Okay, so pretty sure my coworker knows I'm gay, she just thinks that I don't.

Okay, so me and a coworker were just having a conversation about the TV show Mad Men (which I've never seen). My coworker starts going into this long spiel about one character Salvatore Romano, a closeted gay man who, according to her, "doesn't even know that he's gay" and that "everyone else in his office knows".

Well, segue into this different topic of discussion was a little awkward, because it sort of came out of nowhere - one minute we were talking about TV shows, and the next we were randomly talking about closeted homosexuals (actually, she was talking, I was just kind of nodding along). This conversation actually sounded a lot more like one of those "I have this friend" conversations, if you know what I mean.

So now I am pretty sure that based on that conversation that my coworker understands I'm gay and in the closet, since I don't go around declaring my sexuality to everyone who walks through my office door.

It sort of bothers me though that she might think I am closeted because I don't know that I'm gay. I have never denied being queer to anyone who has bothered to ask about it, but it seems instead of asking, a lot of people would rather bait you into bringing it up, either by saying disparaging things about gays to see if you'll speak up against them (another one of my coworkers) or by injecting "gay topics" into otherwise-unrelated conversations so your gay person has a chance to admit to being gay themselves, since they have an opener (most of my other coworkers).

It's funny, but it's kind of frustrating too. If someone wants to know whether I'm queer or not, all they have to do is ask. But I don't feel like it's my responsibility to "own up" to being gay every time something gay gets thrown into conversation, and that's sort of the feeling I get every time someone brings it up. Like someone will say something about gays, and then everyone sits back and waits for me to be like, "Yup, I'm gay. Who won the pot?"