However, I have brought it upon myself, and I should not complain. I over analyse stuff, actually I analyse every emotion that exist... I think I have forgotten how to smile, without it being forced... And I can be as cynic as Idk, really, lets just say I can be. As cold as ice, and to the point where it starts to burn. I brought this change upon me, when I was 13. After something, that I won't forget happened. And started to see humanity as... lets just said Sigmuds Freud's psychoanalytical ideals seem to connect like a puzzle and make a broader picture(at little bit more on the everyone is selfish and it is in our nature to be so, regardless of what we do -- and for every action there is a reason behind it). If I help someone do I do it, because I want to help them? Or is it because of the feeling I will received by helping them? Do I do something for the greater good? Or for the good of my being? Do people help others because it will make them feel better? If you apply logic to it... it would come out maybe as being true... It is like a drug, you get something out of it, and because it brings something you desire. You seek more of it, culminating in addiction to the source of the emotion. But then it is NAIVE of me to think that way, who am I to say that just like other instincts; being selfish is one of them? It is confusing as I am more of a phlegmatic and sanguine personality, also I usually see the needs of other above my own. I am more of a always kind of happy guy. And then my logic clashes... Am I selfish or am I not? But at times, it seems to me that I just apply Psychology/Logic to everything be it happiness, sadness, anger, or excitement; and then everything is like a game. To get me angry takes... major effort. I would actually not feel the anger travelling thru my veins, trying to seep of my body and return it to the giver. But it would be more of a logic fight of what drove the person to make me angry? What his/her personality is? Background? Religion? Beliefs? Morals? And what do I expect to come next? And I try to find an answer to the emotion... be it anger/happiness/elation... I try to find a reason. A reason to justify the anger. A reason to give me hope? That what I received was because of the way the person is; and maybe I brought the response upon myself? Then that way I can justify the emotion and find an answer. If you knew me, you would think I am one of the most confident individuals you have ever met. One of my Psychology instructors made a comment on one of my papers about me being a "extraordinary strong balanced individual." When I read that, I laughed. I wondered if I am truly that. Or if I have created a strong individual of myself to please me, then does it mean I am a fake? And if so, what Am I? Who am I? But, then I start to wonder what does it mean to be confident? Am I confident, or do I just portrait something I am not? Do I do it to hide myself? But then I feel okay being myself, no one can change the way I am...Nor can I change the way others are, and why would I want to do that in the first place? Why would I want to change the way others perceive me - or the world? Am I trying to find a reason, to something I do not comprehend?:eusa_doh: Something funny happened a few weeks ago. Usually guys look at me. Either be because they like me or because they don't For me it is trivial the reason why they do it I just stare at them back But with a face Devoid of emotion And concern. Well, a few weeks ago. I was getting out of one of my college classes. And this guy was looking at me For the first time in months I felt like smiling back And I did It felt weird, I thought I had forgotten how to smile to people I did not know but he smiled back, and it made me feel happy; Or so I thought. I told my friend about it, and she said I should do it more often But, I do not know how to...or if I should... or if rather than smile back, wonder what brought that smile to the persons face? And make the simple gesture more complicated than it is... Sorry, ranting... and most of the stuff makes no sense... but, Idk. It is confusing, and I will need to analyse it myself...and come up with a conclusion. Usually, when I come down with this, I write songs...Which I later throw away or burn, some of them have become lost on the way. My friends like them so much and because of that they become lost. I just cringe at reading them when the mood passes, and feel like burning them is like fitting end :bang: PS: I can't believe I am posting this... I feel like the delete button seems like a good idea. But then, Idc what others think, never have truly cared... mhh, I think I DO care, otherwise I would not be posting the PS, right?...
knock, knock, hello? is that me in there? I say the above phrase in two meanings. With a mind like yours you could play on that all day. kk bye.
Hrm....not exactly sure what this thread is about. But it has intrigued my mind. What you ask seems to be along the lines of "to find a reason to all things", which is inevitably out of our reach. I have raving thoughts like yours all the time, I love analysing things and weighing things in my head. My friends find it...rather...odd when I think as I tend to have physical actions that go along with it. So here's a little something that came floating into my mind when reading your post: We are all ever changing, flowing, interacting. For the good for the bad we do not know, but only to live the moment and forge into the future. Our instincts guide us on what to do next, what to be next. What is to live? Was it to experience such things? Why am I here? I do not have the answers. But to find out, I intend to live life and experience its myriad of emotions, and feelings in hopes of finding the answer I seek. PS. I think you experienced something special when you smiled back. Change is perhaps on the way...
