Is it appropriate to ask another person what sexual orientation they identify as?

[Jonah 4]

Personally, I'm pretty open about my sexual orientation and don't mind being asked.
That said I don't ever ask anyone about their sexuality, since I've always regarded it as something personal. Anyway, I'm curious what you guys think.

[GoinStag]

A straight guy would probably be offended if you asked what his sexual orientation is because it would look like maybe you thought he was a little "soft" or something that might make you question "is he straight or gay I can't tell".

[partietraumatic]

its not something i would ever do. I think it's a little inappropriate to ask someone, its more something you should be told.

[RaRa]

Obviously if you blurt out "ARE YOU A FAGGOT?!" it's going to be offensive/inappropriate.

But just simply asking "Are you gay? If you are it's totally cool" does no harm. If anyone is insecure enough to be offended by this question I feel sorry for them.

[Holmes]

If ambiguity has consequences, and depending on how well you know someone. It's not one of those questions that is right or wrong in all cases that you can make a simple poll about.

[x2x2x2x2y2]

Depends. If it's just a random person, then no. If it's like a new friend and you've known them for a while, then yes.

[Shevanel]

I probably wouldn't be thrilled if someone asked me about my sexuality, regardless of the intentions. I just don't see why it should matter.

[alan t]

I think it's not always appropriate; not because of offending straight people (who cares if they're going to be that silly) but because you don't want to embarrass a gay person who may not be comfortable answering in that situation. So I think it depends on whether you think there's any risk of that happening or not.

[peaceandlies]

i think, yes, usually. there are some times, such as perhapsin court when being tried for murder, then its not the best time to ask the judge if hes gay. buton the whole, yes

[Lexington]

Completely depends on the circumstances, in my book. Asking a friend? Sure. Asking a guy in a gay bar? Of course. Asking a random guy you run into on the street? No.

But from what I'm learning, I'm on the VERY conservative side of this. I know people who can and do ask anybody and everybody, even if they don't really care.

Lex

[Jonah 4]

Originally Posted by Lexington

Completely depends on the circumstances, in my book. Asking a friend? Sure. Asking a guy in a gay bar? Of course. Asking a random guy you run into on the street? No.

But from what I'm learning, I'm on the VERY conservative side of this. I know people who can and do ask anybody and everybody, even if they don't really care.

Lex

I think this is where I'm at except the friend part. I don't know, maybe its just the nature of coming from a pretty conservative background/going to a conservative school/attending a conservative church etc...the topic, even with family members that are obviously in same sex relationship is pretty much treated as a Don't Ask Unless Told.

But, based upon the responses here, it seems like I'm in the minority. Hmm

[splattered]

I get offended when people ask (which is rare). But I've decided my response to that question is "does it matter?"

[Cheria]

I think it's ok. It's better to be able to casually talk about it rather than having to "drop a bomb" each time.

[Eric]

I would agree with the majority here. It depends on the situation.

Which reminds me of a time I asked a guy who was wearing nothing but boxers and looking for his pants if he was gay. He never answered. xD

He was my crush, actually.

[GhostDog]

I'd only ask another person if the circumstances made it seem less intrusive. Like if conversation was on that topic anyway, or I'm at a GSA meeting, or someone just made a painting that said "FAG" or something*.

Or, if person in question is a lady, I might ask if I wanted to ask her out. Though in that case, I'd probably just ask her if she likes girls at all and if she wanted to go out for coffee sometime rather than "WHAT IS YOUR SEXUAL ORIENTATION >:|"

I don't really tend to ask people that question! I figure it's none of my business most of the time.

* This is a thing that happened!

I like to be asked, sometimes i am not so fothcoming in new situations. So, this gives me the comfort zone to start a coversation with new people. I have only asked a few people in private situations. Younger people than I am ( a large number), have asked me. I think it is good people feel free enough to ask without feeling threatened. We are making progress.

I would prob go some thing like this

Me: are you gay if so I am cool with it

them ?

[xCrazyInsanity]

Originally Posted by GhostDog

or someone just made a painting that said "FAG" or something*.
* This is a thing that happened!

Seroiusly?


anyway, totally on situation. if it's just "hey, you, are you gay" and i'm not friends with them, it's rude as hell.
if it's a friend or its a situation where the topic is coming up its fine [obvouslly if im ranting about lgbt rights the question is going to come up]

i was a bit confused by the question. i actually think it's fine to ask anyone, or it should be cause it's kinda like asking do you eat meat or are you a vegetarian to me. the problem is that it's an offensive question to straight people, wish it wasn't, but hey, what can ya do?

[Apocalypte]

Depends on the circumstances really - there are some situations where it's completely inappropriate and others where it is relevant.