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I wrote a story!

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by Bario, Oct 13, 2010.

  1. Bario

    Bario Guest

    I got bored thisafternoon, and decided to write a short story. I think it is pretty good for something written in a few hours, but I am not a very good writer, so its pretty crap. I felt like posting it on EC, it seems appropriate, and seeying what people think. There are probably a fair few gramatical and spelling errors, I didnt bother proof reading.
    Enjoy.
    I call it: When it rains, it pours.

    A car pulled slowly into the drive, an argument was unfolding inside. The driver side door flew open, and a woman stepped out into the rain.
    ‘We just can’t have him here much longer, we don’t have the space”, the woman’s tone made it hard to argue.
    ‘Where is he supposed to go then? He can’t go back home, he can’t support himself. This is the only place he has’, the boy possessed the same quality of voice as his mother, and he could easily defy her.
    ‘Doesn’t he have any relatives nearby?’
    ‘No Mum, we have been over this before, his grandparents live in Queensland. He can’t go to live with them, I need him here, and he needs me.’
    The woman could not deny this, the two needed each other, and they were rarely seen apart. She couldn’t bring herself to separate them, but she had no other choice. They had done fine for themselves, she could easily support herself, her two sons and her daughter, but this other boy put a strain on her budget. She had started working overtime to keep the family afloat, but she could only barely keep up with the expenses.
    ‘We’ll talk about it later. Go and see if he is feeling any better, he can’t stay sick for long, or we’ll all be paying for it. I’ll be in the study, working, earning my keep, which I so generously share with you all.’ Her sarcastic tone went unnoticed by the boy as he opened the door and sped inside.

    The house was silent; the only sound that could be heard was the quite tap of a fly against the window, and a curious creaking sound. As the front door opened, its loud hinges spread their cry across the house bounding off the high roof and the beams overhead, followed by the quiet scuffle of feet on carpet, the slow, rhythmic tap of heels on tiles, a small squeak as a door opened, and a cry.

    The rain pooled in the gutter, the drain had been blocked for days, but nobody had bothered to do anything about it. A boy sat deep in thought under an umbrella, waiting for the bus. He was a handsome boy, his slightly rounded face capped by his messy blonde hair. He had always hated being blonde, it seemed to give people the impression that he thought he was better than them. A troubled look on his face, he contemplated the difficult decision he would have to make soon. He didn’t savour the thoughts.
    A few minutes passed, and the familiar whirr of a large, old engine could be heard. The bus rounded the corner, it slowed as it reached the bus stop, and the doors opened with a hiss. The boy took down his umbrella, shook a few droplets off and stepped onto the bus. As he had expected, the ticket machine was broken once again, the driver gestured towards it, with an expression that could only be interpreted as, ‘Yes, it’s broken, again, just get on.’ The boy took a few steps down the aisle, located the person he was looking for, and rushed to sit down.
    He looked up into the face of the person next to him, and he noted the addition of a slight graze on the left cheek.
    ‘What happened?’ His voice radiated a slight air of innocence.
    ‘What?’ This boy seemed to be speaking through a large cone; his voice was deep, but not menacing.
    ‘Your cheek, it’s scratched.’
    ‘Oh, this? It’s nothing, just a scratch from Rosie. Do I get a good morning?’ His tone, although playful, left a feeling of seriousness in the air.
    ‘Oh, sorry, good morning David, how are you today?’
    ‘I am very well today, how ‘bout you Adam?’ David replied.
    ‘I’m good. Did you get your essay done yet? I almost have it finished; I just need to touch it up a bit.’
    ‘Yep, it’s all done and dusted. It wasn’t as hard as I figured it was going to be.’
    To anyone listening, this was a simple chat, but to the boys, it was somehow special.
    A few stops down the road a pair of girls got on, they were twins, and could barely be told apart. Only one who had known the two for years would be able to name them correctly. They sat down in front of the two boys, and joined the morning conversation.
    The bus ride was longer than usual, the rain had traffic backed up, and nobody was getting anywhere. The bus lurched to a halt; the driver had slammed the brake down as soon as he had seen the boy running after the bus, late as usual. He got on, rummaged in his bag for his ticket, found it and put it away again when he realised the machine was broken. His sandy hair was soaked through; he hadn’t realised he would need an umbrella, and even if he had, he wouldn’t have bothered using it. He took a seat across the aisle from the group, and one of the twins moved from her seat to sit next to him. They exchanged a slightly awkward kiss, causing the rest of the groups eyes to roll up, and joined back into the conversation.
    After what seemed like an eternity, they bus finally arrived at the groups stop. They stepped out into the pouring rain, opened their umbrellas and set off across the road. Adam and David shared an umbrella, the twins each had their own, and the mousy haired boy walked in the rain, as usual. The conversation continued on the topic of school, until one of the twins made a sudden and surprising topic change.
    ‘Adam, when are you going to talk to your Dad about things? He deserves to know.’ Her face painted a picture of concern, not uncommon when she nosed into others affairs as she often did.
    The two boys under the umbrella stopped abruptly, the rest of the group took a few steps before noticing. They could all see that she had hit a nerve, and they weren’t looking forward to the result.
    The other girl piped up quickly, ‘Shut up Amy, it’s none of your business! You are so rude sometimes.’ A look of embarrassment and anger at her sister’s comment spread across her face.
    ‘Don’t tell me you haven’t thought about this too. He needs to talk to his Dad Jess, we all know it. Come on Sam, back me up here.’ She looked over to the boy, a look of desperation on her face.
    ‘Well, y’know, I guess so. But you don’t need to bring it up Amy, it’s his problem, and his problem only.’ He struggled under the burning glare of his girlfriend, but he didn’t want to upset the other boys.
    ‘What? I was trying to help; he obviously isn’t handling the situation very well himself.’
    This was the last thing she should have said; she had hit a high strung nerve. Sam and Jess braced for the furious argument that was sure to follow, but to their surprise, nothing happened. David made a move to say something, but was quickly stopped by Adam.
    ‘I don’t want any trouble this morning, let’s just forget about it, okay?’ This was the last thing anyone had expected to come out of Adams mouth. In the past Amy’s meddling had always been met with a burning comment from Adam, and an argument would always ensue.
    ‘O-okay.’ The others were too bewildered to say anything else.

