Encounters with the Stupid Kind

I thought it'd be funny to hear some stories like this.

What are some stories where people were just..so stupid that you couldn't help but laugh on the inside or outside?

[rangerfan]

Actually funny story today, a good friend of mine I will refer to as J. And my teacher as B

B: J do you know what Alcatraz is?
J: Yeah i know what it is
B: What is it?
J: Oh its where a concentration camp from World War 2

Now there is about a 10 people listening to this and well lets just say we were like this for a good 5 minutes

B: Where do you think Alcatraz?
J: I think it is in germany
B:
B: Do you know who Al Capone is?
J: Yeah he is general for the U.S

Now after she said we just stopped asking her questions.

[Daryn]

Me: Grandma, I just don't understand how you can be like this. I don't get how you think hating anybody who isn't a white, catholic, american is okay.
Grandma: You think people who aren't white are normal?
Me: -_-

[Paper Heart]

A. Can you try to find someone to give you a ride before quarter of one?
B. Ummm...is that 12:20 or 12:40?
A. :O ?

[Tiny Catastrophe]

My mom and I had just picked up my best friend and my best friend and I were having a conversation about homophobia and my mom interjects with this:

Mom- Homophobic? Is that like when someone's afraid of their house or something? That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard!

Me- (then explained homophobia to her)

[Allegro molto]

*customer wheels grocery cart around to my register*
Moi: "Ma'am, can you pull up your cart a little more, please?"
Her: "...what? Card?" (this is a young woman, mind you)
Moi: "Your cart."
Her: "My....cart?"
Moi: "...Yes, your cart."
Her: "....what's a cart?"
Moi: (almost facepalms) "Your...*gulp* buggy."
Her: "Oooooh! My buggy!"
Moi: *under my breath* "Damned southerners...."

[kettlkorn]

Me working as telemarketer: Your credit card is now activated and you may begin using it. Have a great day!
Customer: WAIT
Me: Yes?
Customer: So it's activated now?
Me: Yes.
Customer: And I can use it?
Me: ...
Customer: Hello?
Me: Yes. You can. Have a nice day.

[Shevanel]

+ YouTube Video

This clips sums it up.

Print screen!

[Z3ni]

This was from my first job..

I asked a colleague where a product was:

He goes : How am I suppose to know?

I was thinking : .. "Cunt.. you've been working here for 10 years!!!"

[Gumtree]

Me talking to my best friend on the phone

Friend: I'm just at the checkout now, buying the stuff for tonight
Me: Sweet, have you forgotten anything?
Friend: OMG Where's my phone, SHIT SHIT SHIT I lost my phone (I overhear her asking the checkout chick if she's seen her phone anywhere).
Me: *laughing so hard* where was the last place you had it?
Friend: I think I might have put it down at the yoghurt! (I hear her running..)
Friend: ...Yeh... oops.

[Z3ni]

^^

AHahhahah!

[Pepsi]

I could post hundreds of things my sister has said. She is actually very smart but sometimes she says really stupid things. Her most infamous was the following.

Me and my brothers were having a conversation about OJ Simpson. My sister, who was probably about 19 at the time, walked in and was confused by what we were saying so she asked "Who are you talking about?" So we told her "OJ Simpson." Her response which my entire family still makes fun of her for was "the president?"


Another time, me and my mom were talking about her friend who had to go to a battered women's shelter. My sister, completely seriously mind you, asked "Is that where woman go to get battered?"

It may be hard to believe that the same girl is on the dean's list at her college but it is really only because she doesn't think before she speaks.

[aidan]

A couple of years ago a girl in my art class asked:

"What's a rectum??? Isn't that in your nose?"

[straal1972]

^^ only if you're getting lucky......lmao

[SlickyPants]

This happened yesterday at work (retail). A lady came in and wanted to know if anybody found a pair of sunglasses that she thought she might have left behind the day before. I looked around all the usual places where we put 'lost and found' type stuff and asked my co-workers. There were no glasses and nobody recalled anything being turned in. When I came back to tell her that we didn't have any sunglasses left behind I realized she was wearing them and probably didn't even know it.

I never did tell her she was wearing it because I didn't want to make her feel like a dummy. She'll probably find them soon enough though.

[itzjoe]

ok so i went in to the shop with my friend to buy the stuff for his pet tortoise (he got it today so awesome!!!) - and he was a bit confused on what it was and he said, 'i need things for my land turtle'

[Flyers2011]

I was chewing the fat with a guy from school and he started hitting on me. So I came out to him (not that everybody didn't already know?)

He was like no way you're not gay, how do you know?

I said, "I've had two girlfriends and I don't like penis."

He then proceeded to try to sleep with me.

Repeatedly.

[Phoenix]

My philosophy teacher is Japanese (she's said so several times and that she moved to the U.S. in 1991), and one day a student goes, "Was it hard to learn Japanese?" and she's like "...You're asking me, a native speaker?" The entire class lawled.

[RedState]

Ugh...the time I had to talk to Jim Clyburn.
That and the time i had to talk to a woman on the phone who insisted on talking to my boss because she was convinced her son had joined a cult while serving in Iraq...and anyone that calls that insists they have been abducted by aliens