I posted here a bit a while back till college really started to get busy and I had to scale back on my online activity. So I hope no one minds me coming back now that I've something like this on my mind. Since I last wrote here, I've started a relationship which has been going for a solid four months, my first with a boy. He's a few years younger than me, I'm gone 24, he's 20. Without meaning to burden anyone with details, it has been a full relationship. I had a girlfriend three years ago, which lasted just over three months, till she broke it off. He does know about her, had met her when we went out, but I still think he assumes I'm fairly much completely gay, since coming out over the past nearly two years. And I'm fairly much happy with that, the idea of being gay, people thinking that, knowing it of me. Overall, right now, it makes more sense than saying bi or anything. But the last two times we went to the cinema, I ended up feeling more attracted to the girls. We went to Inception, a choice he'd made fun of me for, as I have a thing for Di Caprio, but it was Ellen Page's Ariadne I was most interested in. Then today, we went to see Scott Pilgrim, and Romana reminded me of my ex-girlfriend, I thought she was like her at her best. I know it will pass, after a few days it did pass after we went to see Inception, but it did take a few days. Should I say anything to him, in a being honest and open way. Like talk about all those we fancied before we got together, and I could think of girls and boys interspersed over the years, even if I didn't have that much luck. Or if I try to talk to him about being bi, and I really am much more predominantly gay now, could it be seen as me looking for a way out? Things are going well, should go on for a good while, but it could just add unnecessary tension.
It could add unnecessary tension. There's nothing wrong with admiring female beauty at all, and I know a few gay guys who talk about girls more than they do about guys, but they're still gay. You MAY be bi, but you should just go with whatever feels most right. In the terms of this relationship, your sexuality shouldn't matter, especially when its seeing the appeal in certain celebrities you're seeing on screen. What matters is that you're attracted and really into your boyfriend, and if you do decide to tell him this, you need to make sure he knows that so he doesn't feel like you're attempting to find a way out or whatever. Just go with what's right for you. Only you know the truth inside you.
I couldn't agree more with this statement. Doing that could soften any bad feelings that might develop. And who knows, maybe he won't have a problem with it at all.
Thanks, I think you're both right. It is fairly true that I have short spurts of feeling straight, it's definitely more than admiring female beauty, but maybe I don't need to tell him this. I think part of it is tied with any of the tensions a couple have in discussing the past, but with the added awkwardness of the whole sexuality thing. And wondering if going to the cinema hurts our relationship. I don't really know, and maybe I shouldn't be worried. I remembered, though, what I like about this forum, that's it's comforting to have quick and obvious answers to these sorts of worries, so I'll try to be back, and get involved in these discussions again.
