How do you do say hi or bye? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

**TheEdend** · 23rd Dec 2010, 01:26 PM

Ok, so this may sound really trivial to many of you, but I'm having some trouble with it for some reason and I could use your input to help me think.

For some reason, I've been having a hard time saying hi and bye to gay friends. Its just awkward for some reason. I usually either fist bump (sounds lame saying it) or do the "bro shake" (sounds just as lame saying it out loud haha) with guys, but for some reason it feels weird doing it with other gay dudes. I've seen that most just hug it out, which sucks because I'm not a very huggy person xD I tried doing the "bro shake" once and he just looked at me like I was nuts and gave me a hug. I was like damn haha I'm lame lol

How do you guys go about it? As of now I just say hi and bye and just stand there with a smile xD

It was REALLY awkward when I was with my ex once. We were going to say bye and we didn't know what to do xD

Ok, I'll stop the ramble now

RaRa · 23rd Dec 2010, 01:29 PM

I hug all my friends when I say hi or bye....

The bro shake looks pretty idiotic.

But I never thought "hey" or "bye" sounded awkward....

So this is only happening with your gay friends?

**TheEdend** · 23rd Dec 2010, 01:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaRa

I hug all my friends when I say hi or bye....

The bro shake looks pretty idiotic.

But I never thought "hey" or "bye" sounded awkward....

So this is only happening with your gay friends?

Ya, thats the thing. I'm not a very huggy person.

And ya, only happens with my gay friends. The straight ones is pretty easy and the girls is just a hug. And its just awkward because you are suppose to make body contact when you say hi or bye. Maybe it be a hand shake or a hugg, but it looks better. Now all I do is say hi or bye haha xD

Like I said, very trivial thing that has been nagging at me for a while.

**Lexington** · 23rd Dec 2010, 02:15 PM

Depends on the gay friend.

For instance, I greet one gay friend at work by either saying "uh-huh" or "Brrrrrt!" I have no idea how we fell into using those as greetings, but that's what we say now. For goodbye, we say "later" or "later skater", or occasionally do one of these goofy long ones. "I'm outtie like Kurt Goudie." "I'm gone like the hair on Elton John." "I'm later like Christan Slater."

Some I hug hello to, some I hug goodbye to, some I don't do either. The generic one is "hey" for hello and "see ya" for goodbye.

Lex

**Owen** · 23rd Dec 2010, 02:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheEdend

And its just awkward because you are suppose to make body contact when you say hi or bye.

Maybe we just come from different cultural backgrounds, but I'd don't do anything physical when I saw hello or goodbye to people; I just say "Hey" or "Hello" when I see them and "Bye" or "See you later" when we part. Gay friends are no different, and I use the same policy for them that I use for everyone else; I only hug them if they hug first, with the exception of friends who have explicitly sought out hugs from me and voiced that they like my hugs. I know these people want hugs, so I hug them, but they are few and far between. For 98% of the people I interact with, a simple "Hi" and "Bye" are sufficient.

23rd Dec 2010, 02:56 PM

I think maybe you're just intimidated by the fact that they're gay too.

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaRa

I hug all my friends when I say hi or bye....

The bro shake looks pretty idiotic.

But I never thought "hey" or "bye" sounded awkward....

So this is only happening with your gay friends?

Same for me. And to go further, when I see my friends after a long break at school I will run up to them as soon as I see them, no matter how far away, and I will just hug-rape them.

straal1972 · 23rd Dec 2010, 02:59 PM

I've just recently decided 'Fuck it' and started hugging my male relations. I love these men in my life and want to express it this way. I know it doesn't answer your question, but that is what I'm doing. I haven't done anything beyond hand shake with non-family members, wait thats not true. In our culture (ukrainian) it is common around festival times for all the men to hug as well.

Shevanel · 23rd Dec 2010, 02:59 PM

Unless it's with someone close, I usually do a little kinda wave thing when saying Hi or Bye. xD With close friends it's a hug usually.

