What just happend? Where are the gay guys?

[The BC]

I'm out! and really loving life. BUT, now that I am out I feel like I can't find a gay man anywhere . How does that work?

I guess it's time to go to the gay bar?

Where did you guys meet your significant other? How did it go down?

[Mirko]

I met the guy that I dated for a short period of time at a LGBT social event in town. After that we saw each other at other social events a couple of more times before we got together and try to date.

I have never been able to strike up a conversation with someone at a gay bar. I find it a bit too cliquey. I think another way to meet someone would be by joining a LGBT support or social group. Some groups will have weekly or monthly social events. Although you have usually 'regulars' attend these events, you will often find that quite a few people do attend them.

[TheEdend]

I met my boyfriend while I was competing in BPA. We had talked before in school, but I never really got to know him because we both have different groups of friends. I actually met him the week I had "decided" to come out to my school. It turned out that he had always known but was waiting for me to come out xD I came out to the whole school later that week when ryan, my boyfriend, came over my table,kissed me like it was nothing and sat down. The faces were priceless haha

I lost states so I wasn't able to go to nationals. Ryan went though and he said that it seemed like 50% of the guys there were gay xD

[hairdye]

Originally Posted by TheEdend

I met my boyfriend while I was competing in BPA. We had talked before in school, but I never really got to know him because we both have different groups of friends. I actually met him the week I had "decided" to come out to my school. It turned out that he had always known but was waiting for me to come out xD I came out to the whole school later that week when ryan, my boyfriend, came over my table,kissed me like it was nothing and sat down. The faces were priceless haha

I lost states so I wasn't able to go to nationals. Ryan went though and he said that it seemed like 50% of the guys there were gay xD

thats a cute story.


I met my boyfriend at a gay bar. Which is odd cause I'm usually not the type to go around meeting people at gay bars. My friend Aaron however is. Biggest social butterfly I've ever known. He introduced me to his friend Mikey, Mikey found me on facebook. A week later, first date. Magic. Haha

[Austin]

Don't have any boyfriend at the moment - but I've met a few guys from online and met them in person.

[malachite]

something similar happened to me, gay guys used love hanging around me when I was in the closet, but now that I'm out its like they all evorpated

[Emberstone]

I would do the social club route... except in my area, the gay mens social clubs are filled with 50-70 year olds.

[British Lad]

I have not got a Fucking clue were are all the Gay guys are nere were i live

[The BC]

The funny thing is there are actually a lot of gay men where I live. I think I broke my gaydar when I came out, or at least it is in retreat and scared.

I haven't actually gone out to the gay bar yet (post coming out). I can manage in the bar situation but overall I've always thought that I'd never meet my SO at a bar. I guess it's a possibility and I should get over it. I should also man up and ask this good looking guy I see down town if he'd want to grab some dinner some time - I hope he's gay, haha.

How about you folks that have been partnered for many years?

I have a friend who is trying to set me up on a blind date. Her, 'The BC, if he were straight and I got him into my room, I would never let him leave. He's your type and he is gay, and I am totally jealous.' But, he lives in a different city but I think I'm going to hit him up next time I visit.

[Filip]

Well, first of all, and as a general disclaimer: I haven't had a single date in my life yet. So I'm not speaking from personal experience here.

But, looking at my friends, especially the gay ones, they never met their boyfriends in bars. None of them are exactly the bar-hopping types, and they weren't looking for the bar-hopping types. Looking for non-bar-hopping types in bars is kind of self-defeating

So, where did they find someone? Mostly in one of two ways:

- By joining a club. Not even necessarily a gay club, but just doing something what they liked doing. By doing that in company, you meet other people who have similar interests. And some of them might be gay, and interested.

- By letting it known to friends that they were gay. If friends know, they occasionally point to other gay friends of theirs. Friends of friends usually have at least one or two things in comon. And sometimes things develop from there.

Both, of course, depend on being fairly out. And on putting yourself out there to meet new people, straight or gay. Because by knowing people you meet more people. And the more you meet, the higher the odds that it will click with at least one of them.

Don't let my first comment on bars discourage you. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, and maybe you will meet interesting people there, if only to have as close acquaintances.
And I think that taking your friend up on that blind date might be a good idea. Even if he isn't relationship material, meeting more gay people is always good!

Originally Posted by TheEdend

I met my boyfriend while I was competing in BPA. We had talked before in school, but I never really got to know him because we both have different groups of friends. I actually met him the week I had "decided" to come out to my school. It turned out that he had always known but was waiting for me to come out xD I came out to the whole school later that week when ryan, my boyfriend, came over my table,kissed me like it was nothing and sat down. The faces were priceless haha

I lost states so I wasn't able to go to nationals. Ryan went though and he said that it seemed like 50% of the guys there were gay xD

omg, i hate you so much right now. i want one just like that

[Revan]

Yeah there's like no place for me to meet in St. THomas sadly. It's kinda a dead zone for gays and like I've stated before, the gays of London....many are promiscuous.

[The BC]

I went out tonight and had a blast. I was shocked, after making this thread all I could see where gay men everywhere - one hit on my straight friend (hilarious). About that local guy - yeah, going to ask him out.

[Mitchell]

my boyfriend left me.... but I met him at GSA (gay straight alliance) at school.