Gay Tests - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

IsItSo · 21st Aug 2010, 04:07 PM

What "tests" do you use to try and figure out if someone is gay?

If I'm wondering whether or not a girl is, I ask them if they like Tegan and Sara. I've met other people who use the same method.

Jeremy · 21st Aug 2010, 04:48 PM

Kiss them. If they kiss back, that's a good sign.

lol jk

edogs334 · 21st Aug 2010, 05:06 PM

With guys, you can sometimes tell by their mannerisms, use of hands for self-expression, the way they walk (the saying goes: "hips don't lie"), their eyes (some gay guys have the characteristic "Bambie eyes"- or they just have a certain "sparkle" to them), or their speech patterns. Plus, it's a dead giveaway if many of their friends are attractive, single women who they have no romantic interest in. That and if they talk enthusiastically about going to see Lady Gaga in concert

The above characteristics are all pretty much based on stereotypes, though. There are soooo many gay guys who don't fit one or more of these characteristics and could easily pass for straight any time of day or night. There was one time that I met a friend of a friend (my friend is also gay) and thought to myself "oh, he must be one of ______'s straight friends). Turned out he was gay after all

He just looked like an average (and quite handsome, might I add

) straight guy you'd see walking down the street.

One more thing: if you're a guy and another guy stares at you for more than a second (like, 2-3 seconds at least), then he's probably checking you out (and hence is either gay or bisexual).

Mana · 21st Aug 2010, 05:29 PM

I find people just have a gay "aura" or "presence" (I've been told I have a gay aura :P )

Jeremy · 21st Aug 2010, 05:34 PM

I've been told people are completely shocked and surprised when they find out I'm gay.

I guess it just depends. Of course, there are small nuances you can detect in the behavior of a person that may lead to the stereotypical attributes of gay people. However, most of these gay people might be the people who are totally out. Furthermore, even people who ARE totally out don't always fit these stereotypes, and the nuances may be harder to detect. That and there are quite a number of heterosexuals who fit these behaviors all too well.

peaceandlies · 21st Aug 2010, 05:49 PM

I'm pretty bad at telling. I have a habit of having fake tatts of symbols, so i look for them. i plan to get them done for real asap. apart from that, i ask girls about boyfriends and so on. its not a very good system though

**TheEdend** · 21st Aug 2010, 06:48 PM

I really don't like any kind of "test" to see if someone is gay. Assuming every girl that likes tegan and sara is gay is pretty bad.

Any kind of test would be with the assumption that all gay people are the same. A concept that I don't really like a all. But thats just me.

IsItSo · 21st Aug 2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEdend

Assuming every girl that likes tegan and sara is gay is pretty bad.

I know, but it's certainly not the most offensive stereotype out there. It's pretty funny if the girl actually is gay, as she'll laugh and admit that few straight girls have even heard of Tegan and Sara.

AlyssWonderland · 21st Aug 2010, 08:40 PM

I dont really 'test' people. I'm already friends with almost everyone in my class thats already out... I dont have many straight friends. No test necessary.

Emberstone · 21st Aug 2010, 08:45 PM

I think drawn together had one in the second or third episode.

Strawberry · 22nd Aug 2010, 08:36 AM

I don't think there's really any test at all that could work. I second whoever said something about a "gay aura." Some people really just give off a super gay vibe. For example, I have this friend who doesn't look or act stereotypically gay at all, but the things she says to other girls make it so that she gives off a really, really gay vibe.

Don't just go by stereotypes. That doesn't work well. (I would've failed your test, for example. :p I don't listen to Tegan and Sara.) Then you'll miss the non-stereotypical gay people. You also might accidentally count some straight people as gay if you do that. I have another friend who's a straight guy. He's artsy, into singing, and not really a tough, macho guy at all. He is also openly supportive of gay people. Many people called him gay, but once you get to know him, he talks about girls allll the time!

**Ben** · 22nd Aug 2010, 09:04 AM

Get a girl to bend and snap when she's around him. If there is no response then he's as gay as a rainbow-puking unicorn dipped in glitter.

Seriously though, if you catch him checking out a hot guy when he thinks nobody is looking, then he probably likes hot guys.

VampConspiracy · 22nd Aug 2010, 05:18 PM

Tests? I don't - I tend to just avoid all but the closest of friends.

