Sterotypes and Developing Homo/Bisexuality

[Zontar]

Is there any truth to the stereotype that children who engage in gender-atypical behavior are more often gay in adolescence?

I recall playing with the girls and such on the playground instead of the boys back in first grade...me and this other boy, who I found out this year grew up to be gay himself. One part of me says it's all bull...another part of me recalls physiological similarities of gay men and women to their heterosexual opposite-gendered counterparts.

[maverick]

Originally Posted by Zontar

Is there any truth to the stereotype that children who engage in gender-atypical behavior are more often gay in adolescence?

I recall playing with the girls and such on the playground instead of the boys back in first grade...me and this other boy, who I found out this year grew up to be gay himself. One part of me says it's all bull...another part of me recalls physiological similarities of gay men and women to their heterosexual opposite-gendered counterparts.

I don't think it's bull at all, I do think that gender-atypical behavior in childhood can and often does lead to homosexual or transgendered tendencies as an adult. Sure, some people grow out of those tendencies as they get older, but if a kid consistently chooses activities and dress of the opposite gender (as well as friends of the opposite gender), then all signs point to queer in my book. Likes and dislikes are a huge expression of self. If your five year-old girl likes cowboys and your five year-old boy likes high heels, better start bracing yourself early as far as I'm concerned.

I think queer kids tend to choose friends of the opposite gender because their perceived homosexuality is most often an issue of contention when it comes to kids of their own gender - in my experience, a boy is most likely to call another boy a "faggot", and a girl is most likely to call another girl a "dyke".

I was aware of my hyper-vulnerability as a transgendered kid in the Deep South, so by high school I was choosing to pursue gender-neutral activities - art, academics, and music - as did most of the queers I grew up with. Once I got to high school, my main goal was invisibility, and I'm sure it was the same for my closeted peers.

[Pseudojim]

I liked hanging with the boys AND the girls. Rough and tumble as well as gentle and dainty. So i guess it KINDA fits.

[Shevanel]

Most of my friends were (and still are) guys back in the day. But I had a lot of friends who were girls because I liked them. I was a kindergarten playa. So I'd say this doesn't fit with me at all, because I never "liked" any of my guy friends.

[zeratul]

When I was little I liked taking bath together with my cousin of the same gender... But most of my friends are male because I have trouble maintaining friendship with females, I didnt really understand girls, what their hobbies were, why, etc.

[RaRa]

Actually when I was younger I would hang out with guys a lot, than when I realized I was homo I started hanging out with chicks more. This was around 9th grade. I just prefer the company of females. The guys I was surrounded by were just.....pieces of shit.

[partietraumatic]

My favourite power ranger was the Pink power ranger...

But on a serious note, I think there is definitely something to the theory. When I was young I displayed a few supposedly 'feminine' traits and likes, I didn't like sports etc.

However, interestingly, as I moved through into adolesence I started getting into sport and generally took on some more masculine likes.

As for friends, I went to an all boys school, and had no problem making friends and getting on with boys. But equally I have always go on well with girls.

So, basically, this post has been entirely unhelpful, as for me it seems the answer is both yes and no

[Foxywolf]

I guess I do have some more 'masculine' traits, like I always liked wearing baggy t-shirts instead of the tight fitting stuff all the girls were wearing. I liked video games and hated shopping for clothes but loved shopping for video games. I never really had any friends that were boys though, always had friends that were girls - ever since elementary school. In total I've had about two boys that I considered 'friends.' I don't know. I think it varies from person to person.

[roborama]

i think it varies person to person. the only thing i can think of for me personally is the fact i only had pictures of female celebrites on my wall when i was younger but i really dont fit the sterotype, my friends call me the staightest lesbian they know

[Filip]

Well, looking back at my brother and I, when we were younger...

- One of us liked playing with his G.I.Joes, and the other wanted a soft doll to snuggle with.
- One of us had only male friends, while the other got along well with girls
- One of us liked to play with Meccano and build stuff, while the other was more into the little kitchen play-doh set.

you might think you know who was who, but actually, the one playing with dolls, getting along with girls, and playing with the play-doh kitchen set was my brother. Who's totally straight, and yet I turned out totally gay.

Then again, I'm probably forgetting my insistance on wearing socks in my sandals when I was younger, and leaving out that my brother had a gun obsession even back then, so it isn't really clear-cut.

And also, looking back, I can see all the signs, and reinterpret my life in that light. But hindsight is always 20/20. What would have been a quirk in case i turned out straight, is now interpreted as a tell-tale sign, because I'm gay.

I don't think it's bull, though. You can't draw statistical consequences from anecdotes like mine, nor can you use population statistics to explain the behaviour of single cases. I'd wait until I see a study on it, though.

[FizzDurand]

Well there is a theory that being could be caused by a lack of certain hormones while developing in the womb. Of coarse this is just a theory but what scares me is that if it could be something to do with the hormones doesnt that mean it could be fixed ??? which also poses the question is it a mental instability ??? i think its a possible theory but i choose not to believe it on the grounds that .... well it upsets me.

[Lexington]

I think there may be something there, but it's dangerous to start thinking in absolutes. The truth isn't going to be "there's nothing to this at all", and it won't be "you can tell who will be gay by what you play and who you play with". Like most things, the answer is probably in the middle. I'd say kids who do "gender atypical" things will be more likely to be gay. I know I preferred hopscotch to kickball, for one. But I wasn't the only guy to do so, and I know at least one other guy who ended up straight.

Lex

[MyDecember]

Originally Posted by Zontar

Is there any truth to the stereotype that children who engage in gender-atypical behavior are more often gay in adolescence?

