Asexual?

[Ghostly]

Hmm I'm still confused about the word, does it mean that a person is not attracted to either gender at all and/or is not intrested in sexual activity?

If so, I sometimes feel that I'm not attracted to either gender and I for some reason don't like the idea of sex and find myself repulsed to even thinking about doing it.

Anyone else feel like this?

[NickT]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

[Ghostly]

Originally Posted by NickT

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Asexuality

yea, I already read that XD

[ccooper0602]

Hmmm... well... I can say that I definitely don't feel like having sex some days but... I still find men attractive.

[f33d]

Yeah, same here - I find them attractive, but having sex with one is kinda a remote idea yet o.O But I think a lot about cuddling and kissing (: I'm a cuddle-whore xD lol

[Tim]

Asexuality.org is a much better resource for it, At least for the most part. There are many different (not sure what word to use here... classifications?) of asexuality.

Their explanation on one of their pages explains pretty much how I am, and honestly, it sounds similar to your situation, as well as others in the thread.

Attraction
Many asexual people experience attraction, but we feel no need to act out that attraction sexually. Instead we feel a desire to get to know someone, to get close to them in whatever way works best for us. Asexual people who experience attraction will often be attracted to a particular gender, and will identify as lesbian, gay, bi, or straight.

But labels are just that - labels.

[TheJoker]

Asexuality,Repressed,Depressed,or scared..Anything is possible I read couple of asexuals words..and they are all different.I think many asexuals are repressed,depressed or scared to try sexual things.Because some says they had never ever felt anything sexual,some says they regularly do masturbation,some says just wet dreams,some says they had sex but didn't feel much.Sone says only idea,fantasy is arousal but not towards to person.

For some people its so easy to realize what they like,for some its so difficult and confusing.Personaly, i think its our Ego surpass our ID too much(freudian stuff )

[Ghostly]

Originally Posted by misunderstood

Asexuality,Repressed,Depressed,or scared..Anything is possible I read couple of asexuals words..and they are all different.I think many asexuals are repressed,depressed or scared to try sexual things.Because some says they had never ever felt anything sexual,some says they regularly do masturbation,some says just wet dreams,some says they had sex but didn't feel much.Sone says only idea,fantasy is arousal but not towards to person.

but it's not that I'm depressed or scared -.- It just... does not interest me :/

[Zontar]

Originally Posted by misunderstood

Asexuality,Repressed,Depressed,or scared..Anything is possible I read couple of asexuals words..and they are all different.I think many asexuals are repressed,depressed or scared to try sexual things.Because some says they had never ever felt anything sexual,some says they regularly do masturbation,some says just wet dreams,some says they had sex but didn't feel much.Sone says only idea,fantasy is arousal but not towards to person.

For some people its so easy to realize what they like,for some its so difficult and confusing.Personaly, i think its our Ego surpass our ID too much(freudian stuff )

Officially, asexuality is not considered an illness. I think pathology can induce it but not every case is pathological.

[Meropspusillus]

Just going off of the words:
Heterosexual - Sexually attracted to opposite (hetero) sex.
Bisexual - Sexually attracted to two/both (bi) sexes.
Homosexual - Sexually attracted to same (homo) sex.
Asexual - Sexually attracted to no (a) sex.
So etymologically I'd assume that asexuals aren't sexually to anybody. However, I'm sure it's not so black-and-white. Note that I bolded sexually, I feel that sexual attraction and other sorts of attraction are very different things.

[TheJoker]

Originally Posted by Vampirekid

but it's not that I'm depressed or scared -.- It just... does not interest me :/

Its not that easy sometimes to realized if you are depressed or not.If you are not, then maybe somehow repressed your sexuality.Or Maybe its because you are 16.Maybe you will feel some attraction somehow or maybe you will like it after you had sex.Don't think about it much and definetely don't force yourself,don't analize.I wish i was 16 again and somebody adviced me these.

[Elven]

To be fair I would see it as innacurate, the classifications of Heterosexual, Homosexual, Bisexual, Asexual, Transgendered, etc, sometimes fail to explain precicely how a person may feel/see themselves. For instance some people may be attracted sexually to men but can only seem to develop a more emotional connection with women, does this make them Bi? A person may feel mentally attracted to the same sex but doesn't have any sexual desire, would this classify as Asexual or would the mental attraction make them Homosexual? Or both?

