Do people actually know what homophobia is?

[Aya McCabre]

My flatmate's friend is homophobic, but thinks he's not because he makes individual exceptions for people he knows. Last night we went to a gay play. He dropped us off and my flatmate's brother was babysitting, so for once there was more than one (supposedly) straight person in the house. (We'll ignore the fact that my flatmate's brother is extremely camp.... so everything this guy said about 'the way gay guys act' applied equally to the person he was talking to.) I overheard this conversation/rant:

I just don't like gay men. They scare me. I just don't like the way they act. It's not that I'm homophobic or anything.....

Wait, what? You just said you were scared of gay people and then claimed not to be homophobic. So we're obviously not going by the literal definition here. It can be argued that the definition has changed away from being scared.... and towards just not liking people. Which he also admitted to. And then claimed not to be homophobic. So just what exactly does he think it means?

Has anyone else heard of stuff like this? And does anyone have any idea what other definitions of homophobia there could be?

[nate16]

to me homophobia is not just what a person says, but more or less how they act as well. people being contradictory like that are definitely homophobic. I find that in guys especially, (straight ones), it's more awkward, especially in the locker room. all i hear are homophobic remarks. there's also subtle ways, like being avoided by certain people (i'm talking outside of the locker room). i've been in several cases where someone avoided me, never making eye contact, or flinching away from me. *sigh* some people these days. i kinda view anything seen as anti-gay to be some form, wether mild or severe, to be homophobic.

[Kerze]

I know people who are seriously uncomfortable around gay people, but would never say anything biogoted, use offesive words and think that homosexuallity is natural and gays should be equal. I would not consider this homophobia

[Flyers2011]

I've always seen people who were homophobic were three things. One, they're afraid of gay people and are repulsed by them. Two, they hate gay people because they view us as being wrong or sinful or any other word that has a similar manner. Three, the internal homophobes. They're either A. Afraid of being gay, even though they are straight. B. They are actually gay but they try to repress it by acting in a manner that shows hatred and disgust toward gays.

There are also the people that take the stance of, "I don't hate gay people I just don't want to see them with their 'partners'." Which could be viewed as a lesser degree of homophobia. Ignore the problem and it will go away, right?

[nate16]

i think all of the opinions said here are valid, the definition of homophobia is just too broad to define justly with just one explanaition here.

[Beachboi92]

when i have friends pull the
"im not homophobic i just dont like flamboyant gay people" or
"im ok with 'your type' of gay because your not overly feminine"

i. go. off. I inform them that what they are doing is in fact homophobic that they are acting like because that guy is flamboyant he is going to prey on them or is going to convert them or something. I remind them of a couple things
1) get the fuck over yourself, you honestly think your so special that every gay guy is wanting you or something? don't flatter yourself.
2) that guy has more balls than you will ever have to act the way he feels comfortable regardless of how people like you are going to treat them like they are not as good as other people.
3) What you think they are going to hurt you or something? on one end they are these flamboyant sissy's and on the other side they are some sort of predator that is going to hurt you or need to be feared?
4) if your so confident in your sexuality stop being ignorant, being "scared," and man up. There is nothing that is going to happen that is going to affect you in any negative way by being around or involved with gay people. And if your really so straight then its not like your gonna get converted or some shit.
5) You are homophobic on some level or else you wouldn't be saying that ignorant shit so stop bull shitting everyone including yourself and admit it or else you will never get past your homophobia.