What are big turn OFF's for you? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

**Owen** · 13th Dec 2010, 04:36 PM

Since we already have a thread for talking about what are big turn on's for you, I figure we might as well bring some balance to the chit chat section with a thread about big turn-off's. What don't you like in your sex of interest? What actions, personality traits, or aspects of appearance will keep you from being interested in someone?

So as to avoid influencing the general mood of this thread, I will wait to post my own turn-offs until some responses have been posted.

TyPod · 13th Dec 2010, 04:37 PM

Overly cockiness.

13th Dec 2010, 04:39 PM

Long hair.

Although, this guy I am crushing on is the only exception I have ever met. He's so funny, and cute. <3

I always have exceptions with turn offs and turn ons. Yay inconsistency!

IsItSo · 13th Dec 2010, 04:46 PM

What Steven said. Guys with long hair can look good, but I won't feel any sexual attraction to them.

Ridiculous · 13th Dec 2010, 04:47 PM

I'm very particular about feet.. there's a fine line for me between gorgeous feet and feet I revile.

Stuie · 13th Dec 2010, 04:51 PM

Incredibly stupid people. If I can't like them on a friendly level, I couldn't like them any deeper.

Nomad187 · 13th Dec 2010, 04:54 PM

stupid, cocky or just an asshole in general.

excuseyou77 · 13th Dec 2010, 05:05 PM

Assholery and douchebaggery.

Revan · 13th Dec 2010, 05:05 PM

1. Smokers - you can smell it on every part of them, and I just revile it. I don't want to taste smoke when I kiss you.
2. Alcoholics - yeah I don't want to deal with you being violent to me or not having control of your own actions. Get some fucking help!
3. Druggies - I'm not really a fan of pot smokers even, but if that's ur buzz I guess I'll deal. But doing acid, coke, crack, etc means you're basically trying to purposefully ruin your life so get away from mine.
4. Cockiness - I don't care about how hot you look in the mirror, I don't care how big your dick is, I don't care how hot you think you are, all that should matter is how hot I think you are, and that I like you for you, not all your "godliness"
5. Ignorance - We deal with enough shit being gay, you picking on other people for being too fat, or ugly or w/e pisses me off.
6. Religious Affinity - Listen, I respect your religion, but just because you're my boyfriend doesn't mean I'm going to convert to your religion. I have my own beliefs and I'm sticking to them >_>
7. The ones who don't plan to ever come out - this is pretty plain and simple, it's one thing to make me wait for you to come out, especially when I still need to tell my own parents, but if you're NEVER going to come out then what's the point? It'll feel more like I'm in a secret affair than an actual relationship.

**Mogget** · 13th Dec 2010, 05:07 PM

Hats. Can't stand 'em.

TheRoof · 13th Dec 2010, 05:24 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Liam

Hats. Can't stand 'em.

As a hat lover, may I ask why??

**lostinthought9** · 13th Dec 2010, 06:17 PM

Ditto. ^^ I almost always have a hat on.
Anyways, to answer the thread.
Turn offs:
-smokers (or using any other type of tobacco product)
-alcoholics
-overall douche bag/jerk
-stupidity
-control freaks
-greasy hair (I don't care what's the length, if it's incredibly oily, that's gross)
-smelling horrible (A little "manly" smell after doing work, or exercising is fine, but you shouldn't smell the BO all day, every day)

Beertruck · 13th Dec 2010, 06:33 PM

Guys who are vapid to the extreme. I can have my "lol reality show" moments too, but if you can't name at least four justices on the Supreme Court you're out of here.

GhostDog · 13th Dec 2010, 06:37 PM

^ I second the smoking. I've got friends who smoke when they drink, as an occasional thing, and that's okay I suppose, but chain smoking? Blech.

- As said in another thread, bad tattoos. Good tattoos are a turn on, but bad tattoos are an incredible turn off for me.

- People who are inclined towards snap judgments of people. We all do it occasionally, so whatever, but if you have to comment about everyone who walks by if you don't like the look of them, that's just way too much negativity for me to put up with. So what if she looks like she's 300 pounds? Maybe she has a glandular problem, or maybe she really does just like McDonald's way too much. It's none of your damn business.

- In the same vein, girls who talk shit about their friends behind their backs. Not cool, y'all.

- People who are rude to people they don't judge to be important. I don't care how nice you are to me; if you bitch at the waiter for no reason, it's a no go.

