I was thinking today about how I act and I think I could be more femine then I first thought, Is it possable that I could be and my more femanine side is coming out?
I guess that could come from coming out to people and being more true to who you really are. But as was already said, it doesn't matter. Nobody's judging.
1) i found that as i came out more i became more comfortable with expressing my more feminine aspects 2) who cares, be confident, be yourself, be happy theres nothing wrong with being effeminate
I really dislike the whole feminine/masculine box that we put ourselves into. We are who we are. So yes it could be that your more feminine side is coming out. Not because you are changing, but because you have decided to accept who you are. Or it may be because you are curious so you are exploring new things.
Like everyone else said. It really doesn't matter at all, but its not you changing. It more about you allowing yourself to express that side. I have "become" more "femenine" after I came out because now I don't care. I don't care about what I say, how I say it or when I say it. I just do and I don't care if people think its girly or not. I also think that I'm kinda "experimenting" with my "gay side" a little as I get more gay friends. All I know is that I'm loving it haha Enjoy it
[YOUTUBE]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q97c5szTgIA[/YOUTUBE] ... Did I just seriously link Ke$ha? xD
I have always hated Ke$ha, but I listened to that song like an hour ago and just kept putting it on repeat...ahhh
I don't think the OP meant he was worrying about it. I'm not that effeminate, but I do find it amusing to think back, "Wait, most boys probably weren't watching Little Women with their sister, or playing shop with her dolls". (We acted out historical and mythological stories too, so there they were more like props, but playing shop was pretty gay). I think we often just don't notice our personality in this way until we come out, and then when we're more conscious of it, we link it back more.
Femininity is not tied to homosexuality in the slightest. You're wasting your time looking for "past signs" like that because they were incidental at best. I've tried to do the same thing, but in the end, there's feminine straights and masculine gays. I fall somewhere in between...right down to the sexuality. Any link between how gender-typical you act and your sexuality is stereotypical at best.
You almost certainly ARE more feminine that you originally thought. Gay males often get a lot of grief for anything "girly" they do as they're growing up, and as such, they either attempt to alter them, or try to ignore them altogether. And we usually get to a point where people stop giving us grief about our feminine traits - not because we've surpressed them, but because we hang out with more mature people who don't feel the need to give us grief about them. But because of this, it's easy for us to convince ourselves that we're "100% straight acting", even though we almost certainly aren't. I may have been "StealthFag" for many of my friends, but my sister says she didn't suspect - she KNEW. She saw enough of my feminine traits to put my sexuality into question, and coupling that with the fact that I didn't date girls? Well, she didn't need Encyclopedia Brown's help on that one. None of this is to argue the points made above. It doesn't matter at all how effeminate you might be. Own it. Lex
Let's not get so critical of stereotypes that we dismiss any notion of a link between the two. There's at least a correlation of some sorts, if not completely tied. As in, not all gay men are equally effeminate. But given that being gay means that some section of us is more like most women than most men, the "do I fancy men or women?" part, what's the surprise that in some other respects we have more in common with women too. And of course it's not perfect, I'm sure many of us have had the experience of thinking someone gave off a gay vibe, then realizing they were clearly quite straight. But it is broadly true, without resorting to stereotypes, gay men are more effeminate than straight men, if in some cases much more so than others.