    The rest of the walk to school was uneventful; conversation had come to a stand-still, and the group walked in silence, broken only by a quiet argument between the girls. The rain had let up slightly, but was still cascading down.
    When the group finally arrived at school, Adam split off and went in a different direction, shortly followed by David. ‘What’s wrong Adam? You should have given Amy a real branding back there. Is something going on?’ David’s usually confident tone was edged with worry.
    A sigh escaped from Adams mouth, ‘It’s nothing, okay? Just forget about it.’
    ‘Something is the matter, why won’t you tell me?’ David was starting to get worked up now. He had always been the one who did the worrying, Adam’s pain had always been his pain.
    ‘I just can’t do it, I just can’t. I don’t know what I’m going to do’, he shuffled his feet, ‘I don’t know how you did it, but I can’t.’
    David knew instantly what he was talking about; Adam could never talk to his dad about anything, no matter how urgent. He never had a strong relationship with his father, and it was made even weaker when his mother died. A large tumour had been found in her lung, but it was found too late, and was inoperable. Both Adam and his father had been affected by her passing, but it hit Adam the worst. He could talk to her about important things; she was the only person he could confide in. This had happened almost 3 years ago, around a month after the boys got together.
    A tear trailed slowly down Adams cheek, and he began shaking. David took him into his arms, holding him gently, but firmly. This doused the boys shaking, and calmed him down slightly.
    ‘Adam, you know you have to do this, maybe not today, or tomorrow, but it has to happen eventually. I know it’s scary; I was scared when I told my family, but it felt great once it was over with. You don’t have to do it alone, I’m here for you. I didn’t have anyone when I told them, but I did it anyway. You just have to suck it up, and get it over with.’ He said it in a stern tone. Adam had to do this, it was going to happen.

    The day passed without incident, the mornings happenings were forgotten, and the group had reconciled. They had conveniently synchronised classes on Mondays, so they all finished at the same time, they met at the bus stop and talked for a short while. There wasn’t a bus that went where everyone was headed; Amy and Sam caught a bus to his house, whereas Adam, David and Jess caught a bus going in a different direction. Jess got off at her stop, leaving Adam and David alone on the bus. Their stop was one of the last on the buses route, so they were always the last people left on the bus.

    The two boys were in bed when David’s mother arrived home. David’s sister was at home most afternoons, but this afternoon she was out with her friends, and this gave the boys some time alone in the house. Normally, the loud screech of the front door would alert them that someone was home, but they were far too engrossed in what they were doing to notice. His mother opened the bedroom door, and was shocked; the sight of the two in bed together wasn’t unusual to her, but the sight of the boys in bed in these circumstances was unwelcome, at the least. The boys made a futile attempt to cover up, and David was dragged out of bed by the ear. Without even a chance to cover up, he was subjected to a long, stern, and above all, loud lecture from his mother, after which he was allowed back out of her sight, provided he put his pants back on.
    They were called out to dinner not long after, and made an awkward trip to the dinner table. David was expecting a further lecture from his mother, directed at both the boys, and was surprised when she began a conversation about something entirely different. She had decided it best not to talk about the afternoons events while David’s sister, Kate, was at the dinner table. Later that night, the boys decided to finish what they had started earlier that afternoon. By morning, Adam had made a decision, he would have to talk to his father, and it would happen soon.

    Adam finished school early on Thursdays; he had only a few classes. He made his way home, and used the extra time alone to plan what he was going to do that night. His dad needed to know, he deserved to know. Adam wasn’t even sure whether or not he knew already; his dad had always said that he and David were chummier than most friends. He took the whole afternoon to plan it, and he set out exactly what he was going to say to his father. He didn’t know how he would take it, but he would find out soon.

