Good comebacks to gay related insults

[British Lad]

I was thinking and I thought up some good some good comebacks when somebody throws a gay related insult at you, They are as follows:
Insulter: "Fag"
You(non smoker): "no thanks I don't smoke" or You(smoker):"Yes please, do you have a light"

Insulter: "faggot"
You: "No thanks I don't like deep fried offal" or "why would I need firewood?"

Insulter: "Gayboy"
You: "Well yes I am gay and I am a boy, thanks for stating the obvious"

Insulter: "fairy"
You: "Why do I need washing up liquid?"

Insulter: "Queer"
You: "yes that (insert wierd or odd look object in plain sight here...) is odd/wierd"
Anybody else got any good comebacks that wound get you punched in the face.

*insult* Thanks needle dick. Said like you know what theres is like. xD

[Maddy]

""

It's effective. Smile at them and walk off.

[Owen]

I was walking up the stares in high school once, when someone shouted from far behind me, "Owen takes it up the ass." Without missing a beat, I turned back and shouted, "And what if I do?" You'd be surprised how well agreeing with the insulter can shut them down.

[peaceandlies]

Guys often hit on me cos they know I'm gay. the best retort there I find is 'I didn't know you swang my way', cos the typical guy who would to this is a professional homophobe.

apart from that, i just roll my eyes, and say 'obviously' and walk away doing my best dyke walk. it reduces their insult to stating of fact. and then people stare at him/her and have a slight bit more of respect for you. its been quite useful since i came out

[Lexington]

"Faggot."
"Breeder."

"Lex takes it up the ass."
"Well, I don't take YOU up the ass. I mean, I DO have standards."

I once had a bunch of guys sitting behind us yelling "faggot!" and "go back to Fire Island, you queers!" to the opposing sports team. (Why? Because they were from San Francisco. They apparently didn't know where Fire Island was...) I finally got up, walked back to them, and said "Just so you know - you've got about six faggots sitting a few rows in front of you. You might want to watch the comments, or a bunch of us will gladly take you outside, kick your ass, and then fuck what's left."

...that one shut them up pretty quick.

Lex

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Lexington

"Faggot."
"Breeder."

"Lex takes it up the ass."
"Well, I don't take YOU up the ass. I mean, I DO have standards."

I once had a bunch of guys sitting behind us yelling "faggot!" and "go back to Fire Island, you queers!" to the opposing sports team. (Why? Because they were from San Francisco. They apparently didn't know where Fire Island was...) I finally got up, walked back to them, and said "Just so you know - you've got about six faggots sitting a few rows in front of you. You might want to watch the comments, or a bunch of us will gladly take you outside, kick your ass, and then fuck what's left."

...that one shut them up pretty quick.

Lex

I never understood why Fire Island is such a known location in America. It's silly I think. I know Fire Island has the gay resort on it, but I think it's a lot bigger than just the gay resort xD Oh well. It's just such a random place to be nationally known.

[GoinStag]

Ahh this is were I come in lol...

-Insulter: You like cock/guys.
You: So? You like pussy.

-Insulter:Are you a fag?
Me:No thanks, you're not my type.

-Insulter: Don't you take it up the ass?
You:No, I play the man.

-Insulter:Wanna suck my cock faggot?
You:Wow, you must be really desperate.
---------------------------------------------
-Insulter: Dyke
You: Yeah? I get more pussy than you.

[fragomatrick]

THE BEST COMEBACK OF THEM ALL

Don't say anything back.

[Bradley James]

/\ where's the fun in that?

"Faggot" (Or any other insult)
-- At least I don't go around screaming what your dumb ass thinks is an insult as if I was an inconsiderate douchebag prick who just secretly has gay fantasies about other people. Therefore, I would gladly be a "faggot" than the pure entity of stupidity that I am talking to.

That usually shuts them up, usually because they don't understand what "inconsiderate" means and they have to think about it for two hours. ;D

[Chandra]

I haven't been in a situation where I've had to think up a comeback yet, but my girlfriend and I refer to bigots as "phobos" (e.g., "Is that guy some kind of phobo?"). I think it makes a nice balance to the insult "homo".

[darkcheesse]

me best retourt is to any insult like that is,
thats just the way you like it big boy!

[djt820]

Insult: Fag
Comeback: Call me a fag when I fucking punch you in the face, take your pants off and cut your dick off with a AIDS infected rusty knife then proceed to cut open your stomach, rip out your stomach and pour your stomach acid on your face and watch you burn. *Picks up knife* ...

[GoinStag]

"why do you care who I fuck?".

[VampConspiracy]

I don't (wouldn't) say anything. Just take in the hilarity of their idiocy and ignorance. No words needed, but being the blunt person I am...

[jazzrawr]

I just smile and say something along the lines of 'Well, duh. You just figured that out now, did you?'
If it doesn't seem to bother you, that's a pretty good comeback.

What I love doing is completely ignoring an insult. And when the insulter repeats the insult and tries to get my attention, I say; "Oh sorry, I wasnt listening. You see, I live by a strict code, that forbids prolonged communication with your kind." and then they say "Whats that supposed to mean." I say "Oh, you mean your kind? Well, lets see here. Idiots who somehow manage to function with a mental capacity barely surpassing an ant, who at even at the age of 16, have about 7 illegitimate children, with women who at the same age, have so little tread left on the tires that at this point, you couldn't call it a vagina, a more accurate description would be, a vast expanse of empty plains whose sheer width and volume rivals that of the Grand Canyon. People who lack the capacity for even substandard speech, cant spell and take 10 seconds to pronounce the word saucepan properly." (This actually happened in one of my classes, literally 10 seconds to say saucepan.) "The kind of people who have the smell of cigarette smoke rooted into their genetic code, have been pulled over for driving under the influence of imparing substances more times than they can count and havent even driven a car, and will probably die in a gang war in the next few years."
It seems to contain too many big words for any understanding on their part, however minor.

[GoinStag]

One time, me and my friend were talking in the bathroom at school (we ran into each other....not literally lol) and this guy a year older walked in and was like "You to aren't fucking each other in the ass, are you?" and I said something along the lines of "Oh, yeah. You caught me. I'm gay. In fact, you're the first person I chose to come out to." lol.

[Emberstone]

"takes one to know one" then walk away. If they throw a punch, you can just report them for assult.