Southern Hospitality?

[BeautifulStranger]

Yeah... that's a definite myth.

It's been nearly 2 months that I've lived in Virginia, which is technically the south, and nobody here invites me to do anything.
Even the "friends" I've made here. They'll go to a party and the next day I get a text: Why weren't you at the party?

Maybe because no one told me about it.

I'm getting really sick of spending weekends in my dorm by myself because no one invites me to do anything and I don't have a car.
I've tried really hard and I'm not going to invite myself into everyone else's plans because that's rude. I was raised with manners.

In fact, I'm met with more feelings of hostility than friendliness.
And when I talk about my issues, LIKE ADULTS SHOULD, people either a.) ignore me or b.) smile, nod and say everything they're supposed to but not actually changing anything.

I'm tempted to reapply and start all over again. This is ridiculous.

[RedState]

Virginia is not really part of the South.

In the real south, if you say you are from Virginia you might as well say your are from downtown New York City. Ever since they surrendered Richmond in the Spring of 1865 we have always considered them Yankee wannabes.

Actually, most of us in the deep South are very nice and go out of our way not to openly offend any one...we were brought up that it's simply tacky to do so. Granted you have your exceptions everywhere.

Virginia is by no means a representation of the entire South...thank God.

Birmingham,AL....Atlanta, Ga....Charleston, SC...Savannah Ga....just to name a few are awesome and welcoming cities.

Virginia? Blah.
West Virginia is even worse. Booo.

[Gir Zim]

I live in the south,and there is no hospitality around here. It's something i have to overlook and not allow them to take my joy. i Hope it gets better for you though,virginia is kinda northern"ish" to me

[RedState]

Originally Posted by Gir Zim

I live in the south,and there is no hospitality around here. It's something i have to overlook and not allow them to take my joy. i Hope it gets better for you though,virginia is kinda northern"ish" to me

Myrtle Beach eh? The Empire that Burroughs and Chapin built.
Not the same since The Pavilion was torn down.

Well, I've never had any problem. I guess it's because Birmingham society revolves around alcohol and all of the socialites are raging drunks...last year Dianne Woodward ran out of Gin at one of her parties and she was dirt in Mountain Brook for months.

Bitch...the gall.

[kettlkorn]

I know the expression is "southern hospitality" but I think it speaks more of a generation than a specific region. The people that grew up in the 40's and 50's to be exact. My grandparents are the very definition of southern hospitality and they've lived in Ohio their whole lives. Be it the north, south, east or west, there will always be people who are generous and people who are assholes. It just depends on who you happen to run into on that day.

[Jonathan]

From my own experience, I do believe southern hospitality does exist. When I was in 8th grade, I went down to Biloxi Mississippi with my dad, stepmom, and stepsisters on vacation. We went with my stepsisters' dad (Brian) and their stepmom. When we got down to Biloxi, we stayed with Brian's family who lives down there. Keep in mind, I am completely nothing to these people. I am the son of the man who is now married to the ex-wife of their brother...and yet, they treated me as if I was family. In fact, everyone I met down there was nothing but kind to me. I've been down there several more times since then and they've come up here and I've never been treated any different. In fact, I consider them family now as well. So, yea...I do beleive that southern hospitality does exist.

Now that my anecdote is over, on to your actual problem. Personally, I would ask the friends that you made down there to text you the next time they find out about a party. From the texts they send you the next day, they obviously think that you should be there so they should be more than happy to let you know when they find out about a party. If they don't know you want to go to the parties, you cant blame them for not telling you about them.

[x2x2x2x2y2]

Maybe your friends think that you don't like parties because you're not at them?? Ask your friends to tell you the next time there's a party because you're interested. I doubt they'd say no.

[Gir Zim]

Originally Posted by bamaboy

Myrtle Beach eh? The Empire that Burroughs and Chapin built.
Not the same since The Pavilion was torn down.

Well, I've never had any problem. I guess it's because Birmingham society revolves around alcohol and all of the socialites are raging drunks...last year Dianne Woodward ran out of Gin at one of her parties and she was dirt in Mountain Brook for months.

Bitch...the gall.

LoL you're right!!! I geuss i shouldn't expect much from a tourist area with retired golfers as locals :| but i still love it here

[Rikudo]

Sounds like it's more the friends than the region. I've got a great buddy from the south and he's so friendly and easy to get along with. Whenever I've been down to Missouri with him it's always great.

[BeautifulStranger]

Originally Posted by bamaboy

Virginia is not really part of the South.

It's below the Mason Dixon line... it technically is.

I'm know there are fantastic kind people. A good friend of mine back in Michigan is from South Carolina, and although he can be a major ass, he's also one of the warmest and nicest people I need.

I've raised a fuss about them not telling me about parties and they're like, "Oh! I'm so sorry! I'll be sure to let you know next time!"
But they don't.

