I started a while ago to let my guard down and create an online dating profile. NEVER AGAIN. After some of the oldest creepiest men sending me messages, I met this one guy. We've been talking on the phone and texting for the last month. I'm still not too sure about him but we decided to meet today at a coffee place at 11. Not gonna lie. I was nervous as hell. But I was so excited to meet him. Neither one of us is out to anybody. I got to the place at 11.. and waited.. and waited.. ordered a first, a second, a third cup of coffee.. and waited.. I tried calling him a bunch of times and no answer. I texted him and no answer. I sat there for 2 hours waiting for him and left feeling like an idiot. I spent all morning figuring out what to where. My hair was perfect. I looked and smelled amazing and felt like a million bucks. I drove 45 minutes sacrificing a whole morning where I DID have other things to do, for me to leave looking and feeling like an idiot. Has anybody had this happen to them? I know he's gonna call me again this week and I haven't quite figured out what I want to say to him yet. If I told him to get lost and stay there, would that be an overreaction?
Hi there! Sorry to hear that you got stood up. (*hug*) Those are never fun. It happened to me once, and yeah, it didn't feel nice. But you know what? Don't feel stupid for it. Try looking at it this way: he stood you up, he missed a chance to get to know you. It is up to him to contact you and to explain why he didn't show up. There could be a logical explanation for it but you also have to think about what would be best for you. If you feel you want to give him another chance, and try to meet up with him again at the same coffee place, give it a go. If not, you can just tell him you are busy and that you will call him, and just leave it at that.
Well a couple things Dating in the closet is in general a bad idea. There are so many problems that come with dating while not out. There is the inability to go out together, the possibility that after breaking up they will out you, the constant worry of discovery, the problems you run into where they can't do this or you can't do that because suspicions have to be kept low. Then there is also the chance they will swivel back into denial and then you will have a really hard break up on your hands. So my advice is don't date until your out because even if this does work out it will be really hard to keep going and will likely fail when looked at realistically. Focus on coming out not on dating. That being said i've been there, talking to a guy a ton keep making plans, he keeps canceling. The first one or two times i say it could be legit but after that the guys a douche and making excuses- he needs to be dropped. I'd say give him a chance to explain what happened and then set up a new plan a couple days in advance. If he does it again and doesn't at least call you to let you know whats up hes not worth it. But as i said the whole in the closet dating is general just not a good idea. the fact is you are putting effort all in the wrong place. You need to focus on coming to terms with your own sexuality, and disclosing it to others before you can have a healthy relationship. In the end dating in the closet is trying to fill the void with the wrong thing, a relationship isn't going to make things better, coming to terms with your sexuality and working your way through the coming out process is what will make things better. Besides once you are out finding people who can have regular healthy relationships with you is a hell of a lot easier.
He could text you that he cannot come even.It takes not even a minute.Maybe he freaked out making it real, who knows.Whatever the reason is he caused a lot of dissapointments.So "get lost" is quite kind word.
(*hug*) Sometimes things can go very very wrong. But if you have the courage to try again, and again, you might find that things can also go very very right. All the best! I am sure there are success stories of online dating out there. And you're not stupid for having such high hopes. High hopes might lead to great disappointment but also great happiness!
I think you should hear him out. Maybe he has some (dumb) reason for not texting/calling you that he couldn't make it. But maybe something really did happen, like a family emergency, and he couldn't get a hold of you. If he makes up a stupid excuse, kick him to the curb. Don't let him tread on you at all. You're better than that. As for dating in the closet, I agree with the poster above. I dated two girls that were in the closet and it was a terrible idea, because they didn't want to go out anywhere, they didn't want me to hold their hand in public, they didn't want anyone to think that we were more than friends. It blew up in one girls face, her friends ran their mouths, and we 'dealt' with the fallout (dealt meaning I told her it'd be okay while she cried.) The other girl, well, we didn't date that long lmao. So let the guy explain himself, and see what you want to do from there.
You took a chance you got burned, it happens. what you're never gonna try and date again? That'll only lead to being lonely forever.
I'd say you should at least hear the guy out. There's several possible explanations, really. It is possible he had an emergency. Also, it is quite possible he had an extreme case of cold feet. I've met people I knew only from online twice (just to hang out, even. Dating wasn't even a faraway consideration) and both times I got physically sick with nerves. What if they would be totally different from online? What if they would be disappointed in me? What if we turned out to instinctively abhor each other? Both times the temptation to keep to the "safe" online channels felt better, and I was about to call the meeting off. So I guess it's even worse when there actualy IS a dating motive. Panicking and fleeing is not a good reaction, but it is all too human. And, finally, he might be called away for a less than urgent matter. However, if you're in the closet, you can hardly claim that you're going to meet some guy from the internet. So he might have had no good excuse and decided to do the closeted thing. One of the pitfalls of closet dating. Regardless, I think slamming the door shut without hearing his part is a bit harsh. Just make sure you express that you were disappointed and hurt. Obviously, he'd better have some kind of excuse (even if it's just "I couldn't handle it after all"), but he might not be a horrible person after all.
This reminds me of a short movie I saw not too long ago. You need to watch this!! The guy gets stood up on a date exactly like you. I won't ruin the ending, just watch it!! :icon_bigg http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWDbEaz8CZU