    The rain had been going for days, with no end in sight. Gutters were flooded, drains were clogged, and the ground everywhere was a thick mush. You wouldn’t be able to tell for the clouds, but the sun was just beginning to set when Kate heard the doorbell. Grumbling, she got up from what she was doing to answer the door. Standing at the doorstep, soaked to the bone, a defeated look on his battered face, was the last person she expected to see.
    ‘Can I see David please?’ Adam asked, nearly inaudible through the rain.
    ‘Um, sure.’ Her voice trailed away slightly. ‘I’ll go and get him.’
    After a minute or so, David ran out into the rain. He was completely lost for words, but he didn’t need to say anything, the situation was obvious.
    Adam was sleeping in David’ bed, he’d had a shower, and had changed into some of David’s clothes. They were too big for him, but he felt safe wearing them. A conversation could faintly be heard coming from the kitchen.
    ‘Why can’t he stay? He has nowhere else to go. You can’t send him out into the rain after what he has just been through!’ David was in a fury.
    ‘There just isn’t room, he can stay for a few days, but he has to go soon, we just can’t have him here.’ Her words were sharp, but didn’t faze David at all.
    ‘I don’t see the problem with it. If he sleeps in Dave’s room, he won’t be taking up any space at all’, David’s brother Tom retorted
    ‘That isn’t the problem. We have the space, but I can’t hold up all of you. We are just barely paying the bills as is, we can’t have another one living here.’ Her usually definite voice was edged with a pleading tone.
    ‘I won’t let you kick him out Mum. We will just have to find a way to keep things going, I’m sure one more person won’t make a difference.’ David put an edge on this, making it final.
    Neither David nor Adam slept well that night.

    Adam had a cold from walking through the rain, and stayed back from school. He wouldn’t have gone even if he was well. He slept most of the day, until David got home from school. He was affected by the night before almost as much as Adam, he couldn’t imagine how Adam felt, but he knew it was much worse than he did. Their friends hadn’t believed him when he told them that Adam was staying home sick, it was true, but now the entire story. They had pestered him into telling them about the night previous, and they had listened to him intently. Soon after David entered the room, he was followed by Amy, Jess and Sam. He turned away from them; he didn’t want them to see him right now.
    ‘Adam, we just want to help, please.’ This was Amy, the first to start talking as usual.
    ‘Amy, if he doesn’t want to talk, he doesn’t have to’, she snapped. ‘Would you like us to leave, Adam?
    Adam shook his head, he wasn’t up to talking, but he wanted their company. Sam was shuffling on the spot, he was soaked and dripping all over the carpet. David left the room and came back shortly with a towel.
    ‘Hey, Adam, mate, I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but just know that we are here for you.’ Sam, not one to be ‘touchy-feely’ about things, was fidgeting with the towel uneasily.
    Adam burst into tears, sobs wracking his body. David rushed to embrace him, ‘You guys had better go now. I’ll see you on Monday?’
    Lost for words the trio quickly left the room, and slowly made their way out of the house. That weekend they visited again, but didn’t stay long, they couldn’t stand to see Adam in this state.

    Weeks passed, Adam had gone back to school, but was once again sick. He lay in bed listening to the conversation outside the door.
    ‘Mum, where is he supposed to go?’ David and his mother were arguing again, this had become a frequent occurrence.
    ‘Can’t he stay with some relatives? Maybe he can go home?’
    David was shocked by this, Adam couldn’t go home, not after what had happened. They had gone over the Tuesday after the incident; Adam’s father had let David’s mother in to pick up some clothes, but he wasn’t going to let Adam or David in the house.
    ‘You know he can’t go home, and his only relatives are his grandparents, and they live in Queensland.’
    ‘Well I don’t know where he is going to go, but he can’t stay here much longer.’
    That last statement pierced through Adam like a knife. David argued with her further, but Adam heard nothing else.

    David and Kate were at school, Tom and their mother were at work. The house was silent, Rosie could be heard barking at something in the backyard, a fly banged against a window. Adam had been looking around the house all day, and had finally found what he was looking for out in the shed. He tied the knot, and slung it over one of the beams beneath the high ceiling. A faint scraping noise could be heard; scrape and clunk. Anyone who looked through the right window would see nobody in the house, but a vague shape gently swinging from the rafters.

    A car came to a stop outside, and an argument could be heard through the patter of the rain. The house was silent; the only sound that could be heard was the quite tap of a fly against a window, and a curious creaking sound. As the front door opened, its loud hinges spread their cry across the house bounding off the high roof and the beams overhead, followed by the quiet scuffle of feet on carpet, the slow, rhythmic tap of heels on tiles, a small squeak as a door opened, and a cry.


    So, tell me what you think. I want honest opinions, good and bad.
     
  2. x2x2x2x2y2

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    Re: I writted a story!

    Awww the ending was sad. :frowning2: A really good story though.
     
  3. malachite

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    Nice opening!!! It really makes you want to know whats next.
     
  4. alan t

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    very well written story!
    the ending was sad though :frowning2: