[The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

InaRut · 21st Mar 2011, 08:17 PM

Me and my housemate were talking today and during our conversation we came up with a really interesting question.

When each and everyone of us Ec'ers finds our true love (because we all deserve it...) and find ourselves living the last few years of our life, out of you and your spouse, who would you rather go first?
Who is the first to kick the bucket?
Or really...Who's saying their eulogy for who?

I know that I would rather that my spouse dies first (Of Plasma-Core Radiation). Primarily because I'm really good at sentimental writing and I can use the death of my lover as an extra boost to my muse. Primarily, because I'm a romantic and I'll probobly just re-invent my spouse in my mind because I plan on developing dementia and scitzophrenia as the final completion of my artistic aspirations I'd rather have my lover dead then having to deal with my death.

No but seriously, if you think about the question, it's kinda tricky isn't it?

Edit: I love you Zeratul <3

Bryan90 · 21st Mar 2011, 08:26 PM

Obviously we should both be dying together!!!!

But he can die first, I'll commit suicide after LOL!

zeratul · 21st Mar 2011, 09:46 PM

I demand that you die first, InaRut ^_^. I will find another lover after you're gone.

Flyers2011 · 22nd Mar 2011, 08:37 AM

I think, I would rather die first. I don't think I would deal well with my lover's death. I grieve pretty heavily. I'd hate to see my lover grieve, but I don't know if I could handle it.

InaRut · 22nd Mar 2011, 08:42 AM

Hmmm. Honestly, I think that I can deal with grief pretty well, and although I tent to internalize my problems I never one to let much anchor me down for very long. It's an attribute of being a cook in a kitchen so damn long. Eventually you realize that the chit machine will stop, and until the orders keep coming you just got to work through them.

And if opposites attract then my lover (being the opposite of me) should die first because although I've never had to deal with real heartbreak (or loss--Xept with pets?) I do find that in times of sorrow I've been given the super natural ability to find the times when the "chit machine is no longer spouting papers."

Then again, it sounds too dramatically self-sacraficial doesn't it?

GhostDog · 22nd Mar 2011, 04:11 PM

One of my worst nightmares has always been the people I love finding me dead. I used to have these uncomfortably OCD moments where a car would swerve in front of me or something, and the entire scene of my death and my parents having to come identify the body would play out in front of me. And then I'd start crying while driving and it just was not a good thing. >.>

But I think... I think I'd rather not leave anyone alone. I feel like I'd rather deal with all that than make anyone else deal with it. I wonder if that's egocentric of me?

British Lad · 23rd Mar 2011, 03:53 AM

Them first As I can deal with the loss, besides I wan't to live as long as possible.

Aya McCabre · 23rd Mar 2011, 01:35 PM

It doesn't really matter to me. It would be hard no matter who had to go through it..... I would deal with it eventually and I would expect them to do the same. We would both go through the same thing..... perhaps it's because I don't have a partner atm but I don't see it as making much of a difference from a theoretical standpoint.

**Eleanor Rigby** · 23rd Mar 2011, 01:50 PM

That is a very very good question that I often ask myself.
The selfish part of me would rather die first, because I prefer a million time being dead myself than having to deal with the pain of loosing my husband, the other part of me knows he will be as devastated as I would and I'm worried of what would happen to him if I wasn't around to take care of him (the other way around is true too, there are million things I don't know how to do without him).
The romantic part of me hopes that if we have the chance to grow very old together, then the time will come, we'll die together in the arms of each other. The realistic part of me knows that it is probably not what is going to happen and hopes that if he dies first, I'll follow quickly.

TheDarkerPoet · 23rd Mar 2011, 02:15 PM

Maybe this is selfish, I don't know. But I honestly can't handle guilt and grieving over loved ones. I would want to die first.

If I died, I wouldn't have to feel the pain of her death. I would want her to get over it as quickly as possible and I would hope that she'd have the strength to move on. And I'm sure she would have the strength.
I know I wouldn't.

21st Mar 2011, 08:17 PM	#1
InaRut EC's Nu-Disco Walrus Full Member Gender: IRL Yaoi Character Orientation: (｡◕‿◕。) Out Status: ㅎ_ㅎ Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 22 Posts: 7,111 Join Date: Oct 2007	[The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] Me and my housemate were talking today and during our conversation we came up with a really interesting question. When each and everyone of us Ec'ers finds our true love (because we all deserve it...) and find ourselves living the last few years of our life, out of you and your spouse, who would you rather go first? Who is the first to kick the bucket? Or really...Who's saying their eulogy for who? I know that I would rather that my spouse dies first (Of Plasma-Core Radiation). Primarily because I'm really good at sentimental writing and I can use the death of my lover as an extra boost to my muse. Primarily, because I'm a romantic and I'll probobly just re-invent my spouse in my mind because I plan on developing dementia and scitzophrenia as the final completion of my artistic aspirations I'd rather have my lover dead then having to deal with my death. No but seriously, if you think about the question, it's kinda tricky isn't it? Edit: I love you Zeratul <3 __________________ "The first duty of every Starfleet Officer is to the truth. Whether it's scientific truth, historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle to which Starfleet is based. If you can't find it within yourself, to tell the truth about what happened, then you don't deserve to where that uniform." Last edited by InaRut; 21st Mar 2011 at 08:26 PM..