People may often feel more comfortable if they are able to classify themselves as something but sometimes simple labels or classes can't really reflect how a person may feel. The definition of Asexual likley differs from perspective to perspective, if someone had no attraction whatsoever they would probably refer to themselves as Asexual however someone who can mentally bond with people in that way but has no sexual desire might also go by Asexual, or just use whatever they feel best relates to them, perhaps Pansexual.

As a case of whether Asexuality is just people who fear having sex, I highly doubt it. Of cource there will be people who fear sexual interaction and may use Asexuality as a label to get across the point that they have no desire to take part in it, however I should think that there are a great many people who really do not find any attraction in sexual intercource, so it's not neccesarily that they are repressing their desires or that they fear it, but simply that they would not get a great deal of enjoyment out of having sex.

[Beachboi92]

Originally Posted by misunderstood

Its not that easy sometimes to realized if you are depressed or not.If you are not, then maybe somehow repressed your sexuality.Or Maybe its because you are 16.Maybe you will feel some attraction somehow or maybe you will like it after you had sex.Don't think about it much and definetely don't force yourself,don't analize.I wish i was 16 again and somebody adviced me these.

1) A depressed person not being able to realize they are depressed is ridiculous, you feel sad a lot it's pretty easy to grasp that
2) At 16 people can tell they are sexually attracted to either sex and identify as lesbian gay and even trans i don't see how at 16 he can't understand that he isn't sexually attracted to either
3) Saying he may like it eventually is like telling a gay person they will probably want to have sex with a girl sometime or that they will like sex with girls if they just do it
4) He really should analyze it and come to understand his sexual identity it is a natural thing for everyone else and it is for him

Asexuality is perfectly real, some people just don't have a drive to be sexually involved with other people. He could also be Pansexual and require an emotional attachment to someone before developing any physical desires. He may just never be interested in it.

My questions are
1) Do you ever watch porn or get sexually excited from that? do you masturbate to it?
2) Has anyone ever given you an erection?

I would say these things are indicators that you probably are not A-sexual because they mean that you are having a sexual attraction to something or you would not be sexually aroused. But that is just a guess from me xD I'm no expert on A-sexuality i just knew a person who was once.

[TheJoker]

1-)Depression is different than feeling sad,emotional.Most cheerful people could be depressive and they might even didn't realize it.As you might know, many people who feels low desire for sex and don't know why, usually gets depression treatment.
2-)Everybody is different.This is why many people realized they are gay after marriage.
3-) I had sex with girls and i liked.Ok, im confused but i thought i wouldn't like it before try it.He may not be %100 straight or gay.
4-)Overanalyzing sexuality might cause problems both mentally or sexually.Obsessive thoughts,also a reason of homophobia,usually starts with overanalyzing.

About your questions,im not sure,because there were many asexuals who says get excited by porn.For example me,I have never masturbated, i dont consider myself as asexual (maybe i should )

Erection can happen in many situations.There are gay people who gets erection from girlfriends.Also asexuals who has erection but no urge to have sex.Also erection can happen from physical contact.

I think best for him,if he minds,going to psychiatrist and solve it together.

[Ghostly]

Originally Posted by misunderstood

1-)Depression is different than feeling sad,emotional.Most cheerful people could be depressive and they might even didn't realize it.As you might know, many people who feels low desire for sex and don't know why, usually gets depression treatment.
2-)Everybody is different.This is why many people realized they are gay after marriage.
3-) I had sex with girls and i liked.Ok, im confused but i thought i wouldn't like it before try it.He may not be %100 straight or gay.
4-)Overanalyzing sexuality might cause problems both mentally or sexually.Obsessive thoughts,also a reason of homophobia,usually starts with overanalyzing.

About your questions,im not sure,because there were many asexuals who says get excited by porn.For example me,I have never masturbated, i dont consider myself as asexual (maybe i should )

Erection can happen in many situations.There are gay people who gets erection from girlfriends.Also asexuals who has erection but no urge to have sex.Also erection can happen from physical contact.

I think best for him,if he minds,going to psychiatrist and solve it together.

-.- I don't need to see a psychiatrist because I do not have mental issues or am insane. And no I don't watch porn or masterbate and it doesn't turn me on becuase I think it is pointless and I find no interest in it.

