How to look and possable act straight while being gay? - Empty Closets - A safe online community for gay, lesbian, bisexual, transgendered people coming out

British Lad · 21st Apr 2011, 03:16 PM

(note: I did not know were to put this so put it here)
Currently I am in the most homophobic/conservative part of the Country and I wanted to know how I could ”blend in” with all the other straight guys around in terms of acting and clothing. The more blended in the better and I have no bf so that is no issuse and also to not so up on anybodys gaydar.

Kamina · 21st Apr 2011, 03:23 PM

dress in baggy jeans and a black shirt, listen to heavy metal all the time, drink beer.

Or alternately, be yourself. It works for me, and nobody can tell that I'm gay unless I outright tell them or make comments about guys I find attractive.

Rikudo · 21st Apr 2011, 03:43 PM

You either got it or you don't.

British Lad · 21st Apr 2011, 03:52 PM

I perfer cider is that manly or girly and I will take time for My skinny jeans to wear out.

Holmes · 21st Apr 2011, 03:53 PM

Just don't think about it too much. Most people who are conservative are so because they haven't met too many gay people, so they won't necessarily be on the look-out for tell-tale signs. If you don't want to stand out, don't. But don't stress out in the mean time.

Kamina · 21st Apr 2011, 03:54 PM

I don't know, but if you want to increase your man points, watch Gurren Lagann. That show is the very definition of manly.

British Lad · 21st Apr 2011, 04:20 PM

I think I have some cloths I need to streach so there no so tight.

Allegro molto · 21st Apr 2011, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kamina

I don't know, but if you want to increase your man points, watch Gurren Lagann. That show is the very definition of manly.

^^^ THIS.

Lol. All jokes aside, I don't know a specific way to "act" straight or "dress" straight. I'm more feminine than most men, but not too much. I say this because I, too, live in a super conservative part of the U.S. (the DEEP DEEP South...) and I just act the way I am. People and customers (I work in retail) often joke about me getting a girlfriend and having a wife, etc. etc. In short, I think it's just being comfortable with yourself. I think if you're not comfortable with yourself, that's when people will start to turn a suspicious eye towards you...I guess.

Hope this helped at least a little bit.

RaRa · 21st Apr 2011, 07:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rikudo

You either got it or you don't.

This.

Unless you're a good actor, but that's hard.

21st Apr 2011, 08:12 PM

The thing I would want to know is why you want to blend in? In my opinion, by creating an image to please someone else you are going to alienate yourself to who you really are. Instead of trying to fit in with these people why don't you find some friends who are going to take you as you are and not be worried about your sexuality. There are accepting people out there, you just have to find where they are.

Personally I spent years trying to live the straight life, and in return I got years of pain of which I never want to go back to ever. I had it all covered, had the friends and a girlfriend to validate my falsified heterosexuality to the world and my family. Everyday became another scene of my acted life and eventually I grew tired of it, it wasn't worth the pain I had put myself through.

I try to live my life as truthfully as I can these days, I don't care what religion/race/sexuality/gender somebody is as long as they are a good person. If people I like have strong views its usually because of something they believe in, and I try to respect that as much as I can like they do for me. I've found new respect for myself because I am now an individual in my own right, I've adopted a new attitude where I now choose what direction I want to take my life and I am slowly working towards that.

Maybe I went a little OTT here but I felt that I needed to say it. Maybe I'm still angry because I let it happen to myself.

partietraumatic · 22nd Apr 2011, 01:09 AM

You're profile says you live in the west midlands, which is a big place. It's not all conservative and homophobic- Birmingham has a pretty large gay quarter and is recognised as having a good gay scene. Sure, there are parts of the west midlands which are conservative and homophobic, but there are many parts of it which aren't at all.

Also, my friend lives in David Cameron's constituency, so that's probably the most conservative place in the country

British Lad · 22nd Apr 2011, 03:00 AM

Well I am currently in Cornwall on holiday, which is the most conservative place in England.

IsItSo · 22nd Apr 2011, 11:37 AM

Talk less. When you do talk, don't use hand motions or inflect your voice a lot.

BasketCase · 22nd Apr 2011, 01:02 PM

Get wired into some Scrumpy.

You'll likely shit yourself but it is as manly as f**k.

Enaithor · 22nd Apr 2011, 01:19 PM

A lot of hxc homophobes (usually the ones on religious grounds) actually won't pick ANYONE up as gay, because to them it's such an abomination to even think such a terrible thing of someone, I mean if Michael Flatley is Lord of the Dance then I am Lord of the Gays (at least in real life) and I know someone who had NO IDEA I was gay at all because he wouldn't dare to think that of someone.
You'll probably be fine. Beer would be a better choice of drink than cider though, because pear cider is the girliest drink in the UNIVERSE

But also, as you're in Cornwall you'll be fine because they're all old anyway so they ain't exactly gon' beat you to death
And if you failing at acting straight then just have over 9000 confidence and they'll probably be too scared to say anything.

