Seems like every time...

[jrnewton2]

I dunno if anyone else gets this, but this has happened almost every time I tell someone I'm gay. As soon as they process the news, without fail, people ask, "So, if you don't mind me asking, when did you realize you were gay?"

Now, it's obviously completely innocuous and I don't mind at all, but it just happens so dependably that it's starting to make me wonder. Does anyone else encounter this as often as I do? Why do you suppose it is?

[thedreamwatch]

I have never had anyone but family or close friends ask me this. Is it people that haven't known you very long? That seems like a weird first question to ask.

[alexi12]

This seems like a popular question, especially for people who don't know many other gay people. Maybe some people try to come up with a reason as to why one is gay based on when you realized, but they don't realize that it has nothing to do with one particular event. Maybe some realize that it has nothing to do with one particular event, and they just want to know how you or someone else can be so sure. (I've gotten that from someone I came out to who was confused at the time because he was trying to figure it out for himself)

[TheEdend]

Ya and I usually smile when they ask it just because it means they understand its not a decision

Even on EC we have a whole thread asking people when they finally figured it out. Its just interesting to know and it sometimes comes with cool stories.

Its also fun because it usually also goes into coming out stories. Which I really enjoy listening too

[VampConspiracy]

The two times I've came out, they didn't ask, but I just spewed it out anyway. Why not? I've already opened up to the person as much as I can be opened up; let him soak in some more information.

[Aya McCabre]

I've been asked a couple of times. It's usually at queer group things so even though we haven't necessarily met before we know that we have common ground and we can both answer that question, so it's more of a discussion starter than anything else.

[Nazo]

The one person I have initiated the coming-out with did ask that, yes.

[Eric]

For me, it's only happened once, after my first coming out. It's sort of a pain of a question for me because I'm not *entirely* sure when I realized I'm gay.

[jrnewton2]

Yeah, it's really weird to try to answer. I usually just end up talking about how it's pretty much always been there, not really something I realized. I dunno, maybe that's just me? What do you guys say?

I should just come up with some kind of cool story though. I'd get a lot of chances to tell it haha

[cardenio]

Yes! I've been asked a few times and I find it kind of annoying. I usually just answer "Well, when did you realize you were straight?"

[zerogravity]

I love this question because as someone mentioned - it shows that people realize that being gay is not a choice!

I'm only out to my immediate family and a few other people, and everyone has asked me this question except my mother, who assumed I must have been molested by a gay teacher or something She doesn't believe that someone can be born gay. I need to encourage her to go to a pflag meeting!

[lostinthought9]

I've been asked that a few times as well. It's hard to answer because there was never really a point in my life where there was a sudden realization of me being gay, it was a gradual thing. I usually just answer the question by saying I kinda always knew, just didn't realize it. Idk, something like that. xD

I have honestly never had anybody ask me how long i've known for. I think thats mainly becuase the people i've told don't have radical views that suggest that haveing these feelings are a choice.