not knowing youre in love - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

limfjord96 · 9th Apr 2011, 12:17 AM

had a deep conversation with a coworker today, do you think it is possible to fall in love with some one with out knowing it until one day it just hits ya like a ton of bricks? has this happened to anyone?

Nomad187 · 9th Apr 2011, 12:27 AM

yup I think its possible. in fact I know it is. cliche I know but I fell in love with my best friend. We have been friends since we were in grade 2 and basically after he moved like 7 hours away I felt a giant hole in my life. I talked to him every day after he moved but not having him there to hug and see face to face was tough and after not seeing each other for a year when I went to visit him I felt like that hole was filled again. I knew I loved him but only as a brother because all my brothers are alot older than me so he was my age and family basically our families were close because of us. and yea after that I realized

limfjord96 · 9th Apr 2011, 12:42 AM

yeah, that is cliche but awesome, i think its way common. We let people in unknowingly and little things here and there add up until we are completely consumed by this individual, its kinda cool. Now is risking that connection worth it for a shot at something better?

Mirko · 9th Apr 2011, 12:57 AM

Yeah, I think it is possible.

Quote:

Originally Posted by limfjord96

yeah, that is cliche but awesome, i think its way common. We let people in unknowingly and little things here and there add up until we are completely consumed by this individual, its kinda cool. Now is risking that connection worth it for a shot at something better?

Well, if you feel that it is worth it to give it a shot, why not? Telling someone how you feel about them, is putting words to the feelings. If someone would tell me that they have fallen in love with me, without me knowing, the last thing I would do is run away. I would be flattered and at least give the person a chance to explain. If I don't have the same feelings, I would try to build a- or maintain the friendship and try to make the person feel less awkward about the situation.

If I feel that there is something or there is potential for something to develop, I would give it a shot myself. Probably I would hug the person first and then explain what I feel, and why giving it a chance would be a cool thing to do.

It is a risk, but I wouldn't necessarily see it as a risk to an existing friendship. In some ways, being open about ones feelings with the other person can perhaps even strengthen the friendship in ways that weren't possible before.

limfjord96 · 9th Apr 2011, 01:01 AM

i totally agree, i feel having a foundation of friendship can always be fell back on, where as casdual dating ends badly typically bc there is no foundation in case the relationship crumbles, well just my experience so far, id be down to go for it i think, why not? lol

RaRa · 9th Apr 2011, 01:48 AM

This is how it was with a friend of mine...knew him since 7th grade...than in 11th grade...BAM!

Allegro molto · 9th Apr 2011, 05:55 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RaRa

This is how it was with a friend of mine...knew him since 7th grade...than in 11th grade...BAM!

The EXACT same thing happened to me with the EXACT same schooling years. Met him in 7th grade when I moved from my home town. We became best friends really quickly. When he got his first girlfriend, I was super jealous and realized I had strong feelings for him (although I probably wouldn't say I was in love with him). However, my feelings eventually left and he got married just a few months ago (to the same girl).

Aya McCabre · 9th Apr 2011, 05:43 PM

I fell in love with someone, got banned from seeing them, got over them and then realised some years later that I had been in love with her..... I'm a little slow sometimes haha

Flyers2011 · 9th Apr 2011, 05:55 PM

This happened to me.

I was friends with a girl in my gym class and it just hit me one day that I really liked her. I struggled with my sexuality. Then about a year later I realized it was love.

Then we became good friends and I miss her like hell. But that's because we're great friends. I realized that we were better as friends.

But. Occasionally I think, "What if?" But I assume that's just wishful thinking.

MyDecember · 9th Apr 2011, 07:09 PM

Yes. Especially for those who have never been in love. You have this deep feeling, deep connection to someone you only ever thought of as a friend. Never thought of them as anything else so you let that connection grow without giving it a second thought and BAM

thedreamwatch · 9th Apr 2011, 10:01 PM

This is completely possible. That happened to me. I knew the person for years and thought nothing of it, but then when they left my life I was crushed and when we were reunited I realized I was in love and should have recognized it before...

Totally possible. Sometimes it sneaks up on you.

