When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

20th Aug 2010, 08:34 PM

I've always been a bit confused on this. Are same-sex couples who are intending to spend the rest of their lives together called partners? Or is it just another term for boyfriend or girlfriend?

**Martin** · 20th Aug 2010, 09:04 PM

I tend to use it when the relationship has been long-term and has showed consistent stability. Boyfriend is a fairly informal term that can be used for the most new and casual relationships, so I only tend to use it near the start of a relationship. After that I consider them a partner of mine. ^_^

Although that's just my interpretation of the terms. Twould be interesting to see how others define the difference. ^_^

crystaltriforce · 20th Aug 2010, 09:13 PM

i hate the term "partner", it makes a relationship sound like some kind of business or law firm

20th Aug 2010, 09:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystaltriforce

i hate the term "partner", it makes a relationship sound like some kind of business or law firm

THANK YOU!!! I was feeling the same way

Étoile · 20th Aug 2010, 09:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by travelinsoul21

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystaltriforce

i hate the term "partner", it makes a relationship sound like some kind of business or law firm

THANK YOU!!! I was feeling the same way

Same feelings.

The say way 'domestic partnerships' sound governmental and civil unions sound business-orientated.

alan t · 20th Aug 2010, 11:58 PM

To me partner means permanent, like a spouse but without officially being married. Though really the first thing it reminds me of is a business partner.

GoinStag · 21st Aug 2010, 12:08 AM

To me "partner" seems too much like a friend. Like Batman & Robin are "partners". People use partners in so many different ways. But boyfriend means one thing. That's kinda why I want to move to Canada. I don't want a "partner", I want a husband.

Jeremy · 21st Aug 2010, 12:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crystaltriforce

i hate the term "partner", it makes a relationship sound like some kind of business or law firm

I concur. I was once at my teacher's house, and his wife was telling me a story of her brother. She said he was living in Florida with his "partner." Instantly I knew she was referring to homosexuality (though I didn't know he was until after she used that word... "partner").

I can't really say what "partner" entails, but I often associate it with the concept of a person who is too "ashamed" (perhaps just nervous, scared, or uneasy) when using the term "boyfriend" or "girlfriend" referring to a same-sex couple. "Partner" is an asexual term, and perhaps they feel more comfortable when using non gender-specific pronouns.

Shevanel · 21st Aug 2010, 12:19 AM

Never using the term partner. Ever.

21st Aug 2010, 02:18 AM

I despise the term "partner". It sounds really shitty. I am never, ever using that term to describe whoever I end up with (if I end up with anyone).

Revan · 21st Aug 2010, 02:41 AM

I don't like the term...never have. I'm not trying to conform to the straight world, but whenever I talk to couples who aren't married, they don't call the other their partner they call them their boyfriend or girlfriend so why should it be different for gays? And what's more, I find that come marriage or domestic partnership or civil unions amongst gay most of them call each other partner and I can't help but think "why can't you call them your husband or wife?!" So yeah I find partner is just a silly thing. Partner to me means either in a law firm OR a partner in dancing OR a partner in like school group project NOT the person you are with in love.

ok455 · 21st Aug 2010, 04:12 AM

I also hate the term "partner" it sounds too business like heres my work partner or school partner. I like the term Joy Behar uses "spousal equivalent" but if I'm dating a guy for a long time I'm eventually going to call him my husband even if were not married.

MagicalMatt · 21st Aug 2010, 07:38 AM

I concur with about everyone here.

**Eric** · 21st Aug 2010, 09:01 AM

I always saw it as being purely about whatever preference the couple has. Although it seems to apply to couples that've been together for a long time.

I wouldn't use it, it sounds so... Strange.

x2x2x2x2y2 · 21st Aug 2010, 09:14 AM

I don't like "partner" either. I prefer boyfriend. And if I ever were to get married, he'd be my husband, not partner. I seriously don't get how people started using the word partner for marriage.

