Age difference poll - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Pseudojim · 8th Oct 2010, 12:43 AM

So, without going into any details, i've met a gorgeous and way way cool 18 year old girl i really like.

Will dating this girl make me look like an unconscionable sleazebag? (i am soon to be 26)

**Lexington** · 8th Oct 2010, 08:34 AM

I'm looking for the button marked "if you care more about whether some people will consider you an unconscionable sleazebag than about this girl, then you probably shouldn't date her".

Lex

**Helen** · 8th Oct 2010, 08:41 AM

I don't think so, to be honest. I've always preferred older men (although my boyfriend is actually a year younger than me, but that's quite an anomaly for me

), and in my opinion, you're both adults, and once you're both over 18 the age difference doesn't have nearly as much of a bad vibe as it would do if she were still under 18.

djt820 · 8th Oct 2010, 10:21 AM

No. Get on that 18 year old ass.

**Gerry** · 8th Oct 2010, 01:03 PM

No I don't think so at all.

xCrazyInsanity · 8th Oct 2010, 01:23 PM

Be one, no.
LOOK LIKE ONE, yes.

Black Cat · 8th Oct 2010, 03:56 PM

As long as she's over the legal age of consent in your area then it's fine in my book. I don't think that looks too bad if she's 18.

GoinStag · 8th Oct 2010, 04:08 PM

Jesus Christ I can't believe people actually worry about age difference. It's not your fault, it's the people who say it's wrong's fault. The only issue with age difference, is there may not be a whole lot in common depending on the age difference. Other than that, a 20 year old could date a 2,000 year old and it would be perfectly fine. It just probably wouldn't work out.

If you both feel comfortable with it, that's all that matters. Plain and simple.

Pseudojim · 8th Oct 2010, 04:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexington

I'm looking for the button marked "if you care more about whether some people will consider you an unconscionable sleazebag than about this girl, then you probably shouldn't date her".

Lex

haha, relax, this is merely curiosity, i would never let such trivial nonsense deter me in even the most minor way. I was however, having a discussion with a bit of a traditionalist friend of mine, which turned into a debate, and i made this thread to test the public waters and prove my point

**Chip** · 8th Oct 2010, 05:23 PM

18 and 26 is on the edge in my book but honestly if the two of you feel a connection, if she is a mature 18 year old, and if the relationship feels like it could be relatively balanced, then give it a shot.

As far as what other people think... that isn't what matters. What matters is that you and she are both happy, and that the relationship really is healthy and beneficial to the growth of both of you.

Pseudojim · 8th Oct 2010, 06:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Chip

18 and 26 is on the edge in my book but honestly if the two of you feel a connection, if she is a mature 18 year old, and if the relationship feels like it could be relatively balanced, then give it a shot.

i wouldn't even bother if all of those boxes weren't checked =)

booby · 9th Oct 2010, 09:20 AM

my sister wants a guy whose at least 5 years older than her (when she wants to get married) .. she wants someone she can feel safe and protected with , someone more mature

i guess some girls like that

personally , id love to be with an older guy

Johnnieguy · 9th Oct 2010, 06:11 PM

I don't know..I am 23 and I think it would be weird to date someone under 20 or 21. That being said, it isn't like you're 30...Or 39. 8 years is quite a big age gap. You were 7 or 8 when she was born. When you graduated high school, she was 10 years old. When you graduated college, she was just learning how to drive.

Something to consider.

Z3ni · 9th Oct 2010, 06:22 PM

Its not that wierd.. coz I would date someone twice my age lol..... I blame Self Esteem.. stupid bitch.

invincibletoday · 9th Oct 2010, 10:12 PM

If she wants a relationship with you equally as much than it really shouldn't be an issue. In all honesty, she's legal so it's not really anyone else's business apart from the two of you. Even if some people may sort of judge you for it.

Lychee · 9th Oct 2010, 10:39 PM

Probably not what you want to hear, but yeah, I reckon it may make you look sleazy.
As an 18 year old girl, if one of my friends started dating a 26 year old, I know that we'd all get together and be like "Oh my god, why are they even together" as has happened when our 17 year old friend started dating a 22 year old, however, once we realised that the relationship was more than just about him using her for sex and her using him for his car and money we are fine with it.
But yeah, initially the reaction will be thinking about why the two of you are together.
I'm not saying don't go for it - I reckon you should - but be prepared that people will question your relationship.

x2x2x2x2y2 · 9th Oct 2010, 11:43 PM

I don't think it's weird.

