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Not sure what to do

Discussion in 'Chit Chat' started by xxanderx, Apr 11, 2011.

  1. xxanderx

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    Hey first id like to say im new here! This is my first post in EC.

    Okay so I didnt know who else to turn to so I figured I would seek advice here.

    There is this guy who I met like 3 months ago. I have a really big crush on him.
    Hes never had a girlfriend OR boyfriend in his life.
    Hes REALLY shy just like me.

    We recently started hanging out. The first time we just went to my apartment and talked. The third time we watched Skins together and ended up snuggling. I was the one who made the first move. I was sure he was gay so I decided to go for it. I put my arm around his arm and he was really stiff -.- but I figured since he didn't move away he didn't mind it. I ended up laying my head on his shoulder..

    The forth time he came over we were watching skins like usual and this time I took it further and held his hand and laid on him.

    I asked if he liked me and he said yeah but he isn't sure.

    I asked him days later if he had a crush on my and he said "Honestly I dont think I do, but for some reason I like coming over and seeing you and I like snuggling"


    This is extremely confusing to me -_-
     
    #1 xxanderx, Apr 11, 2011
    Last edited: Apr 11, 2011
  2. Daryn

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    Welcome to EC :slight_smile: . Well, I noticed that you put not sure as your orientation, and my guess is that this guy could be unsure as well. Maybe try developing a friendship before trying to push anything romantic. I would take it slow and not rush anything.
     
  3. xxanderx

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    Well im kinda sure. I usually like guys more than girls (!)
     
  4. Foxed

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    Some people just like a snuggle buddy. My advice is to keep things as they are for a bit, as they seem to be good.

    Maybe in a bit, tell him how you feel, and go from there. Maybe he does have feelings for you, maybe he'll develop them, who knows? Enjoy what you have for now ^_^
     
  5. Gumtree

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    When it comes to snuggling, sexuality means nothing! Everyone loves a snuggle!

    I have plenty of straight male friends that can't watch a movie with me without ending up snuggling, half the time they initiate it. Girls are even worse :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    That said, the fact that he went for it at such an early stage in your 'recent' friendship does allude to a 'not quite so straight' situation.

    Give it time and space, when one of the involved parties are confused, let alone both, it's impossible to know how it could blossom.

    When it comes to situations like this, I tend to follow a rule of initiation, I call it "The Ratio" :stuck_out_tongue_closed_eyes:

    The Ratio idea is that when you're in a situation where you're exploring, confused, closeted, awkward, new etc, then you should never make the 'first move' twice in a row.

    You've already made the first move, by initiating the snuggling, now you wait for him to make the next move. Thus a 1:1 Ratio!

    The rule ensures both parties are actually interested, not moving too fast and that one person isn't influencing the other too much. Give it a try :slight_smile:
     
  6. xxanderx

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    I dont know of any straight man that would be willing to snuggle with another man. I'm pretty sure hes gay but hes just so far in the closet that hes not comfortable with these kinds of things yet :|
     
  7. pauliie

    pauliie Guest

    owch... tough!!! He admitted that he did like you at first but then he backed out.
    He probably meant it all but the difficult part might me "coming out". It always is. Try to get him out on a friendly date nights, and warm him up to the condition of you guys going out.