21st Mar 2011, 08:26 PM	#2
Bryan90 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Toronto, Canada Age: 22 Posts: 668 Join Date: Nov 2006	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] Obviously we should both be dying together!!!! But he can die first, I'll commit suicide after LOL! __________________ "But only in their dreams can man be truly free. 'Twas always thus, and always thus will be." - John Keating, Dead Poets Society

21st Mar 2011, 09:46 PM	#3
zeratul Prelate Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Location: Toronto Posts: 748 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] I demand that you die first, InaRut ^_^. I will find another lover after you're gone. __________________ I am a lord of shadows. I claim the shadows that the Shadow may not. I am the strong arm of deliverance. I am Shadowstrider. I am the Scales of Justice. I am He-Who-Guards-Unseen. I am Shadowslayer. I am Nameless. They shall not go unpunished. My way is hard, but I serve unbroken.

22nd Mar 2011, 08:37 AM	#4
Flyers2011 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Location: O-H-I-O! Posts: 886 Join Date: Sep 2010	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] I think, I would rather die first. I don't think I would deal well with my lover's death. I grieve pretty heavily. I'd hate to see my lover grieve, but I don't know if I could handle it. __________________ "We are born with a scream; we come into life with a scream, and maybe love is a mosquito net between the fear of living and the fear of death."- Francis Bacon

22nd Mar 2011, 08:42 AM	#5
InaRut EC's Nu-Disco Walrus Full Member Gender: IRL Yaoi Character Orientation: (｡◕‿◕。) Out Status: ㅎ_ㅎ Location: Montreal, Quebec, Canada Age: 22 Posts: 7,111 Join Date: Oct 2007	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] Hmmm. Honestly, I think that I can deal with grief pretty well, and although I tent to internalize my problems I never one to let much anchor me down for very long. It's an attribute of being a cook in a kitchen so damn long. Eventually you realize that the chit machine will stop, and until the orders keep coming you just got to work through them. And if opposites attract then my lover (being the opposite of me) should die first because although I've never had to deal with real heartbreak (or loss--Xept with pets?) I do find that in times of sorrow I've been given the super natural ability to find the times when the "chit machine is no longer spouting papers." Then again, it sounds too dramatically self-sacraficial doesn't it? __________________ "The first duty of every Starfleet Officer is to the truth. Whether it's scientific truth, historical truth, or personal truth. It is the guiding principle to which Starfleet is based. If you can't find it within yourself, to tell the truth about what happened, then you don't deserve to where that uniform."

22nd Mar 2011, 04:11 PM	#6
GhostDog is Spartacus. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: MAGICAL. Out Status: The hiiills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic! Location: DFW area, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] One of my worst nightmares has always been the people I love finding me dead. I used to have these uncomfortably OCD moments where a car would swerve in front of me or something, and the entire scene of my death and my parents having to come identify the body would play out in front of me. And then I'd start crying while driving and it just was not a good thing. >.> But I think... I think I'd rather not leave anyone alone. I feel like I'd rather deal with all that than make anyone else deal with it. I wonder if that's egocentric of me? __________________ <3 Kirah, who may or may not be made of delicious candy (and the lesbians)

23rd Mar 2011, 03:53 AM	#7
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] Them first As I can deal with the loss, besides I wan't to live as long as possible. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

23rd Mar 2011, 01:35 PM	#8
Aya McCabre Beware of the Metaphor Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dunedin, New Zealand Age: 21 Posts: 613 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] It doesn't really matter to me. It would be hard no matter who had to go through it..... I would deal with it eventually and I would expect them to do the same. We would both go through the same thing..... perhaps it's because I don't have a partner atm but I don't see it as making much of a difference from a theoretical standpoint. __________________ Time is on my side she said. He may be on your side I said, but it makes no difference in the end, He's coming after you my friend........

23rd Mar 2011, 01:50 PM	#9
Eleanor Rigby Filip's sidekick EC Advisor Gender: Female Orientation: Straight Out Status: Out as straight ally Location: France Age: 32 Posts: 5,401 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] That is a very very good question that I often ask myself. The selfish part of me would rather die first, because I prefer a million time being dead myself than having to deal with the pain of loosing my husband, the other part of me knows he will be as devastated as I would and I'm worried of what would happen to him if I wasn't around to take care of him (the other way around is true too, there are million things I don't know how to do without him). The romantic part of me hopes that if we have the chance to grow very old together, then the time will come, we'll die together in the arms of each other. The realistic part of me knows that it is probably not what is going to happen and hopes that if he dies first, I'll follow quickly. __________________ "Act in such a way that you treat humanity, whether in your own person or in the person of another, always at the same time as an end and never simply as a means." Immanuel Kant

23rd Mar 2011, 02:15 PM	#10
TheDarkerPoet EC's Emotional Stud Full Member Gender: Oh, whatever. Orientation: Queer Out Status: Out like a G6 Location: New York Age: 16 Posts: 921 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: [The True] Who goes first? [Perils of Mortality] Maybe this is selfish, I don't know. But I honestly can't handle guilt and grieving over loved ones. I would want to die first. If I died, I wouldn't have to feel the pain of her death. I would want her to get over it as quickly as possible and I would hope that she'd have the strength to move on. And I'm sure she would have the strength. I know I wouldn't. __________________ "No one is of no consequence." - Anakin Skywalker