Man, where do I start, well, i suppose my history would categorize me as strait but all of the things i am told i should be feeling, physically and mentally from guys, hasen't happened/ isn't happening at all. I am not really attracted to guys but i have been questionaing my sexuality for a long time. i was and am just scared of the possibility i might be a lesbian because i have done a good job faking being heterosexual thru all my teens and more and apart of me wants to just stay in the closet and blend in with the backround of strait people, yet another part of me is saying, "is this really how it's supposed to be?" sex with no feeling or intamacy, or or attraction to a guy?. to make a long story short, i was hopein' if someone could give me advice or directions to where i could take a strait or gay test haha, so to speak, honestly thou, are there any definate ways to know who you are attracted to?
I am sort of in the same boat. Although I'm not really afraid of being a lesbian, I am still sort of afraid of women and expressing my feelings, but not of being gay. I'm not much older than you and I have also never experienced anything in the realm of attraction for a guy. I too thought it would happen by now, or at least I thought I did. I spent all of high school not really caring if I was interested in anyone or not, so I never really questioned my sexuality. Although now that I am, I can see some signs that I might be gay. I've been pondering the question you are asking for just over a year now and although I want to say I'm sure I'm gay, there is still a part of me that questions. Yeah, I was looking for a test too when I first started questioning, but there is definitely not one. I personally have no way of knowing how to know who you are attracted to. So far, at least I think, I have not connected with anyone on a deep level in the intimate way I'd imagined I would. I have been physically attracted to some females, but I seem to be pretty picky. Anyways, I guess I dont really have an answer for you, other than I guess you know when you know. I wonder if its a moment of "wham! realization" or just gradual realization? Not sure. I'm sure I didn't do much good trying to explain myself, sorry I'm still trying to figure it out too. Its very frustrating because everytime I think I'm close, I'm still in reality so far away.
I'm sure there are plenty of people out there looking for that "gay or straight test". But unfortunately I haven't come across one as yet (but the search will continue!). Like both yourself and Zec24, I never felt an attraction towards guys during highschool. Although sometimes it confused me, I never really put much thought as to why I wasn't with anyone. I just figured I hadn't found the right guy and when the time was right, Mr Perfect would come along and awaken all of those feelings my friends were experiencing in their relationships. But that never happened. No matter who I met (male-wise), I never had any feeling of excitement, desire, or attraction at all. Purely plutonic. Now my feelings towards females on the other hand was different, and this is what has helped me realise that I am a lesbian. I knew I liked girls from an early age, but I was too young to properly understand my feelings. I felt drawn to being in the company of girls, I liked being close to them, I would protect them from the boys during play fights, and other little things like that. In highschool I sometimes had to refrain from turning my head if an attractive girl walked past, I developed 'girl crushes' and would get butterflies around them. Basically, they made me feel things that I never felt for any guys. Although I also did the 'straight' act during highschool and dated a few guys- but they didn''t feel right to me. So although there is no proper 'test' that can confirm your sexual preference, all I can advise is to listen to what your mind is telling you. Since coming to my own realisation, I have discovered so many little signs that have hinted my orientation all along that I never took notice of. Maybe take some time to reflect on your own experiences and feelings and what actually makes you feel comfortable. Can you imagine settling down with a man and being with him? Or are you more comfortable picturing yourself with another woman? There are a lot of things to consider. Hope this helped a bit. Sorry it's a bit long winded though.
Ok, Revealed did a much better job of describing what I was trying to get at but failed to do. I completely agree with the quote from her post above. The same things always applied to me, thus the signs I mentioned in my post (but didn't explain). Like Revealed said, what do you imagine being comfortable with? That is still hard, and where I still stumble because I am worried maybe I'm forcing myself to imagine that I'd rather not date guys. Maybe I've thought about it so much that I've convinced myself I'd be comfortable with a woman? I know I probably question and overthink things too much, but I'm the kind of personal that likes some grounding in reality rather than imagination. I need hard evidence, but since I haven't had any experience with either males or females, I can't go the last 5% and conclude that I am gay for a fact. I always have to go off of these signs that Revealed talked about, those feelings I had for girls back when I wasn't even questioning my sexuality. Its my only way to judge at this point my orientation.
didnt read it all cause i have to be gone in 2 minutes but if you like girls and have that butterfly feeling in your stomach when you are around one of your friend or someone you admire at a distance..then you know. If you like both then this feeling should happen to two different people 1 being male, 1 being female. If you were truly straight you would not be questioning your sexuality. Some people claim to be bicurious but i find that to be a load of crap. If you are curious then you admit to seeing someone of the same sex that peek your interest(in the pants) and want to hold them or love them or just be with them. If this has happened then you should for sure know... dont worry about anyone but yourself during this time in your life and the answer should come to you on its own.
Have a look at the Kinsey scale, this might help to clarify things in your mind a bit... not much maybe, but a bit : http://fr.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alfred_Kinsey#.C3.89chelle_de_Kinsey
It's your life so don't you don't have to listen to me when i say this because only you can know what u feel. You said that you aren't really attracted to men... as such. I mean not the way everyone says you you should. It depends what emotions you feel for guys. I'm really unsure at the moment about my sexuality but i'm getting closer and closer to admiting that i'm 100% gay. lol. I don't feel anything sexual for girls but i still have other feelings for them. I'ts even hard for someone who's experienced what you have to explain but the big thing is who your physically attracted to. A comon example of this is straight guys/girls there is always feelings of love between friends of the same gender whether we admit it or not. this isn't normally physical attraction and many straight people get confused by this too so ur not alone. You just have to seperate the friend love from true love or feelings. This is just what goes through my head but i hope it's helpful 4 u too.
I can't really tell you a definite answer or a litmus test (if that's how you spell) for being gay, but whenever anyone asks me how I know I give them this answer: When a straight person hugs a person of the opposite sex, or holds their hand, they get a feeling, a little giggle in their stomach or something like that...that's exactly the same for me, except that I get it when I hug someone of the same sex. I hope that helps, and Im sorry if it doesn't...As i said, the only person who can really answer the question of your sexuality is yourself...How do you feel when you are around people of the opposite/same sex?...Do you get "the feeling" from both, one or the other, or none of them in particular
