Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

GoinStag · 17th Jul 2010, 02:44 PM

I hear this a lot when a guy will come out as gay and girls will say "ohhh what a waste". I've heard this before many times but I didn't actually think about it 'till I was watch Queer As Folk (UK) and someone got offended at being called "a waste". Like a waste of what? Idk I just didn't really realize how offensive it sounds 'till now I guess.

**Chip** · 17th Jul 2010, 02:46 PM

honestly i'm not offended by it. I think the idea is "What a waste/shame that this beautiful guy/girl can't be with me because s/he is gay"

I've often joked with my friends "what a waste" that some hot guy is straight... and sometimes even to the hot guy in question, if it's someone I know who would take it in the way it's intended

I don't see a problem with it, but then, I don't see a problem with most gay jokes or stereotypes, because many of them have their basis in truth.

RaeofLite · 17th Jul 2010, 02:50 PM

I hear it all the time from guys. That or they try to "turn me hetero" saying things like, "you've never had me... I could change your mind." *eyeroll* People are ignorant and don't realize we don't choose who we are attracted to.

Black Cat · 17th Jul 2010, 02:56 PM

I've never been called a waste in that context before. I seriously thought that this thread was about being called a waste in the other sense, like doing nothing. I get the latter so often it doesn't faze me anymore.

I can see where it would be offensive to some, but personally I'd find it flattering because that means there are people (ladies, but people nonetheless) out there who would get with me were I into them.

Revan · 17th Jul 2010, 03:06 PM

Big deal. (sarcasm). My best friend says it all the time mainly because her and I are so alike, we really would make an amazing couple if it weren't the fact I'm gay and all lol

starfish · 17th Jul 2010, 03:18 PM

I have used a similar line before when I find out a good looking guy is straight. I usually say what shame. I've never really thought about it being derogatory. I guess I can see how someone could see that.

Davy · 18th Jul 2010, 04:49 AM

In actual fact i think it's more of a compliment, it's more girls wishing you were straight because you are a good looking guy.

Katherine · 18th Jul 2010, 11:26 AM

I get that from guys a lot. It feels like they're implying that just because they're guys, they're entitled to me or something, and if they can't have me then I'm not worth anything. Sort of like they're completely ignoring what would make ME happy, you know?

I know most people consider it a compliment, but it kinda annoys me. I dunno. Simply saying, "You're really cute, and if you were straight I would want to date you" just seems like it'd sound a lot less offensive than "Oh, you're gay? Ugh, what a waste."

**Lexington** · 18th Jul 2010, 11:29 AM

No one's ever called me a waste. If they did, I'd just say "I know several gay guys who don't think I'm a waste in the slightest."

Lex

malachite · 20th Jul 2010, 08:43 AM

I've heard it once or twice. i know it isn't meant to malicious, actually its kind of a commpliment, so I don't take offense

kettleoffish · 20th Jul 2010, 09:26 AM

I'd punch somebody if they said that to me.

British Lad · 20th Jul 2010, 03:04 PM

I once heard It the other way around. It was on Right Sayed Freds camp classics on a music channel, There had just played shaner twanes ”man, I feel like a woman”. And one of the presenters who was from Right sayed Fred sayed about the male gutarists ”petty there straight” lol

chrisg · 20th Jul 2010, 05:41 PM

Yeah, I take being called a waste as a compliment! I guess that speaks to my vanity, haha. And I sure hope not to be a waste to gay men...

17th Jul 2010, 02:44 PM	#1
GoinStag I'm straight now............sikeeee Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guy fetish Out Status: Parents, siblings, and therapist Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan Age: 18 Posts: 1,485 Join Date: May 2010	Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I hear this a lot when a guy will come out as gay and girls will say "ohhh what a waste". I've heard this before many times but I didn't actually think about it 'till I was watch Queer As Folk (UK) and someone got offended at being called "a waste". Like a waste of what? Idk I just didn't really realize how offensive it sounds 'till now I guess. __________________ *I've been thinking 'bout this all day long, Never felt a feeling quite this strong...I can't believe how much it turns me on, Just to be your man...*

17th Jul 2010, 02:46 PM	#2
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,577 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? honestly i'm not offended by it. I think the idea is "What a waste/shame that this beautiful guy/girl can't be with me because s/he is gay" I've often joked with my friends "what a waste" that some hot guy is straight... and sometimes even to the hot guy in question, if it's someone I know who would take it in the way it's intended I don't see a problem with it, but then, I don't see a problem with most gay jokes or stereotypes, because many of them have their basis in truth.