I recall playing with the girls and such on the playground instead of the boys back in first grade...me and this other boy, who I found out this year grew up to be gay himself. One part of me says it's all bull...another part of me recalls physiological similarities of gay men and women to their heterosexual opposite-gendered counterparts.

I would say no.

Stereotypes have their truth and exaggerations. I would say that children who are raised in a gender-atypical are more open to the idea that they could be homosexual, at a young age, in contrast to children who are raised in a gender rules environment where that is not an option at such a young age

Sure, if a child is gay and raised with a gender-atypical upbringing you might notice it fairly young because they had no gender boundaries telling them how they should act and what they did gender wise, was wrong, other than agents of socialization, who at the time, were little boys and girl. The major agents of socialization are the parents and their praise is beyond influential to children. It's law. (Take for example, to put in perspective, racists: Racists father tells his child black people are horrible and no matter how many children and his teacher tell him he's wrong...daddy is always right.)

So because we see these kids being so comfortable with who they are at such a young age we often characterize this into a stereotype. We are so used to children following strict gender roles and because we are a strict gender rule society, gay children who are raised in a gender-atypical or gender neutral house hold stick out like a sore thumb.

Now once they hit their teens and everyone is coming out, we forget that they ever were part of this stereotype and we look back to younger children who are being raised gender-atypical for reassurance to confirm the stereotype.

At least thats my theory.

[Allecto]

I was into girly stuff (e.g. Disney princesses, dresses) up until first or second grade, when I got into more gender-neutral stuff. I started pinging everyone's gaydar in middle school, although that might have been because I didn't wear tons of makeup and girly clothes and I didn't constantly talk about boys.

[Wonderless]

The stereotypes dont fit everyone but a very high precentage does. Which ialso thinks its stupid that there are even stereotypes for it

[thedreamwatch]

I'm not a rebel, but I honestly think that most stereotypes don't fit me.

I played with dolls, but often I played "camping" with them.
I read books about princesses, but also played pirates with my best friend (who was a boy)
When I got a little older, I preferred to climb trees over playing house, but I still wore dresses.
As a pre-teen I was awkward, just like everyone else.
As a teenager, I didn't wear a ton of girly stuff, but not the opposite either. I wore girl's jeans and unisex t-shirts mostly. that's pretty much what I still wear, and I'm in college, so that's not weird.

Does any of that scream "HOMO" to you? I think it's pretty average, but maybe I'm biased here because I don't seem to show up on many gaydars and some people were surprised to hear that I'm gay.

So, a certain type of kid doesn't really translate well into if your kid is MOST DEFINITELY going to be gay or straight, as far as I'm concerned, although in some cases, I'm sure it's an indicator.

[TheRoof]

well at least for me, this totally fits, because i never liked sports, i hung out with girls mostly (and still do), i wanted dolls instead of all those robots and whatnots...etc.
but like someone said above, it's different from person to person, and it's not absolute.

[Aya McCabre]

I suspect that there would be more of a difference in who comes out rather than who is queer. I live with a wee boy who is constantly told not to act like a girl. I'm seeing this through the lense of feminism, but for boys at least not conforming to gender stereotypes is often seen as a defect to be fixed. There are plenty of little boys around who would be ashamed if someone said they were behaving like a girl. Society teaches boys to see girls as inferior and feminin behaviour is something to be avoided at all costs. So it makes sense to me that the children who were raised in this way would be more reluctant to come out - being gay is always associated with acting like the oposite gender, even if you don't and never has. So a child who was raised to feel ashamed of acting like the wrong gender would be more likely to feel ashamed of being gay when compared to a child who was always allowed to be themselves. I think all children would have at least some non-gender characteristics if they were allowed to show them. I know that at my school it was the girls who played soccer and climbed trees.... And I suspect that it has something to do with the kind of parents who send their girls to an expensive and accademically prestigeous school (when they're five years old). Being academically successful and becoming a doctor or whatever is still seen as a male thing, so the huge number of tomboys (and possibly the above-average number of lesbians) could have something to do with us all having parents who expect us to go into male-dominated carreers and therefore don't mind us acting like guys.

[Beachboi92]

I believe studies show that children who gender dissociate (partake in gender a-typical behavior as habit) have a 50% chance of being LGBT.

Something that i've come to realize more and more is that our gender norms and stereotypes and the stigma towards LGBT people and gay relationships, and breaking gender norms/stereotypes has really put us in a climate where we are all being fed the wrong statistics. I am a firm believer that most people are inherently bisexual on some level and capable of being in gay or straight relationships to a different degree. The problem is that the stigma keeps anyone from doing it unless their tendency is overwhelming.

I read a study of indonesian (i believe that was the area) societies that had no labels for sexual orientation or LGBT stigma (same sex relations where considered natural and common) and in those tribes 90% of people interacted sexually with both sexes. only 5% showed completely hetero interaction and only 5% showed completely homo interaction.

I personally believe that as we see a greater climate of acceptance we will see bisexual become a lot more common because people will be willing to admit to it more.

In Elementary school I did a lot of basketball and soccer, because those were just THE sports at my school. After a while though, I started drifting away from the big field and court and over to the swings, cement, and playground. There I did more jump rope and tag.
I also remember starting to hang out with my sister and playing with her 'Polly Pockets'. Eventually though something clicked in my head and told me this wasn't normal. I kept playing tag and jump rope, but the dolls were replaced with video games and toy guns. Looking back most of my friends have been girls, and all my best friends, were girls.
So yea, I guess it does kind of fit.