Small towns

Can a gay man be happy in a small town, less than 20,000 people? I've thought about this for a long time, and I love the city. But everytime I'm looking into it and doing research all I hear about is crime & murder, etc. Being that I want to have a family some day, I don't want my future children exposed to the problems of big city life, likewise I don't want them sheltered. So do you think a gay man can thrive in a small town? Or is it not possible?

[Shevanel]

Depends on the small town. Pretty little College Towns like Ithaca NY are probably the most LGBT friendly small towns. Thats for sure.

Well i'm not even necessarily referring to LGBT friendly towns, although that would be nice

[Shevanel]

Well I would figure a question like

Can a gay man be happy in a small town, less than 20,000 people?

would refer to LGBT Friendliness. Anything else would be silly to mention because then why put "gay" infront of man? And then to further add the silliness, If the question was just "Can a man be happy in a small town?", then it would be common sense the answer would be yes otherwise there would be no small towns as no one would want to live somewhere where they wouldn't be happy.

Just saying.

Alright, alright you have a good point.

Let me phrase it a different way.

Would someone who likes the amenities and benefits of a big city be able to thrive happily in a small town?

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by travelinsoul21

Alright, alright you have a good point.

Let me phrase it a different way.

Would someone who likes the amenities and benefits of a big city be able to thrive happily in a small town?

Personally, I grew up on the outskirts of NYC in the giant suburb of Nassau County, Long Island, which is densely populated, and sometimes within the city itself. I absolutely love the city. And thats how I lived for 18 years of my life. Then I went to the city of Buffalo, NY for 1 year of College. Now, the approximate population of the NYC Metropolitan area is 19,006,798. Buffalo is 1,254,066. Buffalo is also the 2nd most populous city in NY. Which I find funny.

Anyway, living in Buffalo, I definitely didn't consider it a city, but that's because I was spoiled with the largeness of NYC, and I hated it, for many reasons, but one of them was definitely because it was too small and not busy enough. So if you really love cities, maybe you might be able to live off of a small town, but I personally wouldn't.

EDIT: I'm a sucker for 24 hour stores. So if a city doesn't have at least one of them, I freak out. xD

Hmm...you raise alot of good points. I guess it just depends

[Vince McGinty]

I live on a farm, but our closest town is about 5,000 people. In Ireland, being gay is not what an Irish man is. Me bro and I live with our Granda and Granny and the both of us are gay. If we came out, life as we know it would cease to exist. We're needed here to help work the farm so leaving them alone is not an option, nor de we have a right to destroy their world. To cnsider just ourselves would be selfish and lacking the love and compassion that gay's are supposed to embody.

I've had the odd bloke glance at me, the laser cruise, but I've no desire to start something in the community and me bro has had the same, maybe him more so than me cos other boys, and girls, seem t fancy his blond hair.

County Donegal is rural old time Ireland. We speak Irish here everyday, and when we go up to the pub of an evening, Sean McGinty's grandsons are expected to be good Irish, republican lads. Gay doesn't exist or fit in our world, so our dragon stays hidden in the Hills of Donegal for all our good.

[fragomatrick]

I live in a small town as well. It sucks. I don't like it here. Can't wait to move out of here someday.
I don't believe you can. Maybe you can be impervious to other people's opinions. But what about your children you talk about? After all, small town people are known to be narrow minded. They wouldn't be as comfortable about your sexuality as you would want them to be.
For someone who is not rustic anymore, would find it really difficult to survive the less developed lifestyle. But if you HAVE to get used to it, then just suck up to it!

[Apocalypte]

Originally Posted by Vince McGinty

I live on a farm, but our closest town is about 5,000 people. In Ireland, being gay is not what an Irish man is. Me bro and I live with our Granda and Granny and the both of us are gay. If we came out, life as we know it would cease to exist. We're needed here to help work the farm so leaving them alone is not an option, nor de we have a right to destroy their world. To cnsider just ourselves would be selfish and lacking the love and compassion that gay's are supposed to embody.

I've had the odd bloke glance at me, the laser cruise, but I've no desire to start something in the community and me bro has had the same, maybe him more so than me cos other boys, and girls, seem t fancy his blond hair.

County Donegal is rural old time Ireland. We speak Irish here everyday, and when we go up to the pub of an evening, Sean McGinty's grandsons are expected to be good Irish, republican lads. Gay doesn't exist or fit in our world, so our dragon stays hidden in the Hills of Donegal for all our good.

This post makes me so, so glad I live in Dublin. I couldn't imagine living in a small town at all.

