Do they exist? The bleak reality.

[Bryan90]

I am back for a little social experiment again! (I feel like I am using EC for a lot of my social experiments).

In the world of gay dating (not too sure about lesbian, straight or any other myself), we are aware of certain scenarios where the demand for a certain kind of guy (or girl) far exceeds the supply.

This is a thread to see if these rare guys (or girls)actually do exist! So let the world of EC know if you personally know a guy (or girl) that meets the following requirements:

1) A white caucasian who significantly prefers people of specific color
2) An athletic, slim or average person who significantly prefers someone 'bigger'
3) A 'masculine' guy who significantly prefers a 'feminine' guy (personal subjective definition of 'masculine' and 'feminine' are applied)
4) Straight guys who end up falling in love with a guy or is open to dating gay/bi guys. (same for girls)

It'd be great if I can get some response here. It'll at least give some hope to some individuals to know that these people exist!!

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My response:
1) This is not that rare, I know a few guys who prefer east asians. I know one guy who prefer south asians, and I can't say I know guys who prefer blacks.

2) I know one average person who prefers bears

3) Now, this one I don't know any. (lets see if they actually exist!)

4) This is probably a legend. Though I do know a straight guy from a forum who fell in love with a bisexual man and end up building a relationship together though... (stories like these make me cry!)

[radiantdawn]

Well, I count for #2 : D But that's it -_- If you mean bigger as in like.. physically bigger, and not 'down there'. Sorry, I have no idea if you mean bigger everywhere, or just bigger down there >_< Blame me and my dirty mind =p . And if you mean bigger as in larger, I prefer bigger as in... like, not overweight, but muscular, but not super muscular. Just.... bigger than me, taller than me, would be nice =p. Of course, this is coming from someone who's never dated ANYONE. Take with copious tablespoons of sea salt. >_<

EDIT: Oops, forgot to address the initial question. I don't know anyone who's gay >_< Sorry.
EDIT 2: I don't know anyone gay besides myself*

[Steve712]

I've met people who fit one and two, but I've never even heard of someone who fits three or four.

[Chip]

I've known guys who fit 1,2 and 3 (white guys who like asian, hispanic, and black guys, skinny guys who prefer "bigger" (as in weight) boyfriends, and very masculine guys who go for more feminine guys.

As for #4... I think if a guy falls in love with a guy, it's hard to argue that he's "straight." If you're talking about guys who are very masculine and have a little harder time coming out, then definitely yes.

[Bryan90]

Originally Posted by Chip

I've known guys who fit 1,2 and 3 (white guys who like asian, hispanic, and black guys, skinny guys who prefer "bigger" (as in weight) boyfriends, and very masculine guys who go for more feminine guys.

As for #4... I think if a guy falls in love with a guy, it's hard to argue that he's "straight." If you're talking about guys who are very masculine and have a little harder time coming out, then definitely yes.

Well, scenario #4 would basically be this straight guy who really and honestly does not find any other guy physically or emotionally attractive other than the guy he fell for.

[Lexington]

If your real question is "I'm a non-white overweight effeminate gay guy - can I find a straight white muscular masculine guy to fall in love with me?"...then the answer is no.

As far as your individual pieces go, I know enough people in the first three groups to say they exist, even if they're not horribly common. The fourth is just a stupid gay fantasy.

Lex

[starfish]

Why are you asking?

[partietraumatic]

Well I would consier myself generally more masculine than feminine. People don't normally guess I'm gay. And i definatley prefer feminine guys.

[Bryan90]

Originally Posted by starfish

Why are you asking?

Oh if you check all my other posts around here you might understand. Long story short, I have an interest in human desire, motivation and emotion.

And out of the many human motivation, my favourite domain is romance, sex and sexuality.

And this is one of my pseudo-experiments to gauge the existence of such minorities out there. I also listed the scenarios in descending order of my hypothesised likelihood.

If you can think of any similar scenarios where the demand far exceed the supply, let me know!

[Harve]

I'm not that masculine, but even so, i definitely prefer guys more feminine than me.

[mnguy]

Nope don't know any of those.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by Bryan90

1) A white caucasian who significantly prefers people of specific color
2) An athletic, slim or average person who significantly prefers someone 'bigger'
3) A 'masculine' guy who significantly prefers a 'feminine' guy (personal subjective definition of 'masculine' and 'feminine' are applied)
4) Straight guys who end up falling in love with a guy or is open to dating gay/bi guys. (same for girls)

1) None that I am extremely aware of, I do however know of rumors about a drag queen who prefers little white twinky bottoms. And is a large black man.

2) I got nothin'.

3) Yes. My good friend Ed. Most people (apparently, leave me out of that) assume he is straight. And he has and probably will always be attracted to very effeminate men. And for those who consider me to lean more towards the masculine side, myself.

4) Yes. Two cases. A friend named Dougie who met my friend Eddie. They hung out a lot and it grew into an actual relationship. Eddie transferred due to home related issues and the couple split. Dougie is back to the ladies. The second one is a friend named, Rach, and she is completely straight, until she met a girl named Chrissy. Chrissy thought Rach was the hottest thing ever. Rach was 25 and had no interest in women. They are now engaged and looking to buy a pet pug together. Rach is still very straight, but in love with Chris.