- The "fake tan, fake tits, fake blonde" look. I'm all for bleaching your hair blonde by itself, mind. But I think fake tans are tacky, I don't even care if it's an actual tan you got by being in a tanning bed or on the beach for a week. (I'll take being pasty over getting skin cancer, thanks.) And fake tits just don't look all that great to me. (Unless she had a masectomy to avoid breast cancer and wanted implants just to replace what she lost. I could 100% look past it in that case.) Add a bleach blonde on top of that and it is just a trifecta of not-interested.

- People who are way into drugs. I totally don't care about occasional use of the wacky tobaccy, but I've had friends that I've lost because drugs became more important to them than anything else. Not cool. =(

- The phrase "I hate people".

blankpaper · 13th Dec 2010, 06:37 PM

Smoker, heavy drinkers and drug users are definitely not my style. Nail chewing just drives me up a wall so thats out....my biggest thing though is people who don't respect them selves and are very needy.

kettlkorn · 13th Dec 2010, 06:52 PM

Anyone with a Charlie Chaplain moustache.

**Owen** · 13th Dec 2010, 06:55 PM

-Mouth-breathers. It didn't bother me once upon a time, but I lived with one last academic year who breathed like a jackhammer, and since then, if someone has their mouth habitually open, it's a huge turn-off for me.

-Prissiness. The truth is that I'm really not big on flamboyant guys, so when a guy is flamboyant and full of himself, there's no chance of me liking him.

-Speaking of which, flamboyance. I'm not one to knock someone for who they are, and I will in no way find them inferior if they are flamboyant, but as someone who can very easily pass for straight, I like guys I can go out in public with and we can pass off as just friends. With a flamboyant guy, that isn't likely.

-"Thug"-ishness. Someone who acts tough won't have an easy time getting on my good side. Façades in general are a turn off for me, and as someone who is pretty subdued and kind, people who are loud and rude really grate on me.

-Muscles. I can like a lot of different kinds of guys, but muscle-men are not among them. I can't really explain it; in the same way that some people are repulsed by someone who weighs too much, I'm repulsed by someone who has spent too much time in the gym.

-Intelligence that is not tempered by wisdom. Yes, you may know a lot of things, but there is a time and a place to show off that knowledge. Knowing that time and place is key if you want to get on my good side. It's also a turn off when people know a lot of things but can't do anything with that knowledge--can't discuss or debate, just spout off about what they know.

-Guys who slur their words. It just makes you sound like you don't care about what you are saying, so why should I?

PeaceLoveJoy · 13th Dec 2010, 08:35 PM

Smokers (weed/cigarrettes etc)
Drinkers
Too possessive
Critical
Self-centered
Arrogant
Aggressive
Pushy
Overly religious
Not out of the closet
Obsessive

Shevanel · 13th Dec 2010, 08:36 PM

Nihilists.

Zontar · 13th Dec 2010, 08:38 PM

Mirrors.

13th Dec 2010, 04:36 PM	#1
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,872 Join Date: Jul 2007	What are big turn OFF's for you? Since we already have a thread for talking about what are big turn on's for you, I figure we might as well bring some balance to the chit chat section with a thread about big turn-off's. What don't you like in your sex of interest? What actions, personality traits, or aspects of appearance will keep you from being interested in someone? So as to avoid influencing the general mood of this thread, I will wait to post my own turn-offs until some responses have been posted. __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

13th Dec 2010, 04:37 PM	#2
TyPod I like pie. Full Member Gender: Im a boy person. Orientation: Bisexualish Out Status: Everyone but my sister and parents. Location: East Sussex, England Age: 16 Posts: 216 Join Date: Oct 2009	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Overly cockiness.

13th Dec 2010, 04:39 PM	#3
Lady Gaga Guest Posts: n/a	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Long hair. Although, this guy I am crushing on is the only exception I have ever met. He's so funny, and cute. <3 I always have exceptions with turn offs and turn ons. Yay inconsistency!

13th Dec 2010, 04:46 PM	#4
IsItSo EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 同志 Out Status: A few people Location: New York-ish Age: 18 Posts: 771 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? What Steven said. Guys with long hair can look good, but I won't feel any sexual attraction to them.

13th Dec 2010, 04:47 PM	#5
Ridiculous EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Friends Location: New Zealand Age: 20 Posts: 934 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? I'm very particular about feet.. there's a fine line for me between gorgeous feet and feet I revile.

13th Dec 2010, 04:51 PM	#6
Stuie Hugs - $POA Full Member Gender: e^(πi) +1 = 0 Orientation: Schnoo Out Status: Moo Cow Location: Canberra, Australia Age: 19 Posts: 1,463 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Incredibly stupid people. If I can't like them on a friendly level, I couldn't like them any deeper.