+ YouTube Video

Daniel · 23rd Dec 2010, 03:53 PM

How I say hello and goodbye to people depends on the person;

-Formal: Handshake
-Informal but distant: Wave or a nod with a smile
-Informal: Hug
-Informal and close: Kiss (cheek)

Elven · 23rd Dec 2010, 03:57 PM

I tend to nod or do a wierd finger twizzle wave for hi and bye, through with anyone I know fairly well I often tap their shoulder or just intergrate into a conversation to make them jump

For some reason hugging feels false like it means more to me than it does to them...

Cheria · 23rd Dec 2010, 04:38 PM

A wave. Sometimes more spastically than others depending on my mood.
I hug people sometimes too, when I know I can hug them without seeming weird.

maverick · 23rd Dec 2010, 05:27 PM

"See you on the flipside."
"Peace out."
"What's up buttercup?"
"What's shakin' bacon?"
"What's up home skillet?" (A: Hashbrowns.)
*hug*

**Maddy** · 23rd Dec 2010, 05:34 PM

I don't really have anything between saying hi and hugging. If someone's a friend I hug them, if they're an acquaintance I just say hi. (Or hug them. I hug strangers sometimes.)

Zontar · 23rd Dec 2010, 05:37 PM

"'Sup Brothaman!"

GoinStag · 23rd Dec 2010, 06:08 PM

well with my girlfriends I usually give a polite handshake. With my guy friends on the other hand, I like to pull them close for a hug where we grind groins and I grab his ass....

jk. With my guy friends I just say "wussup" or "hey" or something. No contact needs to be made. With most of my girlfriends, we just say "hey" and hug.

Adam · 23rd Dec 2010, 06:50 PM

Don't really have any gay friends but this is how I greet/bye

Hey and sometimes a handshake

I do one of these for bye-
Peace out
Peace
Cya
Do a handshake or shake/half hug thing with the guys
Hug the girls and say bye

Nodnarb · 23rd Dec 2010, 07:06 PM

I pretty much always use a generic "hey"/"see ya". I only have one friend that I hug when saying hi/bye and that's just because she's a really huggy person.

Miyaga · 23rd Dec 2010, 07:16 PM

I love hugs so I hug everyone... but i have two different hugs

1. "straight Hug" lean in and hug
2. "gay hug" fully body hug

weird I know but thats what I do, sometimes a kiss on the cheek

**Filip** · 24th Dec 2010, 12:29 AM

Well, I mostly don't really do anything physical with friends. I say hi, and then immediately launch into conversation (so it's more like: "hi, nice to see you, how've you been since last tuesday?") And when I say bye, I usually say "see you later!", turn and leve.

If I haven't seen them in a really long time, I usually give a handshake to the guys, and a kiss on the cheek to girls.

Technically, the local convention as I understand it (yes, in Belgium we have conventions for everything) is that if you're both gay (and out), you kiss each other on the cheek. I only have one gay friend that I meet regularly, and I usually only kiss him on the cheek when in front of our straight friends to shock them xD
Otherwise we just usually lounch into conversation right away.

But usually, I want to talk to my friends, or have other things to do after meeting with them, so I don't bother with a lot of greeting ritual.

Lychee · 24th Dec 2010, 12:54 AM

I hug all of my guy friends, kiss most of my girl friends on the cheek but hug a few.
However, my best friend and I never ever hug or kiss or anything when we see each other. Neither of us are particularly affectionate people, although we do it to adhere to social conventions, but we just don't bother with each other. The other day was the last time we were going to see each other for about a month, and there was this awkward moment when we were saying bye when it was like "should we hug?" and we were both like "nahhhh" and walked off.
I just find hugs awkward, especially if they are not for saying hi or bye.

