How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

Tym Misery · 7th Apr 2011, 01:23 AM

I mean, No matter the conversation I have with someone. It ends up dying quickly >.<"

Totoro · 7th Apr 2011, 02:09 AM

Talk about your day, talk about the weather(Oh look it's really nice outside), talk about things you have in common with this person (e.g. do you like video games? any specifics that you share with this person?) Or if you simply don't know them, try to get to know this person. Play questions and ask each other questions until you're both familiar with each other to some extent

If you're even willing, ask hypothetical questions (what if... I did this...). Talk about the most recent episode of your favorite TV show, talk about quirky events that have happened to you, fun facts about yourself... The list goes on :P I find that conversations only tend to die out when the other person doesn't make an effort to talk back e_e

Revan · 7th Apr 2011, 06:51 AM

Oh shoot, this topic died

I'm just kidding

Tym Misery · 7th Apr 2011, 07:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revan

Oh shoot, this topic died

I'm just kidding

Nice ^_^

Z3ni · 7th Apr 2011, 07:12 AM

When your talking smile, talk with more enthusiasm.. like haah hahaha eheheh!!!!!!!! ok maybe not xD

stageone · 7th Apr 2011, 07:13 AM

Lol. Find common ground you are both interested in and passionate about. I also find it hard to chit-chat. Feels like a waste of breath to try & talk about nothing with people I don't know or care about...

Revan · 7th Apr 2011, 09:01 AM

If worst comes to worst, plant a kiss, that always give things to talk about

Tym Misery · 7th Apr 2011, 09:06 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Revan

If worst comes to worst, plant a kiss, that always give things to talk about

yea, since I was actually thinking of someone I'm crushing on when I asked this... I think not XD

Enaithor · 7th Apr 2011, 09:11 AM

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZRaBJVOIAE

Try this!
;3

**Lexington** · 7th Apr 2011, 09:18 AM

1. Find your common ground.
2. Ask questions based on your common ground.

I've only been to New York a couple times. Which area is the "thoughtlessly dull" one?

Lex

Tym Misery · 7th Apr 2011, 09:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Enaithor

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZRaBJVOIAE

Try this!
;3

malachite · 7th Apr 2011, 10:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lexington

1. Find your common ground.
2. Ask questions based on your common ground.

I've only been to New York a couple times. Which area is the "thoughtlessly dull" one?

Lex

Lex got to it befor I did.

17th Apr 2011, 05:18 PM

ahhhhhhhhh... many people have the same problem... try not to choose a topic... speak whats on your mind... it works for me=)

GhostDog · 17th Apr 2011, 09:17 PM

Not to be creepy here, but, it also really helps to listen to others' conversations and pick up the patterns. I mean, hell, it's pretty much how we learn to socialize when we're wee, and paying conscious attention to it can help you pick up what regular folks talk about.

Humans are social, learning creatures, and if you're having trouble with the social aspect of interaction, then do some learning! Pay attention to what other people do and say. Eventually, you build a picture of what most people chat about. Talking about stuff like the weather or X current local event may seem inane and pointless, but it's social bonding. It's a little safer to test the waters with strangers than, say, "SO HOW ABOUT THEM THERE ABORTION RESTRICTIONS, EH?"

Noticing things about the other person and asking about it helps too. I met my current roommate because she noticed my Amanda Palmer t-shirt. =P "OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE _____?!" is a pretty good conversation starter, haha. People usually like it when others ask about their opinions on things. "Me" and "what I think" are very easy topics to talk about! =P

And, hell, sometimes conversations just die. Sometimes you've said all you can say! Move on to something else and exhaust that next. If a video game you're done talking about reminds you of this weird thing that happened to you at the zoo, share it! Said all you can say about the weather, but you read this article about how weather patterns are affecting some animal or other? Tangential train-of-thought crap like that's kept many a conversation of mine going, anyway. =P

Plus, not every silence is an awkward silence. Sometimes it's nice to just be in a place with your people.

orviceversa · 18th Apr 2011, 01:27 PM

Bear in mind, the silence doesn't always need to be filled to enjoy someone else's company.

7th Apr 2011, 01:23 AM	#1
Tym Misery Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: A few people Location: The city of the thoughtlessly dull, NY Age: 19 Posts: 47 Join Date: Jan 2009	How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? I mean, No matter the conversation I have with someone. It ends up dying quickly >.<" __________________ You have three choices, I can kiss you, I can cry for you or I can make you laugh.

