Hey guys! I've been doing a bit of observation around Uni lately and discussing this quite a bit in our queer network, and the answers have been quite surprising. I figured I would ask all you wonderful people how you felt your sexuality my Bias you? Here's a few questions to start you off, but please feel free to discuss anything relevant! ------------------ Has anyone ever found that they've been severely bias towards your own sexuality? E.G in forms of preferred friends, company, colleges etc If you're gay, do you hold any homophobic or preferential emotions towards lesbians? <-> Have you felt that you can connect more with people of other queer orientations? ------------------- I think for me the answer is transitional. Originally, when I first coming out, oh so long ago, I definitely would have held other queer orientated people as superior company to heterosexuals - although that's probably due to selfish 'comfortableness' reasons. Nowdays I definitely don't hold any bias, except when it comes to giving advice. I spend a bit of time on other website often trying to help people with advice on coming-out/relationship issues and health issues, but often find myself avoiding, sometimes not even bothering to read, posts by lesbian women, just because I feel a complete lack of ability to relate. I suppose I'm searching for an answer as to whether this is justified? Perhaps I still hold a little bit of homophobic prejudice deep down?
Has anyone ever found that they've been severely bias towards your own sexuality? E.G in forms of preferred friends, company, colleges etc Absolutely not. I have no gay friends who I'm close with, and probably less than 10 gay acquantances who I know. If you're gay, do you hold any homophobic or preferential emotions towards lesbians?I have no lesbian friends, but I don't think it would affect my feelings towards them in any way. Have you felt that you can connect more with people of other queer orientations? Not particularly. I don't have, and never have had, many gay friends. If anything I feel I can connect with straight guys more easily than I can with gay men because, without wanting to stereotype, they seem to have more in common with me. In general I would say that I do have a sexuality bias...against homosexuality! I tend to avoid 'gay culture' as I know from experience I tend to strongly dislike it. I don't go out of my way to meet gay people because I feel like I have more in common with straight guys. Despite being gay myself, I have no inclination to seek out gay friends. If I meet someone who I get on with, who happens to be gay, then great, but I don't seek out friends on the basis that we are both gay. I don't particularly feel like I need gay friends, or that my life would be any better than it is, if I had more gay friends.
I don't think so. I'm still having a bit of a problem accepting myself. I've made gay friends and such, though they are not my predominant number of friends. Why would I? Lesbians are awesome. Not really...I guess that ties into the whole self-acceptance thing.
Has anyone ever found that they've been severely bias towards your own sexuality? E.G in forms of preferred friends, company, colleges etc I didn't have any openly gay friends until recently (when I came out). I do enjoy it - it doesn't bother me if someone is stereotypically gay or not - although I find over the top extroverts a bit annoying in general, and you add a gay element and it just amplifies it. Most of the gay people I know, generally I just find them to be nice people. Straight people are cool too - it doesn't bother me either way. If you're gay, do you hold any homophobic or preferential emotions towards lesbians? <-> I don't have any problems with lesbians. My sister is a lesbian - I wouldn't say I am homophobic or preferential towards them. Have you felt that you can connect more with people of other queer orientations? I have a friend who is asexual (at least that is how it seems), but not "out" - he is very androgynous and exhibits no sexuality at all, let alone a sexual preference. I assume he has some hormonal problem, but we have never talked about it. We get along pretty well and actually he was my best friend in middle school and part of high school.
I am just going to address your concerns regarding the justifiability of your behavior. Well I suppose we can all agree that our actions and behaviours are motivated by an array of factors and variables. On, EC, you might pay more attention to post by a friend because you care about the friend more. You might pay more attention to a post by a person you can personally relate to, or you might pay more attention to a post to someone you potentially have romantic feelings for. I personally don't think that any of the above behavior on preference as a problem - just like how I don't think it's a problem for a person to be only attracted to a particular race. The problem only comes when you have an obligation to treat people equally but you do not. Say you are an LGBT advisor or counsellor and you pay more attention to gay men issues compared to lesbian women issues. Such obligations are typically codified in law. Other than that, I personally have no problems with what we like to call 'bigotry' but those that are lawful - such as a person who says, only make friends with a particular gender or a particular race; so as long as the person recognises that such preference have no place when objectivity is required due to responsibility (i.e. when hiring workers).
Has anyone ever found that they've been severely bias towards your own sexuality? E.G in forms of preferred friends, company, colleges etc When I was first coming out and really young, yes, I was biased towards other gay men. They reminded me of a part of myself that I wanted to ignore. Once I came out of the closet my homophobia and self-hatred went away. I have a ton of LGBT friends now, of all persuasions. If you're gay, do you hold any homophobic or preferential emotions towards lesbians? No, one of my very best friends is a lesbian. It's a neutral thing for me. I guess I would feel closer towards a lesbian initially, maybe, but we're only going to be friends if we have other stuff in common too. Have you felt that you can connect more with people of other queer orientations? I get along fine with other LGBT people, but I've found that I feel closest to and the most comfortable with heterosexual girls. I don't know why that is.
Has anyone ever found that they've been severely bias towards your own sexuality? E.G in forms of preferred friends, company, colleges etc Truth be told, yeah I do. I hate to say it, but aside from one or two gay friends, most of the guys i know here act like complete promiscuous sluts. All I hear is one "conquest" after another, and it just makes me sometimes revolted to be gay. I'm sure there is some reason behind why they pretty much put their body out there so willingly, but still...there's a difference between being sexually active and having an active sex life, and being a promiscuous whore. So yeah that's my answer. If you're gay, do you hold any homophobic or preferential emotions towards lesbians? Nope, I think they're wonderful people, I actually don't know too many lesbians or hang out with them, but it's more just because we are more acquaintance wise than friendship. And that's just how our relationships developed. Have you felt that you can connect more with people of other queer orientations? Nope. Most of my friends, minus my bf and one or two others, are straight and I get along better with them than anyone else.
