a new std it's like chlamydia

This is a article i read by benjamin ryan it's very informative

The official word has come down from on high: Gay men are dirty sluts who should probably just stop having sex altogether.
At a recent press conference, New York City Public Health Department officials implied that yes, yet again, the crucibles of disease that are the asses of freewheeling gay guys have cooked up a blockbuster new STD. In the past few months, this pestilence has arrived on our shores, ready to stir fear in the hearts of hypochondriacs and incite the usual defiance and lackadaisical denial in barebacking aficionados.

The new cause for alarm is called LGV, which is short for lymphogranuloma venereum. The foul-tempered infection comes from a strain of the bacteria that causes chlamydia.

In a brilliant move, the dusty chlamydia, well aware of its negative public image, has expanded its brand by releasing itself under a different name, just like the beleaguered Martha Stewart recently did with her Everyday Food magazine.

You get LGV the same way you get chlamydia: from unprotected oral or anal sex, either on the giving or receiving end. Which means that New York City health officials are calling for gay guys to use condoms or -- imagine it! -- not have sex at all.

Abstinence has somehow become less desirable since the homophobe-in-chief, President Bush, made inflicting it upon us his mission from God. But having experienced the joys of seminal retention in a recent disastrous relationship that was a little light on the sex, I can say that Bushie and Laura may have a good thing going.

By the way, if any of you out there have had the misfortune of suffering through a Bush administration-sponsored sex-ed class, hear this: Condoms, while not 100 percent foolproof, are indeed very effective in preventing HIV transmission. You should use them and learn to use them correctly. That means pinching the top when you put one on in order to prevent air bubbles and using lots of lube to reduce the likelihood of breakage. Also, you can reduce your risk by having the top pull out before he ejaculates. (Gotta see the money shot or it don't count, right?)

When it comes to oral safety, let's face it, there is absolutely zero point in telling people to use condoms for blowjobs. (Don't let me stop you, though.) But there are indeed ways to be as safe as possible. If you're super safety-minded, you probably already know that swallowing went out with the Village People. On the other hand, you might not have considered lowering your risk by just not giving head at all.

Usually only found in developing countries, LGV recently made the leap to the Netherlands, which is quite possibly an even sluttier country than ours. More than 90 cases have been diagnosed there, and others have been found in Belgium, France, Sweden and Britain -- all in (you guessed it) gay and bisexual men.

As was expected, the disease found its way to the U.S. A total of six people have been diagnosed so far: three in San Francisco, two in New York and one in Atlanta. If you took statistics, you know that those numbers can increase exponentially.

The sudden surge of new cases suggests that gay men are not practicing safe sex as they should. Also worrisome is the threat that an LGV infection can make it easier for you to get HIV or other STDs. Luckily, the disease is easily treated with a three-week course of antibiotics -- the same stuff I took to clear up my zits when I was an oily-faced teen. (For more on the treatment of LGV, click here.)

However, as with many other STDs, LGV can go unnoticed while you are either asymptomatic or your doctor confuses your symptoms with those of other ailments, such as irritable bowel syndrome. (That's the disease that Lynda Carter, a.k.a. Wonder Woman, is the spokeswoman for, so you know it's sexy.) During this time, you could unknowingly transmit the disease.

The possible symptoms of LGV remind me of the psychosomatic reaction I've had to the recent rash of swishy Broadway musicals -- those half-baked amalgamations of Top 40 pop songs. A relatively tame reaction will include flulike symptoms and swollen lymph glands in your groin. Getting a little uglier are potential lesions on your dick or inside your urethra.

A more dire consequence might be, as the Kaiser Family Foundation puts it, "severe gastrointestinal distress." Lesions can end up in your ass. Explosive bloody diarrhea and/or constipation can start to cramp your style. And pussy or snotty discharge dribbling from your butt might kill a first date.

Power bottoms out there might find a way to put anal spasms to their advantage, but I don't know what they're going to do about a condition called "tenesmus," which, to quote the National Institutes of Health, is "the constant feeling of the need to empty the bowel, accompanied by pain, cramping and involuntary straining effort."

How's that for light bathroom reading?

In fact, if left untreated, an LGV infection can permanently damage your bowels. It can also leave scars on your cock. So, suffice it to say, LGV is pretty shitty.

Benjamin Ryan is an editor at large at HIV Plus magazine. A graduate of Columbia University, he worked as an HIV test counselor in the university's health services. His writing has appeared in Out, The Advocate, POZ, The New York Observer and New York magazine. He lives a very gay life in New York City. He can be reached at [email protected]