Rikudo · 21st Aug 2010, 09:43 AM

I actually like Partner better to me it makes it seem as if we are equals. Also the term "boyfriend" then infers that one of us has to be the "women" of the relationship. I'd rather not stick with hetero terms either way.

Spectre · 21st Aug 2010, 01:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ER73

Also the term "boyfriend" then infers that one of us has to be the "women" of the relationship.

I think you're going to have to explain that one.

**TheEdend** · 21st Aug 2010, 02:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ER73

I actually like Partner better to me it makes it seem as if we are equals. Also the term "boyfriend" then infers that one of us has to be the "women" of the relationship. I'd rather not stick with hetero terms either way.

I think this is why the term started being used. Might be wrong though. I don't agree with it though. I will call the person I'm with my boyfriend or my husband and he will call me the same. I don't think that means that I want to be the "woman" or that he wants to be the "man" or the other way around. I wouldn't be able to be with a guy that thought that way.

Kupo! · 21st Aug 2010, 04:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEdend

Quote:

Originally Posted by ER73

I actually like Partner better to me it makes it seem as if we are equals. Also the term "boyfriend" then infers that one of us has to be the "women" of the relationship. I'd rather not stick with hetero terms either way.

I think this is why the term started being used. Might be wrong though. I don't agree with it though. I will call the person I'm with my boyfriend or my husband and he will call me the same. I don't think that means that I want to be the "woman" or that he wants to be the "man" or the other way around. I wouldn't be able to be with a guy that thought that way.

I completely agree. I will him my boyfriend, or husband. Partner or life partner just seems so... weird to me. I don't want to be referred to as a partner, that sounds like side-kick. I want to be able to say to people "I am going out with my boyfriend on Saturday." It sounds more natural.

Just Adam · 22nd Aug 2010, 05:04 AM

i tend to avoid boyfriend it sounds childish to me and makes me think of them school romances where people went out for like a day then the next was with someone else,

partner i see as a long term committed thing which is what i want someone by my side to experience the world with.

husband is totally fine as that is what you are to each other.

also i dont believe anyone has to be the female in the relationship your boyfriend &boyfriend , husband & husband...

20th Aug 2010, 08:34 PM	#1
travelinsoul21 Guest Posts: n/a	When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I've always been a bit confused on this. Are same-sex couples who are intending to spend the rest of their lives together called partners? Or is it just another term for boyfriend or girlfriend?

20th Aug 2010, 09:04 PM	#2
Martin EC's Red Queen EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Merseyside, UK Age: 21 Posts: 8,047 Join Date: Nov 2007	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I tend to use it when the relationship has been long-term and has showed consistent stability. Boyfriend is a fairly informal term that can be used for the most new and casual relationships, so I only tend to use it near the start of a relationship. After that I consider them a partner of mine. ^_^ Although that's just my interpretation of the terms. Twould be interesting to see how others define the difference. ^_^ __________________ The blue whale ejaculates up to 40 gallons during sexual intercourse, but only 10 gallons enters the female. Do you still wonder why the sea tastes salty?

20th Aug 2010, 09:13 PM	#3
crystaltriforce raised by nintendo and sega Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: all but extended family Location: outside of Philadelphia Age: 21 Posts: 1,825 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" i hate the term "partner", it makes a relationship sound like some kind of business or law firm __________________ we need masculinity....PUT ON THE "FUZZY FUZZY CUTE CUTE" SONG!!!

20th Aug 2010, 11:58 PM	#6
alan t EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: ontario, canada Age: 27 Posts: 340 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" To me partner means permanent, like a spouse but without officially being married. Though really the first thing it reminds me of is a business partner.

