Double standard

[mnguy]

Some straight guys, when they're with their male friends, like talking about sexual things they'd like to do or have done with women. If they know that you're gay, you're good friends, and they still make those comments around you, should they be cool listening to your sexual experiences if you would like to "brag" like they do? I think they should be cool with it, but how has it been if you've been in that situation?

[concklin]

Eh, it depends. Most straight guys I know don't like hearing details about guy-on-guy action. Not because they're homophobic, it's just not their thing and it's gross for them to imagine, and by telling them the details out loud, they're gonna have images in their head whether they want to or not.

You would think that since they expect you to listen to them about their sexual escapades, that they SHOULD be fine with listening to your stories. But no. It's all about what the listeners like/don't like to hear. If they don't like hearing about guy-on-guy, then don't talk about it in front of them, or give the friends some sort of warning before talking about it so they can cover their ears. If they don't mind, then feel free. If you don't wanna hear about their stories, let them know. If you don't mind, leave it alone.

[mnguy]

Right, I guess that's what I'm saying. We have to let them know if we don't like their stories (and that would alienate us in some groups), and the default for us is to not talk about ours just as openly or without getting their approval first.

I guess it's just a fact of living in a straight world.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by concklin

If they don't mind, then feel free.

Am I the only one that has ever been ASKED about my personal life? I've had quite a few experiences of guys wanting to know a bit more about gay sex. Questions about who bottoms, things like numbers, does size matter and isn't that a double standard, where do you put things...

I've literally been bombarded. Usually afterwards the guy(s) who was/were asking the questions quickly establishes that they are straight with a story of their own however. Just to prove they aren't TOO curious.

[Chip]

Originally Posted by Daniel

I've literally been bombarded. Usually afterwards the guy(s) who was/were asking the questions quickly establishes that they are straight with a story of their own however. Just to prove they aren't TOO curious.

Closet cases

[concklin]

Originally Posted by Daniel

Am I the only one that has ever been ASKED about my personal life? I've had quite a few experiences of guys wanting to know a bit more about gay sex. Questions about who bottoms, things like numbers, does size matter and isn't that a double standard, where do you put things...

I've literally been bombarded. Usually afterwards the guy(s) who was/were asking the questions quickly establishes that they are straight with a story of their own however. Just to prove they aren't TOO curious.

Sometimes when my straight male roommate makes fun of me (he knows I'm gay and doesn't care but he acts like an ass toward everyone from time to time) and, for example, says something like "did you guys have dirty butt sex?!" like he did last year when he saw me come back to the dorm from hanging at my boyfriend's place, I'd say "not this time, but..." and then proceed to tell him the truth. And then he'd say "...that's nice" and then we can still have a normal conversation like 5 minutes later.

He asks for it, in my opinion

[Beachboi92]

There is a double standard so here is what i do with it. I talk all the shit i feel like talking. If my friends start talking about how they did this or that sexually i jump right in. In general i am incredibly open and have a no bars policy when it comes to expressing myself. If a straight person can say something equivalent to what i am going to say then i say it.

If they have a problem with it i point out the hypocrisy and shut them up xD
Also i actually get plenty of questions about stuff that i've done or my "gay" experiences. I find it best to be completely myself and if people are uncomfortable or don't want to hang around my because of it then fuck the hypocrites i have friends that are 100% accepting of me and i don't need to be friends with a person that is going to go "ewwww" like a 5 year old when i say i touched a dick.

Now i don't have a massive number of straight friends or anything but i do have a decent amount and they seem to be fine about it. I'd rather be myself around less friends than not be able to be myself with more people.

[Daniel]

Originally Posted by concklin

Sometimes when my straight male roommate makes fun of me (he knows I'm gay and doesn't care but he acts like an ass toward everyone from time to time) and, for example, says something like "did you guys have dirty butt sex?!" like he did last year when he saw me come back to the dorm from hanging at my boyfriend's place, I'd say "not this time, but..." and then proceed to tell him the truth. And then he'd say "...that's nice" and then we can still have a normal conversation like 5 minutes later.

He asks for it, in my opinion

Your roommate sounds like mine. He loves cracking jokes like that. "Oh, datt's bee-cause yo're gay." Which he usually says with a thick Chinese accent cause he is, Chinese. Usually then we go into a banter, mocking each other. Roommates can be fun.

[mnguy]

Ok, so it sounds like some straight people who are friends with gay people tend to be pretty cool with an easy give and take in conversations when they involve sexual activities. That's good to hear. I thought I'd hear more of the opposite so this is positive

[Revan]

A lot of my friends are great in that I have a lot of straight friends, but perhaps because we're all drama freaks, we're the type who don't care. Like I've talked about myself and they're like totally fine with it.

[secretstache09]

I unfortunately am the type of person that WANTS to talk about my personal life lol. I sometimes cant help it. I had been holding it in and keeping it to myself for so long that when someone dares ask, they get the whole 9 yards. The one question I love is this one "So you actually like dicks?" My response "Oh yea, especially in my mouth...," not gonna get to explict on how i finish that, but yea you get the idea lol.

[TheEdend]

My friends are also pretty cool about the whole thing. I don't like to go into detail about anything I do anyway, but if we are talking about general stuff then it doesn't bother anyone.

They sometimes ask questions and then I'm the one that stops them xD haha

[Tim]

It depends on the person.

I've noticed women do the same thing around gay guys... One of the old receptionists who I worked with one day decided to explain why she and her boyfriend broke up (cause I asked what happened because they were all lovey dovey a few days before).

Her response: "He wouldn't go down on my poontang."

Yea. Then she elaborated. I think I'm scarred.