9th Apr 2011, 12:17 AM	#1
limfjord96 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pretty Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Diego Age: 30 Posts: 442 Join Date: Feb 2009	not knowing youre in love had a deep conversation with a coworker today, do you think it is possible to fall in love with some one with out knowing it until one day it just hits ya like a ton of bricks? has this happened to anyone? __________________ Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit, sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate that brushes your heel as it turns going by, the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant. -Miguel De Una Muvico

9th Apr 2011, 12:27 AM	#2
Nomad187 EC's Resident Parawhore Full Member Gender: I have an outie not an innie Orientation: Gay Out Status: I have a walk in closet that I walked out of Location: Red Deer, Alberta Age: 19 Posts: 890 Join Date: May 2010	Re: not knowing youre in love yup I think its possible. in fact I know it is. cliche I know but I fell in love with my best friend. We have been friends since we were in grade 2 and basically after he moved like 7 hours away I felt a giant hole in my life. I talked to him every day after he moved but not having him there to hug and see face to face was tough and after not seeing each other for a year when I went to visit him I felt like that hole was filled again. I knew I loved him but only as a brother because all my brothers are alot older than me so he was my age and family basically our families were close because of us. and yea after that I realized __________________ There's a Vulture on my shoulder and he's tellin me to give in Always hissin right in my ear like its comin from my own head Its got me mixed up tryin not to give up tell me there's a way to get out of here

9th Apr 2011, 12:42 AM	#3
limfjord96 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pretty Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Diego Age: 30 Posts: 442 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: not knowing youre in love yeah, that is cliche but awesome, i think its way common. We let people in unknowingly and little things here and there add up until we are completely consumed by this individual, its kinda cool. Now is risking that connection worth it for a shot at something better? __________________ Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit, sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate that brushes your heel as it turns going by, the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant. -Miguel De Una Muvico

9th Apr 2011, 01:01 AM	#5
limfjord96 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Pretty Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: San Diego Age: 30 Posts: 442 Join Date: Feb 2009	Re: not knowing youre in love i totally agree, i feel having a foundation of friendship can always be fell back on, where as casdual dating ends badly typically bc there is no foundation in case the relationship crumbles, well just my experience so far, id be down to go for it i think, why not? lol __________________ Shake off this sadness, and recover your spirit, sluggish you will never see the wheel of fate that brushes your heel as it turns going by, the man who wants to live is the man in whom life is abundant. -Miguel De Una Muvico

9th Apr 2011, 01:48 AM	#6
RaRa We we we so excited Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: A few people Location: Los Angeles, CA Age: 21 Posts: 7,439 Join Date: Nov 2008	Re: not knowing youre in love This is how it was with a friend of mine...knew him since 7th grade...than in 11th grade...BAM! __________________ Do you think about me now and then? Do you think about me now and then? Oh now I'm comin' home again Maybe we can start again

9th Apr 2011, 05:43 PM	#8
Aya McCabre Beware of the Metaphor Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Lesbian Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Dunedin, New Zealand Age: 21 Posts: 613 Join Date: Feb 2011	Re: not knowing youre in love I fell in love with someone, got banned from seeing them, got over them and then realised some years later that I had been in love with her..... I'm a little slow sometimes haha __________________ Time is on my side she said. He may be on your side I said, but it makes no difference in the end, He's coming after you my friend........

9th Apr 2011, 05:55 PM	#9
Flyers2011 EC Addict Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Gay Out Status: Everyone. And I mean EVERYONE. Location: O-H-I-O! Posts: 886 Join Date: Sep 2010	Re: not knowing youre in love This happened to me. I was friends with a girl in my gym class and it just hit me one day that I really liked her. I struggled with my sexuality. Then about a year later I realized it was love. Then we became good friends and I miss her like hell. But that's because we're great friends. I realized that we were better as friends. But. Occasionally I think, "What if?" But I assume that's just wishful thinking. __________________ "We are born with a scream; we come into life with a scream, and maybe love is a mosquito net between the fear of living and the fear of death."- Francis Bacon

9th Apr 2011, 07:09 PM	#10
MyDecember I pause your thread! Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: All but family Location: Florida Age: 23 Posts: 365 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: not knowing youre in love Yes. Especially for those who have never been in love. You have this deep feeling, deep connection to someone you only ever thought of as a friend. Never thought of them as anything else so you let that connection grow without giving it a second thought and BAM __________________ This is my simple religion: There is no need for temples, there is no need for complicated philosophy. Our own brain, our own heart is the temple;the philosophy is loving kindness and compassion --The XIVth Dalai Lama

9th Apr 2011, 10:01 PM	#11
thedreamwatch Maximum Ridiculosity Full Member Gender: Female Orientation: Kinsey 5. So, pretty gay. Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Wisconsin Age: 22 Posts: 1,274 Join Date: Jan 2011	Re: not knowing youre in love This is completely possible. That happened to me. I knew the person for years and thought nothing of it, but then when they left my life I was crushed and when we were reunited I realized I was in love and should have recognized it before... Totally possible. Sometimes it sneaks up on you. __________________ "I came out laughing, I came out screaming, I came out dancing..." - T&S

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