Hey! First off there is no such thing as being too analytical! And secondly, I really like your views; there are actually some nice similarities between mine and yours. I'm definitely one of those who believes that humanity is "selfish" and does everything for what they believe to be the good of themselves in the macro-perspective. However, being selfish isn't a bad thing; selfishness can benefit others around you as well. Of course, this is only my perspective, and many people may disagree but whatever. Some things have more than one answer. But anyway, take the example of subject A helping subject B with no expectations of receiving anything in return. What did subject gain out of this? Well, I think that with social programming of what is "good" and "bad" along with observance and experience of methods behind benefitting one's own well-being, subject A was able to find happiness knowing he did something that is sociologically defined as good. This is just a minor example. Now let's take something more extreme such as the example of a woman pushing her child out of the path of a car and sacrificing herself. With this particular analysis we have to ask what the mother is gaining from it. Firstly, I believe that if the mother were to let the child get run over, she would have a hard time living with herself and the burden of loss. Because the child has become part of her life, losing the child is losing part of her own life, so she "selfishly" attempts to save the child to save a part of her own life. Of course, she doesn't feel she is being "selfish" in committing such an act, and obviously this act has benefitted the child's life. However, I think in the macro-perspective it would be considered "selfish" because she is sacrificing herself to avoid the pain and suffering she'd have to deal with were she to not act at all. Next is the issue of "am I being selfish?" "Is it good or bad?" "How can I justify my actions?" Well, in my perspective (I already stated how I think everyone is selfish, lol) I don't really think anything that is obviously considered "good" by the specific society (time and location) you live in should need to be justified. This brings up the wonderful philosophical question "If a good act is done for a bad reason, is it still a good act?" This question brings up a LOT of debate, but in order to understand it, we first have to agree on a definition of the fundamentals, such as "good" and "bad." However, these terms will never have a definition that is agreed upon by everyone. Anyway, what I think though is that most of the time the answer is yes, it will be considered a good act, assuming the other parties do not know the reasoning behind it. Let's go back to the example of person A helping person B. Let's say they person A feels guilty of being selfish in helping person B because person A thinks he only did it to gain joy for himself. Well, the fact is, person B got help. It was a good act from person A, and even though A ponders the reasoning and justification behind his act, the act is still sociologically defined as good. I wouldn't disagree though that sometimes the situation of a good act with bad intentions can be a bad act. Often times these have to be more extreme examples of duplicitous intentions. There are many concepts in the world that humans as a whole will just simply never understand. And sometimes we have to realize and accept the fact that some of our questions will never be answered. Does that mean we shouldn't ask them? Not necessarily; just because we will never understand doesn't mean we can't poke and prod and continue the process of learning. Like the example of "what happens when we die?" In my personal opinion, I believe that humans will NEVER know the answer to this. However; I think we can observe and do research or whatever to get a better understanding or at least have the ability to continuously change our views on it. Another thing is the influence of emotion. We all know how influential emotion is. Such as the example of the guy smiling back at you when you smiled. Whether the reasoning for him smiling back was superficial or authentic, the fact remains that he was influenced by your smile (regardless of whether or not the reasoning behind you smiling was superficial or authentic). This observation became a key reason as to how superficiality became such a large characteristic in my life (although not many people know otherwise it defeat the whole purpose if superficiality). lol I'm the type of person who is just about always friendly and constantly smiling (although some times are harder to maintain that smile than others), but my true personality is I think much darker than what I want people to perceive. However, the closer I am to a friend, the better understanding they usually have of how I truly feel. It's easy to maintain superficial relationships (I don't mean romantic ), but it's harder to find people that actually relate to me and that I'll let pass my superficial exterior. But yeah, I think it's a good thing to always be friendly because that's what society wants to see (as a whole at least; individuals are another topic). Even if I don't like someone, I'm usually still really friendly (sometimes I don't know why though!) haha. And actually, the more I despise someone, the friendlier I tend to be (I still haven't quite figured that one out). Anyway, I hope you didn't get too bored from this, and I hope it was helpful. I know probably a lot of this stuff might be a reiteration of what you already knew, but I hope you were able to gain from this, and I hope you can remember how to smile at people! It's a very meaningless gesture packed with meaning! ;P Jeremy
All in all, a case of analysing things until you realise you're starting to suck the joy out of life, right? Okay, the post above me is far more constructive and helpful, but here's an alternative way of looking at life, by not looking at it to that detail at all. Appreciate it as it is.
Actually, your post is by far more constructive and helpful. The post above yours is only scooping more stimulus onto the OP's already-full mental plate. I used to have a problem with overanalyzing things. I still kind of do. But it's kind of pointless to worry about a "deeper meaning" to things if that worry and uncertainty is going to consume your life and mentally paralyze you. You're overthinking smiling, an instinctual function inherent in babies. Just stop. There's nothing wrong with admitting to yourself that you don't fully understand something and then getting on with your life.