Also, protip: if you're from a ghetto (like me woop) and you think you might get killed outside of it just act ghetto and like, you won't get killed

SlickyPants · 22nd Apr 2011, 01:27 PM

+ YouTube Video

I have been trying to copy these guys for a few months now and I think it may be working. The way they dress, the way they dance... I also try to sing the song in my head so it gives me that extra little manly perk in my step.

Seriously though I would just relax and be yourself and if you are really intent on hiding your sexual orientation then just don't mention it.

British Lad · 22nd Apr 2011, 04:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by SlickyPants

Youtube Video

I have been trying to copy these guys for a few months now and I think it may be working. The way they dress, the way they dance... I also try to sing the song in my head so it gives me that extra little manly perk in my step.

Seriously though I would just relax and be yourself and if you are really intent on hiding your sexual orientation then just don't mention it.

Your kidding me Right, This is The Village People were talking about, They are the campest band ever. It sends my gaydar of so much I have to go and get it fixed and recalabrated. I think I need to be more like Schewsnegger(i know I spelt it wrong) or Willis or even Statham and Damon

Zontar · 22nd Apr 2011, 04:44 PM

Last I recall, being half-gay didn't make me act any different from other people.

Don't kiss guys in public and you should be good.

IanGallagher · 22nd Apr 2011, 04:58 PM

Is there acting straight? There's a guy at work who is a lot more feminine than I am, he's straight. I'm softer than most, but still just a regular guy who also likes guys. If one was to judge which of the two of us is 'gay,' simply by the way we acted, they'd likely say him. So is there acting straight? I doubt it.

I was flirting/grinding with a hot guy last night who also didn't come off as the stereotypical gay guy and no one ever expected him. Basically, there's no acting straight or acting gay. Some straight guys get confused as gay all the time simply because of stereotypes.

21st Apr 2011, 03:16 PM	#1
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	How to look and possable act straight while being gay? (note: I did not know were to put this so put it here) Currently I am in the most homophobic/conservative part of the Country and I wanted to know how I could ”blend in” with all the other straight guys around in terms of acting and clothing. The more blended in the better and I have no bf so that is no issuse and also to not so up on anybodys gaydar. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

21st Apr 2011, 03:23 PM	#2
Kamina Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Louisville Age: 20 Posts: 79 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? dress in baggy jeans and a black shirt, listen to heavy metal all the time, drink beer. Or alternately, be yourself. It works for me, and nobody can tell that I'm gay unless I outright tell them or make comments about guys I find attractive. Last edited by Kamina; 21st Apr 2011 at 03:26 PM..

21st Apr 2011, 03:43 PM	#3
Rikudo EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Age: 20 Posts: 2,198 Join Date: Dec 2009	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? You either got it or you don't. __________________ "Out of love, sacrifice is born... Hate is born... and we are able to know pain!"

21st Apr 2011, 03:52 PM	#4
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? I perfer cider is that manly or girly and I will take time for My skinny jeans to wear out. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

21st Apr 2011, 03:53 PM	#5
Holmes EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out Location: Ireland Age: 25 Posts: 609 Join Date: Aug 2009	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Just don't think about it too much. Most people who are conservative are so because they haven't met too many gay people, so they won't necessarily be on the look-out for tell-tale signs. If you don't want to stand out, don't. But don't stress out in the mean time.

21st Apr 2011, 03:54 PM	#6
Kamina Member Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Bisexual Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Louisville Age: 20 Posts: 79 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? I don't know, but if you want to increase your man points, watch Gurren Lagann. That show is the very definition of manly.

21st Apr 2011, 04:20 PM	#7
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? I think I have some cloths I need to streach so there no so tight. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

21st Apr 2011, 08:12 PM	#10
Giorria Guest Posts: n/a	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? The thing I would want to know is why you want to blend in? In my opinion, by creating an image to please someone else you are going to alienate yourself to who you really are. Instead of trying to fit in with these people why don't you find some friends who are going to take you as you are and not be worried about your sexuality. There are accepting people out there, you just have to find where they are. Personally I spent years trying to live the straight life, and in return I got years of pain of which I never want to go back to ever. I had it all covered, had the friends and a girlfriend to validate my falsified heterosexuality to the world and my family. Everyday became another scene of my acted life and eventually I grew tired of it, it wasn't worth the pain I had put myself through. I try to live my life as truthfully as I can these days, I don't care what religion/race/sexuality/gender somebody is as long as they are a good person. If people I like have strong views its usually because of something they believe in, and I try to respect that as much as I can like they do for me. I've found new respect for myself because I am now an individual in my own right, I've adopted a new attitude where I now choose what direction I want to take my life and I am slowly working towards that. Maybe I went a little OTT here but I felt that I needed to say it. Maybe I'm still angry because I let it happen to myself.

