Me and my housemate were talking today and during our conversation we came up with a really interesting question. When each and everyone of us Ec'ers finds our true love (because we all deserve it...) and find ourselves living the last few years of our life, out of you and your spouse, who would you rather go first? Who is the first to kick the bucket? Or really...Who's saying their eulogy for who? I know that I would rather that my spouse dies first (Of Plasma-Core Radiation). Primarily because I'm really good at sentimental writing and I can use the death of my lover as an extra boost to my muse. Primarily, because I'm a romantic and I'll probobly just re-invent my spouse in my mind because I plan on developing dementia and scitzophrenia as the final completion of my artistic aspirations I'd rather have my lover dead then having to deal with my death. No but seriously, if you think about the question, it's kinda tricky isn't it? Edit: I love you Zeratul <3
I think, I would rather die first. I don't think I would deal well with my lover's death. I grieve pretty heavily. I'd hate to see my lover grieve, but I don't know if I could handle it.
Hmmm. Honestly, I think that I can deal with grief pretty well, and although I tent to internalize my problems I never one to let much anchor me down for very long. It's an attribute of being a cook in a kitchen so damn long. Eventually you realize that the chit machine will stop, and until the orders keep coming you just got to work through them. And if opposites attract then my lover (being the opposite of me) should die first because although I've never had to deal with real heartbreak (or loss--Xept with pets?) I do find that in times of sorrow I've been given the super natural ability to find the times when the "chit machine is no longer spouting papers." Then again, it sounds too dramatically self-sacraficial doesn't it?
One of my worst nightmares has always been the people I love finding me dead. I used to have these uncomfortably OCD moments where a car would swerve in front of me or something, and the entire scene of my death and my parents having to come identify the body would play out in front of me. And then I'd start crying while driving and it just was not a good thing. >.> But I think... I think I'd rather not leave anyone alone. I feel like I'd rather deal with all that than make anyone else deal with it. I wonder if that's egocentric of me?
It doesn't really matter to me. It would be hard no matter who had to go through it..... I would deal with it eventually and I would expect them to do the same. We would both go through the same thing..... perhaps it's because I don't have a partner atm but I don't see it as making much of a difference from a theoretical standpoint.
That is a very very good question that I often ask myself. The selfish part of me would rather die first, because I prefer a million time being dead myself than having to deal with the pain of loosing my husband, the other part of me knows he will be as devastated as I would and I'm worried of what would happen to him if I wasn't around to take care of him (the other way around is true too, there are million things I don't know how to do without him). The romantic part of me hopes that if we have the chance to grow very old together, then the time will come, we'll die together in the arms of each other. The realistic part of me knows that it is probably not what is going to happen and hopes that if he dies first, I'll follow quickly.
Maybe this is selfish, I don't know. But I honestly can't handle guilt and grieving over loved ones. I would want to die first. If I died, I wouldn't have to feel the pain of her death. I would want her to get over it as quickly as possible and I would hope that she'd have the strength to move on. And I'm sure she would have the strength. I know I wouldn't.