So ja, my two cents.

[Owen]

1) A white caucasian who significantly prefers people of specific color

My best friend at college is a white gay man who is primarily attracted to Hispanic men.

2) An athletic, slim or average person who significantly prefers someone 'bigger'

*Raises hand*. I consider myself average, and I prefer guys who have at least a little bit of pudge on them. My ideal weight for finding someone attractive seems to be somewhere between 250 and 300 pounds, but give seventy five or take twenty five, I can still find them attractive.

3) A 'masculine' guy who significantly prefers a 'feminine' guy (personal subjective definition of 'masculine' and 'feminine' are applied)

*Raises hand again* I've been told by reliable sources that I'm quite masculine, but I like guys who look feminine (i.e. like a lady, not flamboyant). I also know another masculine guy who also likes feminine men. To give you an idea, we both agreed that we quite fancy Bill Kaulitz.

4) Straight guys who end up falling in love with a guy or is open to dating gay/bi guys. (same for girls)

A friend-with-benefits of mine might fit this category. He's told me he can't be attracted to guys based on physical features alone, but once he gets to know someone (like yours truly), he can be. I can't say for certain, so let me reiterate that he might fit this category.

[MMAnick]

I dont have many gay friends (all of them are online tbh) but one of them fits your first scenarios. He's a white guy who prefers asian.

I guess I might fit that too. I'm a black guy who prefers white (but not limited to) guys.

[IsItSo]

1) Race is not an important factor in whom I find attractive.
2) Not as ridiculously skinny as I am, but not fat.
3) No. There are people out there who do fit this category - they're just not as vocal.
4) Lots of straight people claim that if one day they were to suddenly fall for someone of the same sex, they would be brave and self-accepting ("straight but not narrow"). Of course, there's no real way for them to know whether that's true.

[Zontar]

4) Straight guys who end up falling in love with a guy or is open to dating gay/bi guys. (same for girls)

Lemme tell you a very interesting story. A friend of mine is exactly in this kind of relationship.

He met someone who purported to be a woman on Second Life a while back. They exchanged Skype details, talked a fair bit...then a twist. The "woman" revealed himself to be a man the entire time. Now, I'm not certain if they grew together before or after the reveal...but this friend is very much straight and his mate is bi...and they're in a very affectionate and close mixed-orientation relationship.

A few months ago, I walked down a street with him talking about the entire scenario. Turns out the mixed orientations have put a rather predictable strain on their relationship. He described to me how he was "trying" to become gay so they can enjoy their relationship to the fullest extent when they decide to meet in real life. Up until this point, I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing ever documented. It certainly was bizarre, and frankly, I wasn't sure what to tell him other than "that isn't going to work." Because, you know, it isn't.

All I could pretty much tell him was that he needed to decide if both he and his mate's feelings were enough such that they can forego physical intimacy. I don't know what he's done since because I've only seen him once in the past two months.

It certainly is an interesting thing to think about. I was in the midst of discovering my own sexual feelings as well, and came to the realization that there is no such thing as a "love orientation"...and that we really choose to love who we're sexually compatible with as a matter of convenience and balancing what we want out of a relationship. I wonder how much more often this would happen if more people were aware of such latent capacity for homo-romantic interpersonal relationships.

[Shevanel]

Originally Posted by Zontar

Lemme tell you a very interesting story. A friend of mine is exactly in this kind of relationship.

He met someone who purported to be a woman on Second Life a while back. They exchanged Skype details, talked a fair bit...then a twist. The "woman" revealed himself to be a man the entire time. Now, I'm not certain if they grew together before or after the reveal...but this friend is very much straight and his mate is bi...and they're in a very affectionate and close mixed-orientation relationship.

A few months ago, I walked down a street with him talking about the entire scenario. Turns out the mixed orientations have put a rather predictable strain on their relationship. He described to me how he was "trying" to become gay so they can enjoy their relationship to the fullest extent when they decide to meet in real life. Up until this point, I don't think I've ever heard of such a thing ever documented. It certainly was bizarre, and frankly, I wasn't sure what to tell him other than "that isn't going to work." Because, you know, it isn't.

All I could pretty much tell him was that he needed to decide if both he and his mate's feelings were enough such that they can forego physical intimacy. I don't know what he's done since because I've only seen him once in the past two months.

It certainly is an interesting thing to think about. I was in the midst of discovering my own sexual feelings as well, and came to the realization that there is no such thing as a "love orientation"...and that we really choose to love who we're sexually compatible with as a matter of convenience and balancing what we want out of a relationship. I wonder how much more often this would happen if more people were aware of such latent capacity for homo-romantic interpersonal relationships.

I agree with the last paragraph, but the story you tell is very interesting. Thanks for sharing it

[OutToSea]

1) I don't know any men who fall under this category.
2) I don't know of any slim/athletic guys that prefer "bigger" guys.
3) I fall under this to an extent. I am masculine and have found myself astoundingly attracted to a few quiet, introverted fem men.
4) This has not happened to anybody I know.

[Bryan90]

Originally Posted by Shevanel

I agree with the last paragraph, but the story you tell is very interesting. Thanks for sharing it

Yeah, it's definitely interesting isn't it? I don't know, I've always had a thing for such stories - it's like when love tries to overcome lust from a certian perspective.