Then again, I'm not looking for a relationshit relationship right now, and won't be for a long time.

IsItSo · 22nd Aug 2010, 07:02 PM

I know I'm exploiting stereotypes, but topics like these aren't to be taken seriously. I'm just curious to see what other people do.

SaiRev3 · 22nd Aug 2010, 10:10 PM

I think I'm good at hiding being gay. XD

I think I could tell if they act gay or stare at some hot guy and doesn't talk a lot about girls. XP

23rd Aug 2010, 12:02 AM

the eyes, i've heard gay guys have shifty eyes, and i believe it, especially closeted guys. we want to look at guys so we do, but then we think that we shouldn't cause someone will notice, so we look away quickly.

i also get shifty eyes around girls lol, when i was closeted, i looked at girls so other people would think i was straight, but i felt really awkward doing it so i'd look and then look away. now sometimes i'll look at a girl and then look quickly away when they make eye contact cause i don't want them to think i might have been interested haha.

but my favorite test is the flirting test. go up to a guy with an attractive girl and see who he's responding to. it's foolproof and fun.

**Lexington** · 23rd Aug 2010, 06:11 AM

I don't. I just get to know them. If for some reason I NEED to know, I'll ask. And even then, I can't guarantee they're being honest, or even if they know. I know two young guys who identify as straight but who sort of tip my gaydar into the red. (And given how lousy my gaydar usually is, that's saying something.) But neither of them seem to have any issue as straight. If they come to me and want to discuss sexuality, that's fine. But until they do so, I'll just assume they're straight.

I have a few friends and acquaintances who swear they have infallible gaydar. However, I've noticed that they seem to simply just proclaim EVERYBODY gay. I actually tried them out once on a friend. I KNEW this guy was straight - not gay in the slightest. But I said "I've been wondering about Fred - you think he might be gay?" ALL of them decided he was. "Look at the way he holds his spoon - he's a total closet case."

Lex

**Filip** · 23rd Aug 2010, 07:13 AM

Basically, like Lex says: Getting to know them is the best way. Usually, at some point they'll find out you're gay (if you're out, that might probably be right away when discussing basic information about yourself), and if they're gay and out, they'll probably tell you so in return.

Or not, but that's up to them, if they don't feel ready for it. At least, if you told them first, they'll know that you won't be entirely alien to the idea of other people being gay!

Obviously, playing the "gaydar game" is lots of fun, though. I would even say it's one of my preferred games to play on the train (if I want an extra challenge, I can even try and find reasons to think people are gay while they're busy kissing their girlfriend

). But I try not to see the signs I see as anything more than wishful thinking in most cases...

peaceandlies · 2nd Sep 2010, 05:17 AM

Erm... i heard one that works on me. straight guys have the ring finger longer than the index finger. so do lesbians. straight women have it the other way round and so do gay men.
as i said it works on me, and my unfortunately staight best friend, but i dunno if it does on anyone else.

i found that on a forum, checked it out and supposedly its a proper test. then i heard it on the l word.

RedKnight · 2nd Sep 2010, 05:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by peaceandlies

Erm... i heard one that works on me. straight guys have the ring finger longer than the index finger. so do lesbians. straight women have it the other way round and so do gay men.
as i said it works on me, and my unfortunately staight best friend, but i dunno if it does on anyone else.

i found that on a forum, checked it out and supposedly its a proper test. then i heard it on the l word.

well my ring finger is longer than my index finger, so sorry but that does not prove accurate on me. but maybe im just some genetic kiwi freak :P

21st Aug 2010, 04:07 PM	#1
IsItSo EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 同志 Out Status: A few people Location: New York-ish Age: 18 Posts: 771 Join Date: Apr 2010	Gay Tests What "tests" do you use to try and figure out if someone is gay? If I'm wondering whether or not a girl is, I ask them if they like Tegan and Sara. I've met other people who use the same method.

21st Aug 2010, 04:48 PM	#2
Jeremy To be honest, I don't like dogs. Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Homosexual Out Status: I typically don't get to choose. Location: USA Age: 23 Posts: 264 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: Gay Tests Kiss them. If they kiss back, that's a good sign. lol jk __________________ ................ .......... .. ................