I have enough issues with self-confidence and the fact that nobody talks to me/invites me to do anything really doesn't help me.

I don't know... I started looking into colleges with reputable musical theatre programs last night (specifically in the Midwest). My one issue is most of them don't accept video auditions and I certainly can't drive 10+ hours to an audition if I don't have a car. :/

[lostinthought9]

I kinda know how you feel. My friends and I all went our seperate directions after graduation, and we ended up in all different colleges. So, like you, I found myself sitting in my dorm room with nothing to do. So, I decided to join the Debate Team, and I made some really great friends there. My point is, maybe try joining something? I understand that you're a theatre major, and that's in a sense "involved" in activites; but, maybe try joining something else, since those "friends" don't seem very nice?

It's hard for me to imagine you having difficulty making friends. You seem like an outgoing person...

Oh, and about Southern Hospitality...
-I wouldn't consider Virginia very "southern"
-You will have douchebags everywhere you go (North, South, East, and West)
-Don't let Virginia represent the South as a whole.

I know Southern Hospitality exists. At my school, whenever we had a Foreign Exchange student attend, they were always treated very kindly and welcomed by everyone.

[BeautifulStranger]

No, I know and I've tried.
I audition for anything there's an audition for. Like this Tuesday are the junior directing project auditions, and I'm going to those.
I always make friends in a show, so I'm hoping.

[RedState]

Well...maybe you are trying to run "with the wrong crowd" so-to-speak, i don't know.

It can get frustrating, because it comes to the point where you think your just being played, and worse, a bother.

You say you rase a fuss about not knowing about a party.
I might keep that "raising a fuss" in check...because you don't want to become known as the guy they talk about by saying: "Well, let's take him along so he won't bitch and moan" You want them to invite you to things because they want to, not because they feel they have to....and real friends never feel forced to invite another friend to anything.

You say you always make friends in a show, which is probably because you have very similar interests...and when you are in a new place (I'm assuming you're just starting where you are) it's a lot easier to make good friends in that kind of setting.

Good luck! Hope it gets better.

[Tezcatlipoca]

Sorry to be the voice of reason here, but parts of Virginia are definitely belonging to the south. Just not NOVA. I mean, you can't expect to be so close to DC and expect southern style to be the norm; it's just too diluted. If you want hospitality in Va, head to the BRM; people out here are nice. Though no guarantee on the number of teeth you'll find .

[Bryan44]

Im not gonna say that Virginia isn't part of the South, but I dont think you will find any Southern Hospitality there...I think there is more of that in the deep South, like where I live everyone is really nice and all. But just like everywhere, people will be rude regardless of what region you live in.

[Black Cat]

Having lived in the south for a while when I was growing up, I felt similarly about the supposed "welcoming" attitudes they seem to have. There were loads of nice people when I lived in Alabama, but there were an almost equal share of jerks mixed in with them.

I think it is mostly the times we are living in - coupled with the fact that the "Good Old Southern Hospitality" is overplayed anyway. No one seems to take the time to be welcoming and hospitable anymore. However, that being said there are rare gems of people out there who are very kind. Maybe you've just had some bad luck when it comes to hospitality?

Just my take on the subject.

[UserName]

Well I've never lived in the north or any other part of the country except for SC so I can't comment too much on that, but I would like to think that people here do have to an extent some Southern Hospitality. However, I plan on moving after I graduate in a year haha.

[xequar]

Southern hospitality is very real... IF you're a straight white Christian, preferably male.

If you're not these things, then "Southern hospitality" is total bullshit. My travels in the South showed me that Southerners are the biggest bunch of two-faced sister fucking liars I've ever come across. They pretend to be nice, but it's all just an act.

I much prefer Northerners in that regard. If you come to Detroit or Chicago, there's no pretense of false pleasantry. If someone doesn't like you, you'll know it, and if someone does like you, then it's genuine. I've said that Michiganders are all assholes, but at least we're honest about it.

[RedState]

Originally Posted by xequar

Southern hospitality is very real... IF you're a straight white Christian, preferably male.

If you're not these things, then "Southern hospitality" is total bullshit. My travels in the South showed me that Southerners are the biggest bunch of two-faced sister fucking liars I've ever come across. They pretend to be nice, but it's all just an act.

I much prefer Northerners in that regard. If you come to Detroit or Chicago, there's no pretense of false pleasantry. If someone doesn't like you, you'll know it, and if someone does like you, then it's genuine. I've said that Michiganders are all assholes, but at least we're honest about it.

Being from The South I will say that's a little harsh...and a little offensive to be honest.

You will come across asses and bitches, and two-faced people no matter where your travels take you..be that in Birmingham or Detroit.

[FinallyOut22]

The SOUTH can be ok, if ur in Florida lol that is it. Alabama is the worst state ever, I can not wait to move from this sorry place.