22nd Apr 2011, 01:09 AM	#11
partietraumatic A gay heteropolitan? Full Member Gender: Male Out Status: Enough for now Location: Oxford and Birmingham, UK Age: 20 Posts: 1,300 Join Date: Jul 2008	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? You're profile says you live in the west midlands, which is a big place. It's not all conservative and homophobic- Birmingham has a pretty large gay quarter and is recognised as having a good gay scene. Sure, there are parts of the west midlands which are conservative and homophobic, but there are many parts of it which aren't at all. Also, my friend lives in David Cameron's constituency, so that's probably the most conservative place in the country __________________ 'Im not your toy and this isn't another girl meets boy'

22nd Apr 2011, 03:00 AM	#12
British Lad EC Biggest Tarantino fan Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: As bent as a roundabout Out Status: What Closet Location: West Midlands Posts: 1,275 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Well I am currently in Cornwall on holiday, which is the most conservative place in England. __________________ Who ever sayed "Ignorance is bliss" was a moron.

22nd Apr 2011, 11:37 AM	#13
IsItSo EC Addict Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: 同志 Out Status: A few people Location: New York-ish Age: 18 Posts: 771 Join Date: Apr 2010	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Talk less. When you do talk, don't use hand motions or inflect your voice a lot.

22nd Apr 2011, 01:02 PM	#14
BasketCase EC Addict Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Two Brothers, HCP and now a work colleague/friend. Location: Northern Ireland Age: 30 Posts: 323 Join Date: Mar 2009	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Get wired into some Scrumpy. You'll likely shit yourself but it is as manly as f**k.

22nd Apr 2011, 01:19 PM	#15
Enaithor TheDude Full Member Gender: Male Orientation: Gay Out Status: Out to everyone Location: Bedfordshire, England Age: 18 Posts: 545 Join Date: Oct 2008	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? A lot of hxc homophobes (usually the ones on religious grounds) actually won't pick ANYONE up as gay, because to them it's such an abomination to even think such a terrible thing of someone, I mean if Michael Flatley is Lord of the Dance then I am Lord of the Gays (at least in real life) and I know someone who had NO IDEA I was gay at all because he wouldn't dare to think that of someone. You'll probably be fine. Beer would be a better choice of drink than cider though, because pear cider is the girliest drink in the UNIVERSE But also, as you're in Cornwall you'll be fine because they're all old anyway so they ain't exactly gon' beat you to death And if you failing at acting straight then just have over 9000 confidence and they'll probably be too scared to say anything. Also, protip: if you're from a ghetto (like me woop) and you think you might get killed outside of it just act ghetto and like, you won't get killed __________________ "I'm the bloody queen mate. Basically, I rule." - Liz X (...and the lesbians) "Biting's excellent: it's like kissing, only there's a winner!" - the TARDIS (...and more lesbians!) Demons run but count the cost, the battle's won but the child is lost...

22nd Apr 2011, 04:44 PM	#18
Zontar Mister Funny Man Full Member Gender: Male Location: Binghampton, NY Posts: 1,534 Join Date: Oct 2010	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Last I recall, being half-gay didn't make me act any different from other people. Don't kiss guys in public and you should be good. __________________ Get up and open your eyes...Don't ever let yourself ever fall down... Get through it and learn how to fly...I know you'll find a way...today. -Days of the New, "Dirty Road"

22nd Apr 2011, 04:58 PM	#19
IanGallagher The fluctuator Regular Member Gender: Male Orientation: Mutant and proud Out Status: All except work and extended family. Location: I fly as much as Superman Age: 24 Posts: 619 Join Date: Apr 2011	Re: How to look and possable act straight while being gay? Is there acting straight? There's a guy at work who is a lot more feminine than I am, he's straight. I'm softer than most, but still just a regular guy who also likes guys. If one was to judge which of the two of us is 'gay,' simply by the way we acted, they'd likely say him. So is there acting straight? I doubt it. I was flirting/grinding with a hot guy last night who also didn't come off as the stereotypical gay guy and no one ever expected him. Basically, there's no acting straight or acting gay. Some straight guys get confused as gay all the time simply because of stereotypes.