21st Aug 2010, 12:08 AM	#7
GoinStag I'm straight now............sikeeee Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guy fetish Out Status: Parents, siblings, and therapist Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan Age: 18 Posts: 1,485 Join Date: May 2010	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" To me "partner" seems too much like a friend. Like Batman & Robin are "partners". People use partners in so many different ways. But boyfriend means one thing. That's kinda why I want to move to Canada. I don't want a "partner", I want a husband. __________________ *I've been thinking 'bout this all day long, Never felt a feeling quite this strong...I can't believe how much it turns me on, Just to be your man...*

21st Aug 2010, 12:19 AM	#9
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though) Age: 21 Posts: 7,672 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" Never using the term partner. Ever. __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient.

21st Aug 2010, 02:18 AM	#10
AlexPatrickMorrissey Guest Posts: n/a	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I despise the term "partner". It sounds really shitty. I am never, ever using that term to describe whoever I end up with (if I end up with anyone).

21st Aug 2010, 02:41 AM	#11
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I don't like the term...never have. I'm not trying to conform to the straight world, but whenever I talk to couples who aren't married, they don't call the other their partner they call them their boyfriend or girlfriend so why should it be different for gays? And what's more, I find that come marriage or domestic partnership or civil unions amongst gay most of them call each other partner and I can't help but think "why can't you call them your husband or wife?!" So yeah I find partner is just a silly thing. Partner to me means either in a law firm OR a partner in dancing OR a partner in like school group project NOT the person you are with in love. __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

21st Aug 2010, 04:12 AM	#12
ok455 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Can't tell L!O!L Age: 24 Posts: 437 Join Date: May 2005	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I also hate the term "partner" it sounds too business like heres my work partner or school partner. I like the term Joy Behar uses "spousal equivalent" but if I'm dating a guy for a long time I'm eventually going to call him my husband even if were not married. __________________ http://209.50.252.116/smile.gif

21st Aug 2010, 07:38 AM	#13
MagicalMatt EC's daily dose of magic Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Stillwater, OK Age: 22 Posts: 227 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I concur with about everyone here. __________________ Because Big Love can never be outdone by selfishness, pride, or hate. Tikkun Olam.

21st Aug 2010, 09:01 AM	#14
Eric EC Chat Room Mod EC Chat Mod Gender: Male Orientation: Gayyy Out Status: Open about it. Location: Ontario Age: 18 Posts: 1,374 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I always saw it as being purely about whatever preference the couple has. Although it seems to apply to couples that've been together for a long time. I wouldn't use it, it sounds so... Strange.

21st Aug 2010, 09:14 AM	#15
x2x2x2x2y2 PARAWHORE!!!!!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ~I like guys~ Out Status: Everyone, pretty much. Location: Wonderland (and California, USA) Age: 18 Posts: 3,971 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I don't like "partner" either. I prefer boyfriend. And if I ever were to get married, he'd be my husband, not partner. I seriously don't get how people started using the word partner for marriage. __________________ "THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, OH FINALLY!!" "I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and...Hiding beneath it all and... GROWING beneath it all!!" -Paramore ...and the lesbians

21st Aug 2010, 09:43 AM	#16
Rikudo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 2,198 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" I actually like Partner better to me it makes it seem as if we are equals. Also the term "boyfriend" then infers that one of us has to be the "women" of the relationship. I'd rather not stick with hetero terms either way. __________________ "Out of love, sacrifice is born... Hate is born... and we are able to know pain!"

22nd Aug 2010, 05:04 AM	#20
Just Adam Just passing through Full Member Gender: Something Orientation: Dunno Out Status: If they ask i will tell them Location: Wherever Age: 23 Posts: 6,002 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: When does someone go from being a "boyfriend" to a "partner" i tend to avoid boyfriend it sounds childish to me and makes me think of them school romances where people went out for like a day then the next was with someone else, partner i see as a long term committed thing which is what i want someone by my side to experience the world with. husband is totally fine as that is what you are to each other. also i dont believe anyone has to be the female in the relationship your boyfriend &boyfriend , husband & husband... __________________ There Used To Be A Point Of Things.