23rd Dec 2010, 01:26 PM	#1
TheEdend Hope will never be silent EC Moderator Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Extended family still doesn't know Location: Orlando, Florida Age: 21 Posts: 2,831 Join Date: Mar 2010	How do you do say hi or bye? Ok, so this may sound really trivial to many of you, but I'm having some trouble with it for some reason and I could use your input to help me think. For some reason, I've been having a hard time saying hi and bye to gay friends. Its just awkward for some reason. I usually either fist bump (sounds lame saying it) or do the "bro shake" (sounds just as lame saying it out loud haha) with guys, but for some reason it feels weird doing it with other gay dudes. I've seen that most just hug it out, which sucks because I'm not a very huggy person xD I tried doing the "bro shake" once and he just looked at me like I was nuts and gave me a hug. I was like damn haha I'm lame lol How do you guys go about it? As of now I just say hi and bye and just stand there with a smile xD It was REALLY awkward when I was with my ex once. We were going to say bye and we didn't know what to do xD Ok, I'll stop the ramble now __________________ “You may never know what results come of your action, but if you do nothing there will be no result” -Gandhi

23rd Dec 2010, 01:29 PM	#2
RaRa We we we so excited Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 21 Posts: 7,439 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I hug all my friends when I say hi or bye.... The bro shake looks pretty idiotic. But I never thought "hey" or "bye" sounded awkward.... So this is only happening with your gay friends? __________________ Do you think about me now and then? Do you think about me now and then? Oh now I'm comin' home again Maybe we can start again

23rd Dec 2010, 02:15 PM	#4
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,371 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? Depends on the gay friend. For instance, I greet one gay friend at work by either saying "uh-huh" or "Brrrrrt!" I have no idea how we fell into using those as greetings, but that's what we say now. For goodbye, we say "later" or "later skater", or occasionally do one of these goofy long ones. "I'm outtie like Kurt Goudie." "I'm gone like the hair on Elton John." "I'm later like Christan Slater." Some I hug hello to, some I hug goodbye to, some I don't do either. The generic one is "hey" for hello and "see ya" for goodbye. Lex

23rd Dec 2010, 02:59 PM	#7
straal1972 EC chat slayer Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: I'm out to everyone who's important to me Location: Outside of Barrie On Age: 39 Posts: 510 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I've just recently decided 'Fuck it' and started hugging my male relations. I love these men in my life and want to express it this way. I know it doesn't answer your question, but that is what I'm doing. I haven't done anything beyond hand shake with non-family members, wait thats not true. In our culture (ukrainian) it is common around festival times for all the men to hug as well.

23rd Dec 2010, 03:53 PM	#9
Daniel the great cheese danish Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Buffalo, NY Age: 21 Posts: 2,874 Join Date: Jun 2008	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? How I say hello and goodbye to people depends on the person; -Formal: Handshake -Informal but distant: Wave or a nod with a smile -Informal: Hug -Informal and close: Kiss (cheek) __________________ "Nobody can teach me who I am, who can describe parts of me, but who I am and what I need, these are things I have to find out myself." - Chunua Achebe

23rd Dec 2010, 03:57 PM	#10
Elven Life is a Jigsaw ☯ Full Member Gender: ♂ Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to (pretty much) everyone. Location: Shropshire, England Age: 17 Posts: 536 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I tend to nod or do a wierd finger twizzle wave for hi and bye, through with anyone I know fairly well I often tap their shoulder or just intergrate into a conversation to make them jump For some reason hugging feels false like it means more to me than it does to them... __________________ Birds of a Feather Flock Together~

23rd Dec 2010, 04:38 PM	#11
Cheria にひひっ♪ Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Almost everyone Location: Illinois Age: 20 Posts: 636 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? A wave. Sometimes more spastically than others depending on my mood. I hug people sometimes too, when I know I can hug them without seeming weird. __________________

23rd Dec 2010, 05:27 PM	#12
maverick let watchers become warriors Full Member Gender: You tell me. Orientation: Hey good lookin'. wink Out Status: It's pretty obvious. Location: Alabama cue banjos Age: 26 Posts: 2,118 Join Date: Nov 2010	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? "See you on the flipside." "Peace out." "What's up buttercup?" "What's shakin' bacon?" "What's up home skillet?" (A: Hashbrowns.) hug __________________ Shelter me oh genius words, just give me strength / to pen these things, and give me peace to well her wings / and oh, oh carry on, all you minstrels of the world, we will catch our lady's ear, we will win for us the girl.