17th Jul 2010, 02:50 PM	#3
RaeofLite I've got the moves like Jagger Full Member Gender: ♀ Orientation: Sapphicly inclined Out Status: My closet is for clothes! Location: BC, Canada Age: 23 Posts: 3,111 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I hear it all the time from guys. That or they try to "turn me hetero" saying things like, "you've never had me... I could change your mind." eyeroll People are ignorant and don't realize we don't choose who we are attracted to. __________________ People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." -Bonnie Jean Wasmund (and the lesbians)

17th Jul 2010, 02:56 PM	#4
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I've never been called a waste in that context before. I seriously thought that this thread was about being called a waste in the other sense, like doing nothing. I get the latter so often it doesn't faze me anymore. I can see where it would be offensive to some, but personally I'd find it flattering because that means there are people (ladies, but people nonetheless) out there who would get with me were I into them. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

17th Jul 2010, 03:06 PM	#5
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? Big deal. (sarcasm). My best friend says it all the time mainly because her and I are so alike, we really would make an amazing couple if it weren't the fact I'm gay and all lol __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

17th Jul 2010, 03:18 PM	#6
starfish This space for lease. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: I like guys Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Hippie Town, Alberta of the US Age: 31 Posts: 2,108 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I have used a similar line before when I find out a good looking guy is straight. I usually say what shame. I've never really thought about it being derogatory. I guess I can see how someone could see that. __________________ All the problems of the world could be settled easily if men were only willing to think. The trouble is that men very often resort to all sorts of devices in order not to think, because thinking is such hard work. --Thomas J. Watson

18th Jul 2010, 04:49 AM	#7
Davy I like panda's! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Scotland (That's the bit with hills & rain) Posts: 414 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? In actual fact i think it's more of a compliment, it's more girls wishing you were straight because you are a good looking guy. __________________ Why is it that, as a culture, we are more comfortable seeing two men holding guns than holding hands? Ernest Gaines

18th Jul 2010, 11:26 AM	#8
Katherine Professional Cuddler Full Member Gender: 75% female Orientation: 110% gay Out Status: 98% out Location: The land of rednecks and pine trees (Georgia) Age: 19 Posts: 1,745 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I get that from guys a lot. It feels like they're implying that just because they're guys, they're entitled to me or something, and if they can't have me then I'm not worth anything. Sort of like they're completely ignoring what would make ME happy, you know? I know most people consider it a compliment, but it kinda annoys me. I dunno. Simply saying, "You're really cute, and if you were straight I would want to date you" just seems like it'd sound a lot less offensive than "Oh, you're gay? Ugh, what a waste." __________________ Overly emotional five-foot-tall vegetarian gamer girl who procrastinates way too much. Loves food, art, cats, and making people smile.

18th Jul 2010, 11:29 AM	#9
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? No one's ever called me a waste. If they did, I'd just say "I know several gay guys who don't think I'm a waste in the slightest." Lex

20th Jul 2010, 08:43 AM	#10
malachite EC's realist Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Orlando Posts: 6,480 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I've heard it once or twice. i know it isn't meant to malicious, actually its kind of a commpliment, so I don't take offense __________________ It's the 21st century, your bigotry is outdated. Either upgrade or go away.

20th Jul 2010, 09:26 AM	#11
kettleoffish new avatar time! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but parents.. for now. Location: Scotland Age: 18 Posts: 1,045 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I'd punch somebody if they said that to me. __________________ ~~There is no way to peace; peace is the way.~~ --A. J. Muste

20th Jul 2010, 03:04 PM	#12
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? I once heard It the other way around. It was on Right Sayed Freds camp classics on a music channel, There had just played shaner twanes ”man, I feel like a woman”. And one of the presenters who was from Right sayed Fred sayed about the male gutarists ”petty there straight” lol __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

20th Jul 2010, 05:41 PM	#13
chrisg EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All over the place. Age: 23 Posts: 356 Join Date: Jan 2006	Re: Ever get tired of being called "a waste"??? Yeah, I take being called a waste as a compliment! I guess that speaks to my vanity, haha. And I sure hope not to be a waste to gay men...

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