This seems a like a topic that can't be analyzed over the internet with a group of people who think they know what they're talking about. I agree with the above statement; if you truly are unsure, then you can go to a psychiatrist or counselor and figure out how you feel. If you do happen to have any other issues, the psychiatrist/counselor would help you find them. Many emotions/feelings can be held underneath unconsciously and be detrimental to your health, both mental and physical. Also, like stated before, it's not set in stone, and therefore you can't say that just because you don't have the urges now doesn't mean you won't later. I am not saying you aren't 'asexual,' I'm just saying that sometimes there has to be the right circumstances for someone to be sexually aroused. The idea of having sex with one of my friends disgusts me. The idea of having sex with a boyfriend isn't as weird, especially if I develop feelings for them. Perhaps you have similar requirements, but again it depends on you. I'm not saying expect to want to have sex; I'm just saying don't assume you won't. Things could change (despite whether or not you want them to) and I still recommend you go see someone to help you with your confusion on the subject who is actually qualified to help you.

---------- Post added 18th Feb 2011 at 05:57 PM ----------

Originally Posted by Vampirekid

-.- I don't need to see a psychiatrist because I do not have mental issues or am insane. And no I don't watch porn or masterbate and it doesn't turn me on becuase I think it is pointless and I find no interest in it.

Seeing a psychiatrist does not mean you have mental issues... There are many fields of psychology, not just the cognitive, and by no means do any good psychiatrists only use a cognitive perspective. And by-the-by, you can't always know what's going on in your cognitive/mental processes to be able to state that there is nothing wrong with them (not that I am stating there is).

[Ghostly]

Originally Posted by silvousplait

This seems a like a topic that can't be analyzed over the internet with a group of people who think they know what they're talking about. I agree with the above statement; if you truly are unsure, then you can go to a psychiatrist or counselor and figure out how you feel. If you do happen to have any other issues, the psychiatrist/counselor would help you find them. Many emotions/feelings can be held underneath unconsciously and be detrimental to your health, both mental and physical. Also, like stated before, it's not set in stone, and therefore you can't say that just because you don't have the urges now doesn't mean you won't later. I am not saying you aren't 'asexual,' I'm just saying that sometimes there has to be the right circumstances for someone to be sexually aroused. The idea of having sex with one of my friends disgusts me. The idea of having sex with a boyfriend isn't as weird, especially if I develop feelings for them. Perhaps you have similar requirements, but again it depends on you. I'm not saying expect to want to have sex; I'm just saying don't assume you won't. Things could change (despite whether or not you want them to) and I still recommend you go see someone to help you with your confusion on the subject who is actually qualified to help you.

---------- Post added 18th Feb 2011 at 05:57 PM ----------

Seeing a psychiatrist does not mean you have mental issues... There are many fields of psychology, not just the cognitive, and by no means do any good psychiatrists only use a cognitive perspective. And by-the-by, you can't always know what's going on in your cognitive/mental processes to be able to state that there is nothing wrong with them (not that I am stating there is).

kk maybe those are your opinions with it, but to me sex is overated, I don't find it interesting or stuff, you know wat...MAYBE one day I'll change my mind but for now I am certain I do not want to participate in it :/

Why post the thread if you're reputing any advice posted here? Seems kind of pointless to me, but hey if that's what you consider to be a good use of time, have fun with it. Also, they are not my opinion, they are just possibilities. Sorry for listing them if you feel uncomfortable with them, as it sounds you do because you seem to reject any idea of having an issue. I have many issues, that doesn't make me weird or a bad person. I'm not saying you do want to, will want to, or should want to participate in sex, I'm just saying that you're ruling out the possibility that this rejection of the idea of having sex is rooted in something else...

[Aya McCabre]

Sexuality isn't set in stone.... there's no reason you can't go with asexual now and perhaps change it later if you want to. It's just a label, so go with whatever feels right.

[TheJoker]

Originally Posted by Vampirekid

kk maybe those are your opinions with it, but to me sex is overated, I don't find it interesting or stuff, you know wat...MAYBE one day I'll change my mind but for now I am certain I do not want to participate in it :/

Its okay then As long as you dont see it as problem, you dont need to try solve Also you are young.Many people who crave for sex,can't have it even when they are adult (ok, it was cruel)