23rd Dec 2010, 05:34 PM	#13
Maddy Free Hugs EC Admin Gender: - Orientation: Into girls Location: Melbourne, Australia Age: 21 Posts: 7,704 Join Date: Mar 2008	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I don't really have anything between saying hi and hugging. If someone's a friend I hug them, if they're an acquaintance I just say hi. (Or hug them. I hug strangers sometimes.) __________________ how strange it is to be anything at all [Victor] 2:09 pm: and then halloween happened and I was outside in a skirt.

23rd Dec 2010, 05:37 PM	#14
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,534 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? "'Sup Brothaman!" __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road"

23rd Dec 2010, 06:08 PM	#15
GoinStag I'm straight now............sikeeee Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Guy fetish Out Status: Parents, siblings, and therapist Location: Metro Detroit, Michigan Age: 18 Posts: 1,485 Join Date: May 2010	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? well with my girlfriends I usually give a polite handshake. With my guy friends on the other hand, I like to pull them close for a hug where we grind groins and I grab his ass.... jk. With my guy friends I just say "wussup" or "hey" or something. No contact needs to be made. With most of my girlfriends, we just say "hey" and hug. __________________ *I've been thinking 'bout this all day long, Never felt a feeling quite this strong...I can't believe how much it turns me on, Just to be your man...*

23rd Dec 2010, 06:50 PM	#16
Adam EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Posts: 539 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? Don't really have any gay friends but this is how I greet/bye Hey and sometimes a handshake I do one of these for bye- Peace out Peace Cya Do a handshake or shake/half hug thing with the guys Hug the girls and say bye

23rd Dec 2010, 07:06 PM	#17
Nodnarb Notoriously Homosexual Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Most people Location: Ames, Iowa Age: 20 Posts: 3,875 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I pretty much always use a generic "hey"/"see ya". I only have one friend that I hug when saying hi/bye and that's just because she's a really huggy person. __________________ Better to be hated for who you are, than be loved for who you're not.

23rd Dec 2010, 07:16 PM	#18
Miyaga EC 's Gay Chef Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Who Doesn't Know? Location: New York City Age: 23 Posts: 452 Join Date: Dec 2010	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I love hugs so I hug everyone... but i have two different hugs 1. "straight Hug" lean in and hug 2. "gay hug" fully body hug weird I know but thats what I do, sometimes a kiss on the cheek __________________ "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind." "Live today like it is your last, no regrets, no second guesses, just truth and happiness."

24th Dec 2010, 12:29 AM	#19
Filip Cecile's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but extended family Location: Belgium, EU Age: 28 Posts: 3,366 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? Well, I mostly don't really do anything physical with friends. I say hi, and then immediately launch into conversation (so it's more like: "hi, nice to see you, how've you been since last tuesday?") And when I say bye, I usually say "see you later!", turn and leve. If I haven't seen them in a really long time, I usually give a handshake to the guys, and a kiss on the cheek to girls. Technically, the local convention as I understand it (yes, in Belgium we have conventions for everything) is that if you're both gay (and out), you kiss each other on the cheek. I only have one gay friend that I meet regularly, and I usually only kiss him on the cheek when in front of our straight friends to shock them xD Otherwise we just usually lounch into conversation right away. But usually, I want to talk to my friends, or have other things to do after meeting with them, so I don't bother with a lot of greeting ritual. __________________ To the world, you're somebody, but to somebody, you're the world...

24th Dec 2010, 12:54 AM	#20
Lychee EC Addict Full Member Gender: Spazmatazz Orientation: Friendspage Location: Contrabassoon Posts: 1,739 Join Date: Aug 2008	Re: How do you do say hi or bye? I hug all of my guy friends, kiss most of my girl friends on the cheek but hug a few. However, my best friend and I never ever hug or kiss or anything when we see each other. Neither of us are particularly affectionate people, although we do it to adhere to social conventions, but we just don't bother with each other. The other day was the last time we were going to see each other for about a month, and there was this awkward moment when we were saying bye when it was like "should we hug?" and we were both like "nahhhh" and walked off. I just find hugs awkward, especially if they are not for saying hi or bye. __________________ We we we so excited.