.)

 

Many young people just enjoy playing the field. And many gay men of all ages feel that monogamy is an artificial construct, left over from centuries of patriarchal uncertainty. They see absolutely no reason to "settle down", and once in relationships, they see absolutely no need to make them exclusive. They consider sex to be a fun activity, nothing more, and therefore consider it silly to restrict it to one person for the rest of their lives.

This isn't to say they're right and you're wrong. You just have different takes on it. And the real issue isn't that these guys you're dating aren't monogamous - it's that you think they are. How do you keep it from happening? You check beforehand. You make it clear that you're looking to get into a mutually monogamous relationship, and if they're not interested in that, they're better off looking elsewhere. You also don't jump into bed as soon as you meet. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but if you're looking for someone who wants to be committed, I'm betting those that push things straight towards the bedroom are going to be less likely to be so.

Lex

 

Oh my gosh I know what you mean that happens to me I hate it

 

I want a older guy because not only are they more likely to be mature but they are still really cute but I am waiting to be 18 to go after them ......I had this happen 2 tines and I still haven't "been" with a guy

 

look you cant be blamed for that one guy who was in a realtion ship you shouldn't feel bad he was a douche for not telling you. you'll one day find that certain some one you just need to be patient

 

In my life I've had the opposite experience. It's the female homosexuals who I watch cheat and have the shortest relationships. While I've watched many relationships explode, male-male or female-female it is usually around a select few males that those relationships seem to fail the most. I can think of more monogamous male couples than female.

 

Very nicely put. I heard this theory before and it makes sense to me. Alas, I agree with Revan in a sense. It seems it is more difficult to find a gay guy that is content with a monogamous relationship at that age. Don't know if it's immaturity or whether they are just in that stage of their life where they wanna have fun (i.e. F:***:ck around) .

 

just my thoughts, but you are complaining about guys sleeping around yet you had sex with a guy you apparently didn't know too well?

I think that is the problem right there. You are looking for a "real" relationship, but you aren't acting like it.