Thanks for your guys replies (*hug*) yea, lol or just open the door to see who is out there.=P Maybe is just the wind or your imagination...mhh ThinksTooMuch, Wow we do seriously think too much. It surprised me, that is almost how I described humanity in a paper I wrote... Ever changing and never stopping.=) Harve: what are the joys of life? I think the perspective on this answer would be different from yours and mine. In short, maybe I am or maybe not. I wouldn't know. But I think I do enjoy life, maybe not to the extent I should be enjoying it. Midwestblues: That is one of the things I am trying to accomplish: regarding with admitting that I do not understand something and moving on. But it is unorthodox, because I have always been curious about everything in the universe and life. From questions with not answers of how we were created to whether or not God exist have always fascinated me; and then to try to shift from my own ideals and nature is like fighting a lion with a toothpick(Of course nothing is impossible=P). Another thing, I am always being taught to never stop and feel satisfied for the simplest answer and to go beyond the surface, it is true that sometimes the simplest answer is the best... But then, we are all curious and do like to go beyond "because it is that way"; otherwise, we would not look at the sky and wonder what is beyond out there and wish to one day travel into the unknown. Maybe I do not know when or where I cross the line; or where I should apply this logic and then it becomes a mess. Jeremy: Boring? lol Not boring at all. It was nice that you took the time to write such a answer or any answer at all regarding my rambling. uhm, lol so if you are being friendly to me (based on what you wrote you seemed to be very friendly) it means you dislike me? =P okay, just messing. I don't think any of my friends truly know me, I don't think it is because I am superficial(idk, tbh). At times I do "come out" especially when it regards morality or social views, I don't mean that I do not have a conscience or that I am a sociopath. I am a Psych major, for me the social norms do not apply to my sense of "good" or "bad". What I mean by this is that I do not see anything as wrong or good, for me it is more of a whether society sees is as wrong or good and I apply logic to it...again. An example would be infidelity (yes, I know it is a sin...and so on). One of my close friends asked me what I would do if I found out my bf was cheating on me. I answered that it would not matter to me and that I would not get angry about it. She said why would I do that... That if he was hiding something that it was best to seek out the truth. Me: That would imply me becoming paranoid regarding his whereabouts and would bring upon myself more harm than anything. That I would actually encourage the cheating, to help him move on. That if he cheated to begin with it was due to our relationship not working (again justifying it:bang. So in short: If he was cheating on me...it was a normal and expected response... She freaked, she said I was blindly in love then. How I could think it was okay, when it would never cross in my mind to cheat on him :rolle: Actually, on the morality part I (and quite sensitive towards people, everyone thinks I am so nice that I may burst from it), but that doesn't mean I try to convey them on anyone. Everyone is different and I try to not judge others. For me if a person steals, murders, or whatever it is done for a reason and the reason for me has no good or wrong in it. So in a way I justify the act and do not judge the person. I came up with the idea that maybe I don't judge people, because it is something I despite others doing regarding myself. Well the idea crumbled, I actually instigate others to judge me. Why? I want to see their views, I want to see how they see life... At the same time, this quote from To Kill a Mockingbird seems fitting of "You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view . . . until you climb into his skin and walk around in it." I do not know if the term superficial would define me. Sometimes, I actually instigate profound questions from my friends ( Like questions of Why where we created? -I asked my Chem instructor that in a lecture, lol lets just say his answer was quite interesting:eusa_doh. Another thing, I am not always nice... If I ever do get mad at you... erm OMg, you better watch your back, I come up with the most intricate revenges you can think of (at the same time they are subtle, but usually the person to whom the revenge is aimed at makes it X100 worst)... But like I said before, to get me angry it takes a serious effort. Lately I have been angry at some people, I was talking to this guy who "was" (or so he says) addicted to drugs. My friends were flabbergasted with the idea that I would talk to such a person...and sometimes they would be rude. That it was a waste of time, blah blah, insert stereotypical answers... Any hows, some-how-it came down upon of him being less of a person than most people (less worth as a individual I guess?). In a way, I felt that they thought we were better than him ( and yes, I took into account if their response was due to the care that they held for the well being of me; and all the things that being close to someone like him would imply). That he was less than us, because of his addiction and weird( What does it mean to be weird?) ways of life. I asked my friends, if he was below us... then if I was above them? I am a straight As student always have had what I want never needed anything and so on... So if because I was more intelligent and was like the Virgin Marry concerning everyone, did it meant in any way I was better than them? You can guess their answer... Of course not... I told them their logic then was null and should not be giving me advice when they incorporate prejudice and bigotry to it. Less just say I lost a few friends after that, I could not stand them... I started to notice and reciprocate against them whenever they would ignorantly judge someone -which was quite often. So, yea I think that was an example of how I am not so superficial... It takes 340muscles to smile... So it does take quite an effort. =P I don't know...I have been thinking for a while to write a blog or something, because writing does make me thinks things over. PS: Sorry, for the long post. I would have just PMed or something, but not a full member,yet.:dry:
