What would you do?

[Martin]

Hey peeps,

Here's a hypothetical situation for you:

You're in a same-sex relationship with somebody, and you're both absolutely convinced you're the one for each other and want to get your relationship legally recognised. However, the state/country you're in doesn't offer marriage, but offers you civil unions/partnerships with all the same legal benefits to marriage. At that exact moment, would you get into a civil union/partnership or would you wait until you could get married?

I ask because I, like many on here, see the term marriage as being fundamentally important. I constantly say that I would never get into a Civil Partnership (tis the term in UK) but in the back of my mind I know that I can say that because I am not wanting to get married at this exact moment in time, so the wait until I can marry doesn't really affect me. If I was in the above scenario then I really have no idea what I would do. The term marriage is hugely important to me, but I also don't know what I would do if I wanted to be legally recognised at that exact moment.

So yeah, what would you do?

FYI: I'm not asking whether you see marriage and civil unions as being equal, it's whether you'd accept another form of legal recognition if you were in the above scenario. I find that some EC'ers want to be married when older, but I am genuinely curious what their opinions are when the dynamics are changed in the above way.

[RedKnight]

if you are in a civil partnership, are you then not able to get married with that partner if it became legal?

[Martin]

Originally Posted by RedKnight

if you are in a civil partnership, are you then not able to get married with that partner if it became legal?

You would likely have your civil partnership voided and would be recognised as married instead, but that's moving beyond what the hypothetical situation is asking.

I want to know what you would do if it was either be in a civil partnership or wait X amount of time until same-sex marriage became legal. The amount of time until marriage becomes legal isn't relevant as it's meant to be about what decision you would make at this exact moment in the scenario.

[Allecto]

It depends. If we'd get the full legal benefits of heterosexual marriage, I'd go for it. Otherwise, I'd just get married in another state.

[RedKnight]

ok, in this situation then... ummm i dont know. do whatever my partner wants. ok thats cheating. ummm, if the stance of government at that point of time was highly unlikely that marriage was going to be available anytime in the near future, civil union

[VampConspiracy]

I'm not sure; it's a reach, and as I said before, I want to WAIT (extreme emphasis) before I get married. The fence will be straddled once again.

[Eric]

I would wait for marriage to be completely legal for same-sex couples. Mind you, I don't see marriage as being essential in the relationship. I'm not particularly interested in having a ceremony with a justice of the peace and all that jazz (although that migh change eventually). It's the title that interests me more. The idea of being simply in a civil union doesn't interest me, it doesn't feel as intimate, as personal as being married. It comes down to the title for me and I'd be willing to wait if the dude I'm with is willing to.

What are we gonna put on the back of the car we drive off in, "Just Civilly United"? "Civil Union'd"?

[RedKnight]

i feel guilty with my answer now cause its just the mind frame they want me to have :l

[Just Adam]

i said wait... ive made it no secret i hate the name civil partnership, and there are laws that go with the term marriage...i want to be treated as equal so want to be married to the person i love.

of course there's always options of marrying abroad as the uk recognises foreign marriages if not those here as such.

[Martin]

Originally Posted by Just Adam

of course there's always options of marrying abroad as the uk recognises foreign marriages if not those here as such.

I'm afraid it doesn't.

Any same-sex marriages performed abroad are automatically registered as a Civil Partnership once you land on UK soil. It was intended to be that way when the Civil Partnership Act was enacted, and the High Court ruled in 2006 that all marriages must be converted to a civil partnership for their relationship to be legally recognised by the United Kingdom.

Any other ceremony isn't recognised in the UK or any British embassy. :\

[Miss Modular]

I'd prefer a civil union because I'm not religious, and I think of marriage as religious sacraments, with tacked on legal benefits. Also, I think that all marriages should be civil unions until both parties get their union confirmed in some sort of religious ceremony.

[Nodnarb]

I don't know. I'm not a fan of civil unions/partnerships...but if I was in that situation, I would consider it. I probably would for the sake of having the rights and recognition (in case of serious injury or something like that).

Thankfully I don't have to worry about that where I live

[kettlkorn]

I have an uncle that is gay. He and his partner decided to get married. They couldn't get married at home, so they went and did it in Canada. That's probably what I'd do.

[Lexington]

I'd just do what I'm currently doing - living in sin.

Lex

[Black Cat]

I wouldn't settle for that "Civil Union/Partnership" stuff. Personally I see it as a load of nonsense. We don't shake hands with our boy/girlfriends; we have sex just like married people. Plus I see marriage becoming increasingly overrated by people, not the institution of marriage (although who wants to go into an institution anyways?) but the act of getting married - the wedding itself in a sense. I just think that too many people are spending too much time worrying about that one day, and not about the grand scheme of the relationship. But that's completely irrelevant.

I would wait until we could get full on marriage rights. Although living in sin sounds nice too.

[TheEdend]

If I was ready to be married, and I had found that special someone, then I don't think I would want to wait. You get the same rights and the same privileges, I think. That being said, even if I did get a civil union, I wouldn't stop fighting for same-sex marriage.

I don't really think we are fighting to get married. We just simply want to be able to have the option. Its as simple as that.

[SaturdaySaviour]

Seeing that the only option we have here is "unregistered cohabitation" (*facepalm*), I'd be really happy with a civil union.

But if we stick to the scenario, yes, I would choose civil union. I guess I'd feel safer knowing that I at least have some rights.

[stratavos]

ok, so we love each other very much and want to show that we are making a commitment to one another. However it's possible, is what would be done. if something better comes along, we'd likely upgrade.

[Mana]

I'd prefer to be able to get married than get a civil partnership, but tbh it's not about the terminology or legal benefits or anything like that, in my mind it's about loving someone enough to want to show the world how you feel about them... So from the point of view of someone who was hopelessly in love I'd get a CP (if that's what she wanted anyway) but from the point of view of someone who wants equal rights I want to get married.

[RainbowJay]

I voted for the civil union/partnership because it's the best that New York is offering so far while we wait patiently for the next step up: marriage :]