7th Apr 2011, 02:09 AM	#2
Totoro EC's Lurker Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Canada - Ontario Age: 19 Posts: 487 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? Talk about your day, talk about the weather(Oh look it's really nice outside), talk about things you have in common with this person (e.g. do you like video games? any specifics that you share with this person?) Or if you simply don't know them, try to get to know this person. Play questions and ask each other questions until you're both familiar with each other to some extent If you're even willing, ask hypothetical questions (what if... I did this...). Talk about the most recent episode of your favorite TV show, talk about quirky events that have happened to you, fun facts about yourself... The list goes on :P I find that conversations only tend to die out when the other person doesn't make an effort to talk back e_e __________________

7th Apr 2011, 06:51 AM	#3
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? Oh shoot, this topic died I'm just kidding __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

7th Apr 2011, 07:12 AM	#5
Z3ni Ec's ADD Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gayish Out Status: My Twin Location: England, Manchester Posts: 3,083 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? When your talking smile, talk with more enthusiasm.. like haah hahaha eheheh!!!!!!!! ok maybe not xD __________________ Through pain, lies success.

7th Apr 2011, 07:13 AM	#6
stageone Well Known Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay (Lesbian?) Out Status: Privately out. Closest friends & immediate family Location: Ontario Posts: 149 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? Lol. Find common ground you are both interested in and passionate about. I also find it hard to chit-chat. Feels like a waste of breath to try & talk about nothing with people I don't know or care about... __________________ Stageone

7th Apr 2011, 09:01 AM	#7
Revan EC Addict Full Member Gender: M for MEEP! Orientation: Mutant and Proud Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Windsor, Ontario Age: 24 Posts: 6,564 Join Date: Jun 2005	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? If worst comes to worst, plant a kiss, that always give things to talk about __________________ "Is there some reason my coffee isn't here? Has she died or something?" - Miranda Priestly. Strength is not defined by physical capacity, but by indomitable will. ~ Mahatma Gandhi Procrastination is like masturbation, in the end you just wind up screwing yourself.

7th Apr 2011, 09:11 AM	#9
Enaithor TheDude Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Bedfordshire, England Age: 18 Posts: 545 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XZRaBJVOIAE Try this! ;3 __________________ "I'm the bloody queen mate. Basically, I rule." - Liz X (...and the lesbians) "Biting's excellent: it's like kissing, only there's a winner!" - the TARDIS (...and more lesbians!) Demons run but count the cost, the battle's won but the child is lost...

7th Apr 2011, 09:18 AM	#10
Lexington The gay gargoyle EC Advisor Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Colorado Age: 42 Posts: 12,372 Join Date: Dec 2007	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? 1. Find your common ground. 2. Ask questions based on your common ground. I've only been to New York a couple times. Which area is the "thoughtlessly dull" one? Lex

17th Apr 2011, 05:18 PM	#13
pauliie Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? ahhhhhhhhh... many people have the same problem... try not to choose a topic... speak whats on your mind... it works for me=)

17th Apr 2011, 09:17 PM	#14
GhostDog is Spartacus. Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: MAGICAL. Out Status: The hiiills are aliiive with the sound of muuusic! Location: DFW area, Texas Age: 24 Posts: 2,503 Join Date: Apr 2009	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? Not to be creepy here, but, it also really helps to listen to others' conversations and pick up the patterns. I mean, hell, it's pretty much how we learn to socialize when we're wee, and paying conscious attention to it can help you pick up what regular folks talk about. Humans are social, learning creatures, and if you're having trouble with the social aspect of interaction, then do some learning! Pay attention to what other people do and say. Eventually, you build a picture of what most people chat about. Talking about stuff like the weather or X current local event may seem inane and pointless, but it's social bonding. It's a little safer to test the waters with strangers than, say, "SO HOW ABOUT THEM THERE ABORTION RESTRICTIONS, EH?" Noticing things about the other person and asking about it helps too. I met my current roommate because she noticed my Amanda Palmer t-shirt. =P "OH MY GOD, YOU LIKE _____?!" is a pretty good conversation starter, haha. People usually like it when others ask about their opinions on things. "Me" and "what I think" are very easy topics to talk about! =P And, hell, sometimes conversations just die. Sometimes you've said all you can say! Move on to something else and exhaust that next. If a video game you're done talking about reminds you of this weird thing that happened to you at the zoo, share it! Said all you can say about the weather, but you read this article about how weather patterns are affecting some animal or other? Tangential train-of-thought crap like that's kept many a conversation of mine going, anyway. =P Plus, not every silence is an awkward silence. Sometimes it's nice to just be in a place with your people. __________________ <3 Kirah, who may or may not be made of delicious candy (and the lesbians)

18th Apr 2011, 01:27 PM	#15
orviceversa Member Regular Member Gender: Genderqueer Orientation: Queer Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Portland, OR Age: 24 Posts: 17 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How do you "Chit Chat" When your "The Conversation Of Death"? Bear in mind, the silence doesn't always need to be filled to enjoy someone else's company.