Push aside the piles, Waste away your whiles, Listen for my whisper, Can you hear me, sister? Hidden well within my pages, Lurks the wisdom of the sages. Search with your blind eyes, Look through all the lies. Can you keep a secret? It's one I can't regret. Will you shut this worn door and walk away? Or are you actually here to stay? Don't leave me because I'm strange, Something well beyond your range. It's not my fault you know, It's not the path I'd go! It's not my choice to make, Who you love; who you hate. Please don't leave me behind, Don't hate me for what you find. *************************************************************** Please and thanks!
I like it May I ask what its about? I can get an idea, but I'm just curious. Its a very nice poem, in my opinion. I used to write some poems myself, but I haven't in a while.
Oh wow. That has deep meaning. I rarely find a poem that I can "fall into". Books, yes. Movies, yes. Games, sometimes. But I actually got lost in that while reading it!!! That is an amazing poem!!!
The rhyming is pretty good; amazing compared to most amateur poets I've read. The rhythm mostly flows but there are a few places where it breaks and stumbles a bit. The imagery is good if a little cliched, but my favourite point in the poem is the repetition of the start of those three lines in a row. The rhyming works, the metre is spot on, but unfortunately you go from da-DAH x 3 to da-da-DAH x 2 in the next line which I feel can be a bit jarring. However, I'm just splitting hairs. Well done though. It's a solid poem and a great job for someone pretty young.
I was listening to beyonce... I had to stop the song and read it again. This is very wonderful. I'll be more careful with what song I choose to listen to while reading it.
Thank you all so much for your comments. I actually had forgotten I'd posted it so it was a nice surprise! I'll be sure to post more sometime! XD