13th Dec 2010, 04:54 PM	#7
Nomad187 EC's Resident Parawhore Full Member Gender: I have an outie not an innie Orientation: Gay Out Status: I have a walk in closet that I walked out of Location: Red Deer, Alberta Age: 19 Posts: 890 Join Date: May 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? stupid, cocky or just an asshole in general. __________________ There's a Vulture on my shoulder and he's tellin me to give in Always hissin right in my ear like its comin from my own head Its got me mixed up tryin not to give up tell me there's a way to get out of here

13th Dec 2010, 05:05 PM	#8
excuseyou77 EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: my mom, few friends Location: Duluth, GA Age: 26 Posts: 834 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Assholery and douchebaggery. __________________ "I am human and I need to be loved, just like everybody else does."

13th Dec 2010, 05:05 PM	#9
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? 1. Smokers - you can smell it on every part of them, and I just revile it. I don't want to taste smoke when I kiss you. 2. Alcoholics - yeah I don't want to deal with you being violent to me or not having control of your own actions. Get some fucking help! 3. Druggies - I'm not really a fan of pot smokers even, but if that's ur buzz I guess I'll deal. But doing acid, coke, crack, etc means you're basically trying to purposefully ruin your life so get away from mine. 4. Cockiness - I don't care about how hot you look in the mirror, I don't care how big your dick is, I don't care how hot you think you are, all that should matter is how hot I think you are, and that I like you for you, not all your "godliness" 5. Ignorance - We deal with enough shit being gay, you picking on other people for being too fat, or ugly or w/e pisses me off. 6. Religious Affinity - Listen, I respect your religion, but just because you're my boyfriend doesn't mean I'm going to convert to your religion. I have my own beliefs and I'm sticking to them >_> 7. The ones who don't plan to ever come out - this is pretty plain and simple, it's one thing to make me wait for you to come out, especially when I still need to tell my own parents, but if you're NEVER going to come out then what's the point? It'll feel more like I'm in a secret affair than an actual relationship. __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

13th Dec 2010, 05:07 PM	#10
Mogget Mad and dead as nails EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Kinsey 5 or 6. It varies Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Alaska Age: 22 Posts: 2,020 Join Date: Mar 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Hats. Can't stand 'em. __________________ "As to what I am, I once was many things but now I am only several." - Mogget in Sabriel by Garth Nix "The world is quiet here." - VFD

13th Dec 2010, 06:17 PM	#12
lostinthought9 EC's Biggest Xena Fan EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Louisiana Age: 21 Posts: 2,059 Join Date: Jan 2008	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Ditto. ^^ I almost always have a hat on. Anyways, to answer the thread. Turn offs: -smokers (or using any other type of tobacco product) -alcoholics -overall douche bag/jerk -stupidity -control freaks -greasy hair (I don't care what's the length, if it's incredibly oily, that's gross) -smelling horrible (A little "manly" smell after doing work, or exercising is fine, but you shouldn't smell the BO all day, every day) __________________

13th Dec 2010, 06:33 PM	#13
Beertruck Drunk Homosexual Full Member Gender: bro Orientation: bromosexual Out Status: bropen! Location: new jersey Age: 24 Posts: 420 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Guys who are vapid to the extreme. I can have my "lol reality show" moments too, but if you can't name at least four justices on the Supreme Court you're out of here.

13th Dec 2010, 06:37 PM	#14
GhostDog is Spartacus. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: MAGICAL. Out Status: The hiiills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic! Location: DFW area, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? ^ I second the smoking. I've got friends who smoke when they drink, as an occasional thing, and that's okay I suppose, but chain smoking? Blech. - As said in another thread, bad tattoos. Good tattoos are a turn on, but bad tattoos are an incredible turn off for me. - People who are inclined towards snap judgments of people. We all do it occasionally, so whatever, but if you have to comment about everyone who walks by if you don't like the look of them, that's just way too much negativity for me to put up with. So what if she looks like she's 300 pounds? Maybe she has a glandular problem, or maybe she really does just like McDonald's way too much. It's none of your damn business. - In the same vein, girls who talk shit about their friends behind their backs. Not cool, y'all. - People who are rude to people they don't judge to be important. I don't care how nice you are to me; if you bitch at the waiter for no reason, it's a no go. - The "fake tan, fake tits, fake blonde" look. I'm all for bleaching your hair blonde by itself, mind. But I think fake tans are tacky, I don't even care if it's an actual tan you got by being in a tanning bed or on the beach for a week. (I'll take being pasty over getting skin cancer, thanks.) And fake tits just don't look all that great to me. (Unless she had a masectomy to avoid breast cancer and wanted implants just to replace what she lost. I could 100% look past it in that case.) Add a bleach blonde on top of that and it is just a trifecta of not-interested. - People who are way into drugs. I totally don't care about occasional use of the wacky tobaccy, but I've had friends that I've lost because drugs became more important to them than anything else. Not cool. =( - The phrase "I hate people". __________________ <3 Kirah, who may or may not be made of delicious candy (and the lesbians)