I don't wanna live on a farm. i think ideally, I would like to live in a smaller town, that was close to a big city. For example *and this is a poor example, but is relative to what i'm talking about, and this isnt an area known for lgbt friendliness, but I'm gonna be going to college in Canyon, Texas, a town of about 14,000 people. Canyon, Texas is 20 minutes from Amarillo, Texas, which is the largest city in that part of Texas. Canyon is about 4 and a half hours from Oklahoma City and Albuquerque, New Mexico, 6 1/2 hours to Dallas, and 8 hours to Denver. Its a beautiful town with mostly beautiful weather, and if I want shopping or entertainment or anything, I'm no more than 8 hours or a short plane flight from multiple cities to choose from. But right now, I live in a town of 1,200 people. I've lived in a city of 300,000 and a metro area of 1.2 million, as well as a town of 50,000 people. I hate the town i'm in now, and I loved living in the cities, the town of 50,000 was okay, but not my preferred place. So I don't know

[Johnnieguy]

No, it's not possible for a gay man to be happy in a small town. I speak from experience!

[kettlkorn]

Not impossible. My town = 961 people. I =

[partietraumatic]

I'd hate to live in a small place. I grew up in Oxford which has a population of 154 000, and it seemed very small to me. A lovely place, liberal and relaxed, but definitely small, and sometimes there isn't alot to do.

I then moved to Birmingham for university, which has a population of 1million. It seems so much move alive and vibrant. I love the city. I couldn't imagine living in the country side, i'd hate it!

Big cities...GECK!!!
I hate the hustle and bustle of cities. I live out in the suburbs of North Canberra, not really densly populated. So I dont have to worry about it on a day to day basis. But whenever I go into the city, I cant stand it. Even going to Westfield at Belconnen is horrible.
I hate Sydney more than anything. My only memory of being in Sydney was a horrible experience at the Easter Show. I was probably about 7-8. There were thousands of people, packed into probably 2, maybe 3 square km. The whole place smelled of sweat, piss and vomit. I hated it so much!
I can only find 1 problem with living in a small town. I would have trouble finding a man, unless it was a densely gay populated small town.
I really want to live in Iceland one day. The whole country contains less people than Canberra! Thats my kind of life, quiet, comfortable and most of all, not reeking of sweat, piss and vomit.

[kettleoffish]

I grew up in a small town (8000 people or so) and recently I've grown to really like the place.. although I'm moving out tomorrow to go to uni ().

[Lexington]

Can you be happy? Yes, definitely. It'll be harder to find people to date'n'mate, but there are ways around that.

There was a neat documentary about being gay in rural towns. I think it was "Farm Family - In Search of Gay Life in Rural America". They talked to gay singles and couples who lived on farms and small towns. It was almost dull, which actually was a great thing. For instance, they talked to a rancher who had one employee - a gay man who helped milk the cows and whatnot. And the rancher sort of shrugged. "He's gay. It's kinda weird to me, but hey - I don't care." And the employee said "I milk the cows. I'd like to get a boyfriend, but right now, I'm enjoying the farm life." And so on.

Lex

[Chip]

I grew up on the outskirts of DC, a pretty large metropolitan area. Since then, I've lived in a bunch of places. The smallest was Oberlin, OH, population about 8000.

It all boils down to what you like about city life. I loved Oberlin because it had the quiet and quaint feel of a small town, but because of the college and conservatory, it had a lot of rich cultural activities, a world-class art gallery, a ton of concerts and other activities, and quite a diversity of people and experiences. The ten years I was there was one of the richest experiences in terms of meeting new people and expanding awareness and knowledge.

I suspect if the small town was not a college town, it could be a lot more claustrophobic or boring.

But I think some people just hate cities and others just hate small towns, so don't listen to anyone who says you absolutely will or will not be happy. For me, I know I don't like large metropolitan areas because they tend to be (for me) too crowded and intense. But I know others who hate rural areas because they are too open and sparse. So, at the end of the day, what matters is what you enjoy. I'd say try a small town (preferably a college town with a selective student body) for a couple of years and see how you like it.

[Nodnarb]

I live in a town of 56,000 (28,000 of which are college students) and really like it here. That said, it is a college town and the presence of a major university brings a lot of advantages that your average town of 50,000 doesn't have. I spent the first 13 years of my life living in a town of less than 350 people. I liked it, but I don't think I'd ever want to live somewhere that small again. After that we moved to a nearby town of about 5,000 on the outskirts of a mid-sized city (Omaha, with about 850,000 in the metro area). Of course you can be happy anywhere, but I think that's the best option. We were less than 30 minutes outside of downtown and all of the stuff in the city while living in a quite and safe small town.

I live in a suburb of St.Louis, Mo. I like it mostly for the people who are less worried about personal judgements. The local area is about 45,000 and I work in a University town 15 miles away.I have the best of both worlds I think. The gay community is not so "outspoken on major issues", but we have a good relationship with other community groups. I think where I live now is about the right size for me. Everyone has to experiment to find their own comfort zone, "bubble".