Most the guys that I'm attracted to are in their twenties. I'm very rarely attracted to guys around my age.

rachob1 · 10th Oct 2010, 06:49 AM

my ex was 24 i'm 32 soon, same age gap as yourselves. so long as you both mature about the relationship, and want the same things from it , go for it

Courtneyyy · 10th Oct 2010, 11:39 PM

It shouldn't matter. But it does kinda seem like a big age difference. Like, if you both were like 5 years older it wouldn't be a big deal. But, I feel someone at 18 is still young, I'm only 21 and I've definitely grown up a lot in the past three years.

Don't let my opinion stop you. Go for it!!

sexyalex · 11th Oct 2010, 11:02 PM

Oh cool. My bf happens to be 26 and I am 18

I was like wow. That's me and St. Clair. But, I never thought about it because when I am with him I don't notice the age difference. I see him as a peer more than someone older than me. I mean, 8 years on me is nothing.
Its not like he is old enough to be my father or anything; right?

View Poll Results: Will dating an 18yr old girl make me look like an unconscionable sleazebag?
Yes	8	14.81%
No	46	85.19%
Voters: 54. You may not vote on this poll

8th Oct 2010, 12:43 AM	#1
Pseudojim Part robot Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bi - Kinsey 2ish Out Status: All but family Location: Australia Age: 27 Posts: 2,154 Join Date: Sep 2009	Age difference poll So, without going into any details, i've met a gorgeous and way way cool 18 year old girl i really like. Will dating this girl make me look like an unconscionable sleazebag? (i am soon to be 26)

8th Oct 2010, 08:34 AM	#2
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Age difference poll I'm looking for the button marked "if you care more about whether some people will consider you an unconscionable sleazebag than about this girl, then you probably shouldn't date her". Lex

8th Oct 2010, 08:41 AM	#3
Helen Empty Closets Mod EC Moderator Gender: Female Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Inconsequential if people know. Location: York, United Kingdom Age: 19 Posts: 2,102 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: Age difference poll I don't think so, to be honest. I've always preferred older men (although my boyfriend is actually a year younger than me, but that's quite an anomaly for me ), and in my opinion, you're both adults, and once you're both over 18 the age difference doesn't have nearly as much of a bad vibe as it would do if she were still under 18. __________________ I want a window where I can see a tree, or even water... (....and the lesbians)

8th Oct 2010, 10:21 AM	#4
djt820 Brutally Honest Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: DICKS EVERYWHERE Out Status: Like A Cock Slapping Your Face Kind-of Out. Location: SoCal Age: 19 Posts: 1,282 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: Age difference poll No. Get on that 18 year old ass. __________________

8th Oct 2010, 01:03 PM	#5
Gerry We're all a little mad! EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Some people Location: Las Vegas Age: 24 Posts: 5,551 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: Age difference poll No I don't think so at all. __________________ "Everybody's journey is individual. If you fall in love with a boy, you fall in love with a boy. The fact that many Americans consider it a disease says more about them than it does about homosexuality".-James Baldwin

8th Oct 2010, 01:23 PM	#6
xCrazyInsanity Gay, no. Fabulous, totally. Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pansexual Out Status: All BUT family Location: South-East Pennsylvania Age: 17 Posts: 750 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: Age difference poll Be one, no. LOOK LIKE ONE, yes. __________________ This is love, this is not treason.

8th Oct 2010, 03:56 PM	#7
Black Cat As Seen On Hoarders... Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: This cat is out of the bag - I mean closet Location: Pennsylvania, with the cows Age: 21 Posts: 2,391 Join Date: Jun 2009	Re: Age difference poll As long as she's over the legal age of consent in your area then it's fine in my book. I don't think that looks too bad if she's 18. __________________ "Your life is an occasion. Rise to it." - Mr. Magorium

8th Oct 2010, 04:08 PM	#8
GoinStag I'm straight now............sikeeee Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guy fetish Out Status: Parents, siblings, and therapist Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan Age: 18 Posts: 1,485 Join Date: May 2010	Re: Age difference poll Jesus Christ I can't believe people actually worry about age difference. It's not your fault, it's the people who say it's wrong's fault. The only issue with age difference, is there may not be a whole lot in common depending on the age difference. Other than that, a 20 year old could date a 2,000 year old and it would be perfectly fine. It just probably wouldn't work out. If you both feel comfortable with it, that's all that matters. Plain and simple. __________________ *I've been thinking 'bout this all day long, Never felt a feeling quite this strong...I can't believe how much it turns me on, Just to be your man...*

8th Oct 2010, 05:23 PM	#10
Chip EC Advisor EC Admin Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: northern CA Posts: 5,578 Join Date: May 2008	Re: Age difference poll 18 and 26 is on the edge in my book but honestly if the two of you feel a connection, if she is a mature 18 year old, and if the relationship feels like it could be relatively balanced, then give it a shot. As far as what other people think... that isn't what matters. What matters is that you and she are both happy, and that the relationship really is healthy and beneficial to the growth of both of you.

