What do you think about a gay couple being called partners?

[Hotspot]

A straight couple is called a couple. But when straight people refer to a gay couple, they call them partners.

What are your thoughts on this? Do you like it when a gay couple are called partners?

I for one don't like this, I find it to be a cold term and sounds like they don't accept us. I mean, why do they get to be called a couple but we are called partners?
In my opinion the term partner should only be used for two people in business, like business partners.

[Shevanel]

I don't use the term partner in reference to any type of romantic relationship. It pisses me off that I even have to clarify myself when using the term partner for things like a business partner or whatever the fuck.

If I have a boyfriend. He's my boyfriend. We're a couple. That's it.

Same as if I have a girlfriend.

[Adam]

I HATE the term partners!!! I will never refer to anyone I date as my partner, and I wouldn't like being called partners.

[Danielle]

The thing is that there are a lot worse that you can be called and partner is in no way a derogatory term.

This just seems very petty.

[maverick]

It doesn't bother me. In fact, I've heard the term "boyfriend" be used in a much more derogatory manner, in much the same way people over-emphasized the word "boy" towards African-Americans to make it condescending.

[Chip]

It could be a lot worse. Back in the early 80s, it was "my lover", as in "Hi, my name's Mike, and this is my lover, Joe." I always thought that was exceptionally tacky.

My own experience is that gay couples around here (northern CA) are called couples. "Joe and Steve are a couple." But you wouldn't say "this is my couple, Steve", you'd say "This is my partner, Steve." And likewise, I know plenty of unmarried hetero couples who refer to each other as "partners."

Personally, I think it's a little tacky or weird or something for one partner to refer to the other as his "husband", unless they are actually married (since most gay couples are not), especially given that marriage is now possible in a number of states.

I think that it can be easy sometimes to be hypersensitive to perceived slurs or prejudice against gay people where none exists. I think this might be one of those times.

[Owen]

Like Chip said, partner may not be the best term when used in the plural form to describe two men or two women who are together, but in describing one person, it's the best gender neutral term we have (sure, there's "mate", but if I'm not wrong, in Australian slang, mate refers to a friend, so it can be misconstrued that way). Maybe it's just because I'm not all that emotional of a person, but a "cold" word like "partner" isn't all that off-putting to me.

I personally use the world "partner" in two situations: One, when talking about other people's hypothetical boyfriend or girlfriend or collective boyfriends and girlfriends as a shorter replacement for the phrase "boyfriend or girlfriend". For example, if I'm talking to someone who's bisexual about what they are looking for in a mate, I'll ask what they are looking for in their partner. If I had a child, I would never enforce heteronormativity in my household, and one of the ways I would avoid doing that is referring to their future significant others using gender-neutral words like "partner". The other situation where I'll use it is when I don't want to make my sexuality an issue. For example, though my parents are accepting of my sexuality, I don't like to bring it up with them because it's a deeply personal thing, and referring to a future mate as a "boyfriend" does bring it up. Thus I use the word "partner" because, again, it is gender neutral and can't be mistaken as me referring to a friend (though once I've made it clear that we're talking about romantic partners, I've been known to switch to "mate").

[Pepsi]

I don't think its derogatory but I do dislike it. If I wasn't married to someone and I was in a relationship with them I'd call them my boyfriend. Even if we were together for an exceptionally long time I wouldn't use the word partner because I think it feels cold and distant.

[malachite]

I don't do it, if someone else uses it it doesn't bother me, but I call him my Boyfriend. Some people I know call people they've been with for years their husband. Its only a word, but the fact that people want to us to use PC words for our relationships T's me off.

[Enaithor]

I really dislike it when people use partners, they use it as a euphemism
And why should homosexuality be euphemised (is that a word?), it's just like hetero love but the homo version
I've even been corrected with it before like "Yeah and his boyfriend-" "*ahem* partners" and my brain is just like "excuse me he is his boyfriend what are you chatting about" but of course I can't say that aloud

[ArcaneVerse]

If its used without any negative undertone I don't see the problem. I also don't think most people use it to demean the relationship of a gay couple, they just use what feels more comfortable for everyone. I use the term partner when someone is in a relationship, gay or straight, usually when they have been in it for a long period of time as I feel the terms boyfriend and girlfriend can devalue the relationship at that point. A partner to me means a more stable and strong bond.

I will still use the word partner to label my significant other even if I get married (guy or girl), I never liked Wife or Husband. Its way too 40year old couple with kids and no passion left. sounds lame to me.

Anyways just use what ever term you prefer, everyone will feel differently about certain words. If someone uses a word you don't like just politely correct them and explain why and even if they don't change or listen you have to get passed shit like that because its just petty and it doesn't make them a bad person either.

[Revan]

I frankly get pissed off when even a gay couple use it. It's like, you are a couple, not partners. You're basically giving straight people the right to call you guys partners and not couples >_>

[kettlkorn]

The word partner makes me think of old detective movies, where the rogue cop is lamenting the loss of his former accomplice in the pursuit of justice.

[ArcaneVerse]

Originally Posted by Revan

I frankly get pissed off when even a gay couple use it. It's like, you are a couple, not partners. You're basically giving straight people the right to call you guys partners and not couples >_>

Gays have the right to use whatever word they want. We dont give straight people the right, they already have it. we don't and shouldn't be able to dictate what people prefer to use, you can advise that it can be offensive to some, you can ask them not to refer to you and your (boyfriend, other, partner, man, husband, soulmate, "insert tacky pet name" etc) as whatever you find offensive but at the end of the day its not your right to regulate what words people use. You may not like it but that's the way it is.

I just don't get the overly exaggerated fuss, its not like its the word "faggot" or the phrase "that's so gay" which are very negative and more likely to be hurtful.

but what evs

[Meropspusillus]

I know plenty of straight people who call their spouse/significant-other/whatever their partners.

[Mystery]

I've noticed in the business environment, when you are speaking to somebody on a professional level, their significant other(straight or homosexual) is usually called partner if they're unmarried. I think it just seems more professional than saying boyfriend/girlfriend. On a social level though, I think whether you are gay or straight, what you call them should be whatever you are comfortable referring to them as. I have my personal preference that I'm entitled to as does everybody else.

[Z3ni]

Ermm I don't see a difference, besidies the word "partner" is used for hetro people too.

[Fintan]

When I first went to University (I am from a small rural town), a ton of my professors talked about their partners... the first few I heard this from I assumed that they must be gay.... but after the third or fourth I realised it was just the new 'thing'.

I think in academia, they are trying to promote talking about your "partner" to remove the religious aspect associated with "marriage" and promote the equality of homosexuals to heterosexuals.

Is this working? Will it work? I don't know.

[x2x2x2x2y2]

When people use this, it feels like they're further separating gay and straight people, which isn't good imo. That may be over exaggerated, but that's just my opinion on the matter.

[Ralivar]

Personally I think that a younger couple should be referred to as boyfriend or girlfriend, and that in older couples they should be referred to as partners (If they aren't married.) I don't know why but I think when an older couple are referred to or refer to each other as boyfriend or girlfriend it just sounds strange, whether it's a straight or a gay couple, but that's just me.