21st Aug 2010, 05:06 PM	#3
edogs334 Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: hoping to kick down the closet doors for good Age: 30 Posts: 190 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: Gay Tests With guys, you can sometimes tell by their mannerisms, use of hands for self-expression, the way they walk (the saying goes: "hips don't lie"), their eyes (some gay guys have the characteristic "Bambie eyes"- or they just have a certain "sparkle" to them), or their speech patterns. Plus, it's a dead giveaway if many of their friends are attractive, single women who they have no romantic interest in. That and if they talk enthusiastically about going to see Lady Gaga in concert The above characteristics are all pretty much based on stereotypes, though. There are soooo many gay guys who don't fit one or more of these characteristics and could easily pass for straight any time of day or night. There was one time that I met a friend of a friend (my friend is also gay) and thought to myself "oh, he must be one of ______'s straight friends). Turned out he was gay after all He just looked like an average (and quite handsome, might I add ) straight guy you'd see walking down the street. One more thing: if you're a guy and another guy stares at you for more than a second (like, 2-3 seconds at least), then he's probably checking you out (and hence is either gay or bisexual). __________________ Damn Straight!....I mean...Oh Yeah.... Mmmmkay? Out of the closet, but the door's still not completely shut behind me. Last edited by edogs334; 21st Aug 2010 at 05:09 PM..

21st Aug 2010, 05:29 PM	#4
Mana Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Failed Lesbian Out Status: Just go with the flow Location: King's Lynn Age: 18 Posts: 189 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: Gay Tests I find people just have a gay "aura" or "presence" (I've been told I have a gay aura :P )

21st Aug 2010, 05:34 PM	#5
Jeremy To be honest, I don't like dogs. Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Homosexual Out Status: I typically don't get to choose. Location: USA Age: 23 Posts: 264 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: Gay Tests I've been told people are completely shocked and surprised when they find out I'm gay. I guess it just depends. Of course, there are small nuances you can detect in the behavior of a person that may lead to the stereotypical attributes of gay people. However, most of these gay people might be the people who are totally out. Furthermore, even people who ARE totally out don't always fit these stereotypes, and the nuances may be harder to detect. That and there are quite a number of heterosexuals who fit these behaviors all too well. __________________ ................ .......... .. ................

21st Aug 2010, 05:49 PM	#6
peaceandlies Survivor Full Member Gender: Genderqueer, leaning male Orientation: I like GIRLS Out Status: Out to everyone Location: In a Dream. Age: 17 Posts: 372 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: Gay Tests I'm pretty bad at telling. I have a habit of having fake tatts of symbols, so i look for them. i plan to get them done for real asap. apart from that, i ask girls about boyfriends and so on. its not a very good system though

21st Aug 2010, 06:48 PM	#7
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,831 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Gay Tests I really don't like any kind of "test" to see if someone is gay. Assuming every girl that likes tegan and sara is gay is pretty bad. Any kind of test would be with the assumption that all gay people are the same. A concept that I don't really like a all. But thats just me. __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

21st Aug 2010, 08:40 PM	#9
AlyssWonderland ninja. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Everyone but extended family. Location: New Hampshire Age: 17 Posts: 670 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: Gay Tests I dont really 'test' people. I'm already friends with almost everyone in my class thats already out... I dont have many straight friends. No test necessary. __________________ welcome to the sound of pretty. odd.

21st Aug 2010, 08:45 PM	#10
Emberstone Flappychap Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Oregon, USA Age: 28 Posts: 5,592 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Gay Tests I think drawn together had one in the second or third episode.

22nd Aug 2010, 08:36 AM	#11
Strawberry <3 Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Some people Location: The Deep South :( Age: 17 Posts: 107 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Gay Tests I don't think there's really any test at all that could work. I second whoever said something about a "gay aura." Some people really just give off a super gay vibe. For example, I have this friend who doesn't look or act stereotypically gay at all, but the things she says to other girls make it so that she gives off a really, really gay vibe. Don't just go by stereotypes. That doesn't work well. (I would've failed your test, for example. :p I don't listen to Tegan and Sara.) Then you'll miss the non-stereotypical gay people. You also might accidentally count some straight people as gay if you do that. I have another friend who's a straight guy. He's artsy, into singing, and not really a tough, macho guy at all. He is also openly supportive of gay people. Many people called him gay, but once you get to know him, he talks about girls allll the time!

22nd Aug 2010, 09:04 AM	#12
Ben Was Invisible. EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Age: 20 Posts: 3,704 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: Gay Tests Get a girl to bend and snap when she's around him. If there is no response then he's as gay as a rainbow-puking unicorn dipped in glitter. Seriously though, if you catch him checking out a hot guy when he thinks nobody is looking, then he probably likes hot guys.

22nd Aug 2010, 05:18 PM	#13
VampConspiracy Not Upholding the Masquerade! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay. The slippery slide of outness. Out Status: Everybody and their dogs know I'm gay Location: Missouri Age: 20 Posts: 527 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Gay Tests Tests? I don't - I tend to just avoid all but the closest of friends. Then again, I'm not looking for a relationshit relationship right now, and won't be for a long time. __________________ X__________________________________

22nd Aug 2010, 07:02 PM	#14
IsItSo EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 同志 Out Status: A few people Location: New York-ish Age: 18 Posts: 771 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: Gay Tests I know I'm exploiting stereotypes, but topics like these aren't to be taken seriously. I'm just curious to see what other people do.

22nd Aug 2010, 10:10 PM	#15
SaiRev3 Member Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Several friends. Location: Sacramento, CA Age: 15 Posts: 57 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Gay Tests I think I'm good at hiding being gay. XD I think I could tell if they act gay or stare at some hot guy and doesn't talk a lot about girls. XP __________________ "Men cry not for themselves, but for their comrades."- Crisis Core

23rd Aug 2010, 12:02 AM	#16
paco Guest Posts: n/a	Re: Gay Tests the eyes, i've heard gay guys have shifty eyes, and i believe it, especially closeted guys. we want to look at guys so we do, but then we think that we shouldn't cause someone will notice, so we look away quickly. i also get shifty eyes around girls lol, when i was closeted, i looked at girls so other people would think i was straight, but i felt really awkward doing it so i'd look and then look away. now sometimes i'll look at a girl and then look quickly away when they make eye contact cause i don't want them to think i might have been interested haha. but my favorite test is the flirting test. go up to a guy with an attractive girl and see who he's responding to. it's foolproof and fun.

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23rd Aug 2010, 06:11 AM	#17
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Gay Tests I don't. I just get to know them. If for some reason I NEED to know, I'll ask. And even then, I can't guarantee they're being honest, or even if they know. I know two young guys who identify as straight but who sort of tip my gaydar into the red. (And given how lousy my gaydar usually is, that's saying something.) But neither of them seem to have any issue as straight. If they come to me and want to discuss sexuality, that's fine. But until they do so, I'll just assume they're straight. I have a few friends and acquaintances who swear they have infallible gaydar. However, I've noticed that they seem to simply just proclaim EVERYBODY gay. I actually tried them out once on a friend. I KNEW this guy was straight - not gay in the slightest. But I said "I've been wondering about Fred - you think he might be gay?" ALL of them decided he was. "Look at the way he holds his spoon - he's a total closet case." Lex

23rd Aug 2010, 07:13 AM	#18
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,366 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Gay Tests Basically, like Lex says: Getting to know them is the best way. Usually, at some point they'll find out you're gay (if you're out, that might probably be right away when discussing basic information about yourself), and if they're gay and out, they'll probably tell you so in return. Or not, but that's up to them, if they don't feel ready for it. At least, if you told them first, they'll know that you won't be entirely alien to the idea of other people being gay! Obviously, playing the "gaydar game" is lots of fun, though. I would even say it's one of my preferred games to play on the train (if I want an extra challenge, I can even try and find reasons to think people are gay while they're busy kissing their girlfriend ). But I try not to see the signs I see as anything more than wishful thinking in most cases... __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

2nd Sep 2010, 05:17 AM	#19
peaceandlies Survivor Full Member Gender: Genderqueer, leaning male Orientation: I like GIRLS Out Status: Out to everyone Location: In a Dream. Age: 17 Posts: 372 Join Date: Aug 2010	Re: Gay Tests Erm... i heard one that works on me. straight guys have the ring finger longer than the index finger. so do lesbians. straight women have it the other way round and so do gay men. as i said it works on me, and my unfortunately staight best friend, but i dunno if it does on anyone else. i found that on a forum, checked it out and supposedly its a proper test. then i heard it on the l word.