13th Dec 2010, 06:37 PM	#15
blankpaper Confusion all over the place Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Six friends, mom, dad and brother!! Location: Boston Posts: 220 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Smoker, heavy drinkers and drug users are definitely not my style. Nail chewing just drives me up a wall so thats out....my biggest thing though is people who don't respect them selves and are very needy. __________________ So is life...

13th Dec 2010, 06:52 PM	#16
kettlkorn the mogslayer Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Totally Straight Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Bolivar, OH Age: 22 Posts: 708 Join Date: Jul 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Anyone with a Charlie Chaplain moustache.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Anal sex: a turn on or turn off?	Anonymous	Anonymous Discussions	50	6th Mar 2012 12:14 AM
scars turn on or turn off	diegon3	Chit Chat	58	4th May 2009 09:31 AM
Tattoos turn on or turn off?	ok455	Chit Chat	73	24th Mar 2009 08:52 AM
I don't know where to turn...	Anonymous	Anonymous Discussions	6	12th Oct 2008 01:56 PM

13th Dec 2010, 06:55 PM	#17
Owen Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult EC Admin Gender: Agendered dude Orientation: Panromantic androsexual Out Status: Everyone and their mother Location: Massachusetts, USA Age: 21 Posts: 2,872 Join Date: Jul 2007	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? -Mouth-breathers. It didn't bother me once upon a time, but I lived with one last academic year who breathed like a jackhammer, and since then, if someone has their mouth habitually open, it's a huge turn-off for me. -Prissiness. The truth is that I'm really not big on flamboyant guys, so when a guy is flamboyant and full of himself, there's no chance of me liking him. -Speaking of which, flamboyance. I'm not one to knock someone for who they are, and I will in no way find them inferior if they are flamboyant, but as someone who can very easily pass for straight, I like guys I can go out in public with and we can pass off as just friends. With a flamboyant guy, that isn't likely. -"Thug"-ishness. Someone who acts tough won't have an easy time getting on my good side. Façades in general are a turn off for me, and as someone who is pretty subdued and kind, people who are loud and rude really grate on me. -Muscles. I can like a lot of different kinds of guys, but muscle-men are not among them. I can't really explain it; in the same way that some people are repulsed by someone who weighs too much, I'm repulsed by someone who has spent too much time in the gym. -Intelligence that is not tempered by wisdom. Yes, you may know a lot of things, but there is a time and a place to show off that knowledge. Knowing that time and place is key if you want to get on my good side. It's also a turn off when people know a lot of things but can't do anything with that knowledge--can't discuss or debate, just spout off about what they know. -Guys who slur their words. It just makes you sound like you don't care about what you are saying, so why should I? __________________ "Stand firm for what you believe in, until and unless logic and experience prove you wrong. Remember, when the emperor looks naked, the emperor is naked. The truth and a lie are not sort of the same thing. And there is no aspect, no facet, no moment of life that can't be improved with pizza." -Daria Morgendorffer

13th Dec 2010, 08:35 PM	#18
PeaceLoveJoy Well Known Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: California Posts: 134 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Smokers (weed/cigarrettes etc) Drinkers Too possessive Critical Self-centered Arrogant Aggressive Pushy Overly religious Not out of the closet Obsessive __________________ I don't need a life that's normal, that's way too far away, but something next to normal would be okay.

13th Dec 2010, 08:36 PM	#19
Shevanel One Is Light. One Is Dark. Full Member Gender: The Dude Orientation: Bi-Winning Out Status: Everybody and Your Mom. Location: Bolivar, Ohio (From NY though) Age: 21 Posts: 7,672 Join Date: Dec 2008	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Nihilists. __________________ If there were no rewards to reap, No loving embrace to see me through this tedious path I've chosen here, I certainly would've walked away by now. Gonna wait it out... Be patient.

13th Dec 2010, 08:38 PM	#20
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,534 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: What are big turn OFF's for you? Mirrors. __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road"