9th Oct 2010, 09:20 AM	#12
booby wonderful cuz i am )': Regular Member Gender: boy Orientation: so gay i pee glitter! Out Status: some ppl :) Location: Palestinian living in Saudi Arabia Age: 16 Posts: 160 Join Date: Jun 2010	Re: Age difference poll my sister wants a guy whose at least 5 years older than her (when she wants to get married) .. she wants someone she can feel safe and protected with , someone more mature i guess some girls like that personally , id love to be with an older guy

9th Oct 2010, 06:11 PM	#13
Johnnieguy EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Twin Cities, MN Age: 25 Posts: 510 Join Date: Jan 2010	Re: Age difference poll I don't know..I am 23 and I think it would be weird to date someone under 20 or 21. That being said, it isn't like you're 30...Or 39. 8 years is quite a big age gap. You were 7 or 8 when she was born. When you graduated high school, she was 10 years old. When you graduated college, she was just learning how to drive. Something to consider. __________________ Minnesota Vikings: 2010 de facto Super Bowl Champions!

9th Oct 2010, 06:22 PM	#14
Z3ni Ec's ADD Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gayish Out Status: My Twin Location: England, Manchester Posts: 3,080 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: Age difference poll Its not that wierd.. coz I would date someone twice my age lol..... I blame Self Esteem.. stupid bitch. __________________ Through pain, lies success.

9th Oct 2010, 10:12 PM	#15
invincibletoday Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Fully out! Location: Toronto Age: 19 Posts: 53 Join Date: Jul 2010	Re: Age difference poll If she wants a relationship with you equally as much than it really shouldn't be an issue. In all honesty, she's legal so it's not really anyone else's business apart from the two of you. Even if some people may sort of judge you for it. __________________ Sam

9th Oct 2010, 10:39 PM	#16
Lychee EC Addict Full Member Gender: Spazmatazz Orientation: Friendspage Location: Contrabassoon Posts: 1,739 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: Age difference poll Probably not what you want to hear, but yeah, I reckon it may make you look sleazy. As an 18 year old girl, if one of my friends started dating a 26 year old, I know that we'd all get together and be like "Oh my god, why are they even together" as has happened when our 17 year old friend started dating a 22 year old, however, once we realised that the relationship was more than just about him using her for sex and her using him for his car and money we are fine with it. But yeah, initially the reaction will be thinking about why the two of you are together. I'm not saying don't go for it - I reckon you should - but be prepared that people will question your relationship. __________________ We we we so excited.

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9th Oct 2010, 11:43 PM	#17
x2x2x2x2y2 PARAWHORE!!!!!! Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: ~I like guys~ Out Status: Everyone, pretty much. Location: Wonderland (and California, USA) Age: 18 Posts: 3,971 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: Age difference poll I don't think it's weird. Most the guys that I'm attracted to are in their twenties. I'm very rarely attracted to guys around my age. __________________ "THINGS ARE LOOKING UP, OH FINALLY!!" "I believe that there's hope buried beneath it all and...Hiding beneath it all and... GROWING beneath it all!!" -Paramore ...and the lesbians

10th Oct 2010, 06:49 AM	#18
rachob1 Member Regular Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: to everyone that matters Location: Liverpool Age: 33 Posts: 55 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: Age difference poll my ex was 24 i'm 32 soon, same age gap as yourselves. so long as you both mature about the relationship, and want the same things from it , go for it

10th Oct 2010, 11:39 PM	#19
Courtneyyy ColbieMarie Full Member Gender: GIRL Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Mom, brother and close friends Location: Flagstaff, AZ Age: 23 Posts: 975 Join Date: Jan 2009	Re: Age difference poll It shouldn't matter. But it does kinda seem like a big age difference. Like, if you both were like 5 years older it wouldn't be a big deal. But, I feel someone at 18 is still young, I'm only 21 and I've definitely grown up a lot in the past three years. Don't let my opinion stop you. Go for it!! __________________

11th Oct 2010, 11:02 PM	#20
sexyalex Fame Monster copy No.2 Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: attracted to anyone sexy Out Status: only my friends know. Location: Kingston Age: 20 Posts: 1,410 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: Age difference poll Oh cool. My bf happens to be 26 and I am 18 I was like wow. That's me and St. Clair. But, I never thought about it because when I am with him I don't notice the age difference. I see him as a peer more than someone older than me. I mean, 8 years on me is nothing. Its not like he is old enough to be my father or anything; right? __________________ I know that we are young and I know that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this anymore. Alejandro.