"It's just a phase"

[blankpaper]

How many of you actually know someone who just went through a phase of being gay? I hear about people using this term when someone comes out to them but I've never heard of anyone who actually has come out as gay and later on said 'Just Kidding! I'm straight'. How common is this actually? I know that some people come out as bisexual just to get attention so they don't count : P

[Shevanel]

It happens. I can't blame someone for being confused about their sexuality.

[Revan]

The only ones I've heard of phases are these posers saying they're "bi" because it's now the cool thing to be. And then later it's like on facebook they change their status back to liking women (or men in the case of girls). Pisses me off.

[MagicalMatt]

I've never heard of this.

The only guy I ever knew that did this said, "I'm bi, no I'm straight, actually I'm gay," and he's...still gay.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Revan

The only ones I've heard of phases are these posers saying they're "bi" because it's now the cool thing to be. And then later it's like on facebook they change their status back to liking women (or men in the case of girls). Pisses me off.

It's much more fun when the people who get tired of these posers decide to take it out on the legitimately bi people, maintaining that they are no different than the posers who seek out attention. ^_^

[Chip]

I know of one person. He was about as gay as they come when I knew him at 19. He was in a relationship with somoene who later developed HIV and died (This was in the mid 1980s.) I lost touch with him, but a few years later I found out he was happily married -- to a woman -- and had two children. I still don't know the whole story. But i suspect that he simply suppressed his "gayness" to have a safer relationship, since back then nobody knew for sure what caused AIDS.

Other than that... the idea that it's a "phase" is pretty much BS.

[Danielle]

For some people it is just a phase, orginally I was only attracted to guys but then after a couple of years I started liking girls as well.

[VampConspiracy]

Since I haven't paid attention to other people's affairs (read: I don't care about who you're with or who you want to be with!), along with the fact that all my friends seem to be straight, I haven't run into this.

And no, I'm not "bi" because I want to be "cool," "hip," "sexually deviant," or other stupid modern terms. I'm bi because I'm actually attracted to both sexes...

[Lexington]

My sister did "experiment" while in college. She says she had a couple experiences, enjoyed them, but decided she liked guys. But even she wouldn't call that her "gay phase" - she would've called it "being a college student".

Lex

[AlyssWonderland]

I know a guy that legitimately thought he was bi, but after a while he realized that he was just kinda confused and he tried experimenting and stuff. Now he's straight and for the most part people have forgotten about his 'phase' or whatever. Other than that its just the stupid people who say they're bi because its 'cool', like a few people I know. Stupid attention whores...

[ok455]

My ex sex buddy me and him had sex for years and he came over one night and he told me he had a girlfriend we messed around one final night and we stopped talking after that night. I checked his myspace and him and his girlfriend had a child together and moved in. I guess he was going through a "phase"


I don't know if this count or not In 8th grade this guy wanted to mess around with me we used to touch and feel each other. I always through he was joking around and i turned him down he got mad stopped talking to me for a few years. After that he has girlfriends and stuff typical straight guy. I always wonder what would happened if we did messed around

[Tiny Catastrophe]

my best friend thought she was legitimately bi for a while but she wasnt doing it for attention. i was the only one she told and a little while later she decided she wasnt bi anymore. i guess you could call that a phase

[blankpaper]

Wow There's a lot of variation in answers! I have honestly never personally known someone who went through a "phase" but it dosen't seem to happen like parents think where people make complete turn arounds (except possibly in the case of chip's friend but that inclued a traumatic experience so....)

[zackman457]

My mom's boyfriend always tells me that I'm just going through a phase. It's really annoying, because there's a ton of gay people my age. I also know a ton of people who found out they were gay when they were my age, and are still gay like 10 years later. But yeah, it's probably possible. xP

[ok455]

Originally Posted by zackman457

My mom's boyfriend always tells me that I'm just going through a phase. It's really annoying, because there's a ton of gay people my age. I also know a ton of people who found out they were gay when they were my age, and are still gay like 10 years later. But yeah, it's probably possible. xP

My mom used to say that about my cousin who came out Lesbian shes 23 "Oh shes just going through a phase if a good looking guy comes along she will drop being lesbian"


I told her shes not going to be straight leave her alone and let her live her life. Shes too old to be going through a phrase.

After that she stop talking about her sexuality

[MusicIsLife]

Originally Posted by Revan

The only ones I've heard of phases are these posers saying they're "bi" because it's now the cool thing to be. And then later it's like on facebook they change their status back to liking women (or men in the case of girls). Pisses me off.

This.

A TON of the girls i know that went to private all girls schools claimed to be bi until they went to college -_-

[TheTangoMaureen]

I eventually came out to one friend and my 'mentor' 3 years ago. The menot said it was a phase and that I should tell anyone I'd come out to that I was joking. I've now come to think that 6 years is a bit too long for a 'phase'.

[heatqueen]

I have a slighly different perspective of the definition of the word 'phase'.

There is too much expectation of young people to have figured out who they are at such a young age. One thing I know from experience is that one incident can happen, and that sole incident can define you for a long time regardless of whether it's accurate or not. My story:

I have been unsure of who I really am since I was thirteen years old and had a seriously intense crush on a girl. When this happened I spent years questioning myself and my sexuality and, at 15, started to think of myself as gay. Back then, the idea of not knowing who I was scared me and I felt under pressure to slap on a label.

Then I moved schools for sixth form. Irony is, I was accidentally outed against my own decision before I even got there. Which isn't a bad thing per se, but I feel like it might have been too soon and defined me in a certain way far to quickly. Why do I feel like this? Because despite thinking myself as gay, my philosophy is that I cannot predict the future and that anything could happen with either gender. Who's to say that one day I wouldn't meet a guy that swept me off my feet?

No, I do not believe this makes me bisexual seeing as so far I've only had crushes on women. And if I started falling for men in the future, I wouldn't discount my coming out as a phase / straightness because it does not kill the fact that in the past I have had crushes on women.

What I think is that people try to define themselves too quickly / at too young an age without actually knowing who they really are, but the way they felt back then wasn't a 'phase' as such because it wasn't wrong or a lie. Meaning that, in the instance that I do one day fancy a man, it wouldn't discount the earlier feelings I've had for women. It would just mean I've grown and learned one more thing about myself as opposed to having had a 'phase'.

[Beachboi92]

Sexuality is relatively fluid, people who go through a "phase" then decide they are not are probably just
1) bisexual just feel they prefer the opposite sex
2) bisexual and afraid of the stigma so they pull the "phase" move
3) Are simply open minded enough to explore their sexuality
4) attention craving and pull the "I'm done with girls/guys" move usually making out that their sexuality is a choice giving bi people a bad name and generally being stupid. (these people usually make it a big deal and post something big on facebook and crap i've seen a girl do it in the i'm done with guys post and the "i like a guys so what" reverse thing)

My opinion is that all people are naturally bisexual on some level, and that it is the social stigma that stops people from not being more open minded in exploring things sexually. I think that most people if given the question "if you could fool around with the same sex and no one would know, would you do it?" they would answer yes if it was say a random anon survey or something.